S9E11 - Transforming Stress into Strength: Breaking Barriers and Building Bridges Through Embracing Change and Community with Coach K!! #ShitHappens

What if stress could be your ally rather than your adversary? We're kicking off this episode with a mindset revolution alongside the incredible Coach K (Kisha Woods), who shares her wisdom on transforming stress from a burden into a source of strength. Together, we explore how stepping away from negativity and outdated thinking can align us with a community of like-minded individuals who push us to be our authentic selves. As we stand on the threshold of 2024, there's no better time to embrace passion-driven stress as a catalyst for living unapologetically and fully supporting each other in our personal journeys.

Ready to break out of your comfort zone? Join us as we explore the exhilarating world of networking through the lens of PortFest. This event is a celebration of diversity and connection, where the powerful presence of the black community creates a vibrant tapestry of belonging. Whether you're exhausted or exhilarated from the nonstop conversations, it's clear that breaking free from cliques and expanding your network can lead to personal growth and increased visibility. We share stories of meaningful connections formed, underscoring the importance of fostering inclusive communities that inspire growth and genuine relationships.

Embracing change isn't always easy, but it can be transformative. We reflect on the journey of overcoming adversity and the strength found in self-belief. From personal anecdotes of uncertainty and job loss to stories of resilience and unwavering focus, this episode is a testament to the power of showing up and putting in the work. Coach K guides us through mindset transformations, illustrating how letting go of ingrained beliefs can pave the way for a fulfilling life. Tune in to hear about personal growth strategies, the art of self-discovery, and the exciting events we have in store to continue building this journey together.

Get In-Touch with Coach K - https://linktr.ee/LifeCoachKayWds

Shop - https://upgradedmindsetz.shop/

Chapters

• 0:00 Empowering Mindset Conversations With Coach K
• 4:54 Building Connections and Community Through Networking
• 14:51 Expanding Networks and Breaking Cliques
• 24:21 Navigating Challenges With Resilience and Focus
• 32:34 Transformation Through Mindset Shifts
• 42:20 Unlearning and Self-Reflection for Transformation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

We scared of that, we scared of them things. So we'll continue to deal with negativity, toxicity, we'll still deal with outdated thinking methods because we are scared of leaving that alone. We not, I'll tell you right now anybody that is ready to encounter that journey. I know you feel like that you're gonna be by yourself, but, baby, you gonna align yourself with some amazing people. Denise, you already know you learning and you learning her baby, and once you get to learning her, hey, I'm just so excited Cause you on a journey. You know what I'm saying, like I'm super excited and happy for you Cause she is definitely on that journey to you and me.

Speaker 2: 0:41

It doesn't matter if you're a wizard, a king or a queen, even if you are magic, you've got to agree it's worth it to talk shit out, no matter how messy shit happens. Shit happens. Hello, hello, hello. And we are back. Right now, we have the one and only the incredible Coach K with me. I hope she's here. I see she's here. So we're going to be discussing incredible shit about mindset. All right, so I'm big on mindset and lately I'm big on mindset switch. So I feel like this is going to be an incredible conversation and I'm looking forward to that. And, um, I was in uh kisha's podcast last year and now she's coming to. Shit Happens, you know. So hopefully good shit happens over here today. I'm going to go ahead and bring Coach K on the stage, because she was hiding somewhere when I came here. Look at her.

Speaker 1: 2:22

What up, what up y'all. Hey, ronna, I'm so sorry. I y'all hey raw and uncut. I am so sorry. Had a client go over baby. You know the grind don't stop. What's poppin' baby.

Speaker 2: 2:35

Look at you looking all clean and shit.

Speaker 1: 2:38

Hey Kenya, look, Get myself situated here I like how we all rocking our jumper match.

Speaker 2: 2:45

Look at us, you know.

Speaker 1: 2:49

Happy New Year, happy 2024. How are you, boo?

Speaker 2: 2:55

Fabulous man, I can't complain.

Speaker 1: 2:59

Hey, let me just say I'm proud of you. Yo, you've been killing shit, sis. You've been crushing it. I'm so damn proud of you. Yo, you've been killing shit, sis, like you've been crushing it. I'm so damn proud of you, man, like when you say unapologetic, living your best life. That's you, boo. I'm so proud of you so proud of you so much.

Speaker 2: 3:18

Thank you so much. But you know it takes a village and it's because I get to surround myself with people who are doing the same thing and showing up as themselves, because normally you know, like me, I'm gonna be told oh, you're too loud, are you? But there are people out there who are showing up just like that and being and being rewarded so when I surround myself in communities that allow me to be myself and just be seen as myself. So y'all are part of my success, like community.

Speaker 1: 3:46

I'm so glad. I'm glad that I met you, I'm glad that we're here. I'm just glad overall. I love it, I love it thank you so much.

Speaker 2: 3:59

Um so what you been up to, how you been I've been good.

Speaker 1: 4:03

2024 has definitely kicked off with a bang, definitely been on the grind, definitely been more community oriented, definitely still showing up here online. But I have been doing a lot of things here locally, doing a little bit of restructuring within the brand. It's been a busy one, but it's been a blessed one and I can't say that I'm stressed, because when we step in and walk it in our purpose baby, ain't no stress behind that? You feel me.

Speaker 2: 4:31

Amen. Even if it's stress, it's the good stress. You know, there's the stress. There's like yo, this is stressful. I fucking love this. This is what I wanted. More of. This is what I wanted. More of this is what I was missing.

Speaker 1: 4:48

So, yes, it's okay if it's stressful, but it's just good stress. It is definitely been so blessed with it, though yo it's been so dope that's amazing.

Speaker 2: 4:54

Just like when I was a port person, I was like I'm exhausted, but not in that exhaustion of, oh my god. Like I'm exhausted in a in a good way, like I'm exhausted with so much of the conversations, the connections, that everything, and. And when I tell you I was tired and I would be looking at it like it's 3 am, I want to go to bed, but I'm also sitting with incredible people. We're just chopping it up and just I'm like I only have four days of this. Why would I go to bed right now?

Speaker 1: 5:21

and they're so you know exactly I'm to enjoy myself and do what I do, like absolutely Like I can sleep when I get home, but I'm going to do what I do right now, like I get it, like I'm so just like, so great about wanting to open up and expand and build and meet new people and be around like-minded. You know, that's why I'm like, hey, I already told myself, next podcast expo I'm there, baby, I'm claiming that. So I am there, because I just seen yours and then like a couple of other people that I started following, you know, and it's like hey, them, my people, it's a vibe.

Speaker 2: 5:58

It's a vibe and I love how much blackness we have this year. I've been going to PortFest for two years. I mean what I love about PortFest it's welcoming and inclusive to everybody. But you know, us black people, we feel like we need to constantly be pushed into come. That's why I keep on telling like yo, you need to come because the space is there and they want you there. So the fact that we were so many this year to the extent that we're like Chris, we need something of ours next year at Puffers. So you got to be there because we are planning a black thing at Puffers next year, I'm there.

Speaker 1: 6:38

I'm there, baby Trust and believe I am there, Like I did. I thought it was so dope, Like, and you know, even with my podcast and just doing everything else too, you know what I'm saying, but like I know, like talking and speaking and bringing resource and value, like that, I get a kick out of that shit. You know what I'm saying. So why not? You know, and it doesn't to me. I don't even look at it from a cultural standpoint anymore because there's people that I have been mingling with and have been engaged and interacted with. The Better Business Bureau here in Heart of Illinois launched their podcast and I was their inaugural episode. You know what I'm saying. So it's like, thank you, you know, like just expanding myself and not limiting you know where or who, you know like that shit was dope as hell to me. So it's like that was confirmation to just saying you know, I'm just going to expand a little bit more and do what I got to do.

Speaker 2: 7:33

So I tell people 2024, I'm all about visibility.

Speaker 1: 7:39

Period. You better talk about it.

Speaker 2: 7:42

And that's why we do live broadcasting these days, because you're gonna see me, you're gonna you're gonna see me, baby and I think that came from, uh, the ego boost I got after this podcast.

Speaker 2: 7:54

This podcast was so rewarding for me and and I'm like, oh my god, I'm in my head thinking I'm this little pawn. But they're actually people over here who are really seeing me and seeing my potential, seeing my growth. But I'm here thinking myself I'm this small, so I'm no longer considering myself in the small box. I'm like I'm out of the box. I'm like Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 8:16

Hey ain't no boxes, we ain't got no boxes. We don't know what boxes is around here, period.

Speaker 2: 8:21

And you would have a time of your life and connect with so many people.

Speaker 1: 8:27

I say to just divide. It looked like a whole vibe. You know what I'm saying? Like it looked like a whole vibe and I'm like I'm not missing that shit next time I refuse.

Speaker 2: 8:36

One of my friends who came all the way from Canada right Cause I was posting him. I was like you just got into the podcast world. You need to come here and meet different people. I was like you know what? I'm just coming because it's Freud, I'm gonna go party and if I catch some shit, cool, because I got a free ticket from bus truck.

Speaker 2: 8:52

This man did not even leave the like apart from the parties we went to at night. Like all of us, he literally did not go into town and do the shit. He said he was enjoying the, the connection, he was enjoying the class, like I would call him, and be like what are you doing? I'm over. He's like yo, man, I'm going to this session because I really want to go. I'm going to this. I'm like oh so what happened to all that shit? You were talking that and then, and then he goes. Man, paula, you were right, I wish I came earlier, because he came on thursday late night. Most of us came on Wednesday, so he started on Friday, but Wednesday night we already had some shit going on. So when he was mingling with people, like, oh yeah, we did this yesterday, we did this. He's like yo, paula, next year. I'm coming from day one Day one Day one.

Speaker 2: 9:40

I don't lie when I find a community which really is about that love and community and connection, I'm going to bring everybody who I want to be a part of it, because I'm not going to bring you some shitty shit. Why would I even be in some shitty shit? Why would you, as you say? Why would you?

Speaker 1: 9:56

be in some shitty shit, that part.

Speaker 2: 9:58

And that's why I post on my stories. Whenever I'm a podcast, I post them on my story so that even for those people who think maybe you know, sometimes people are like maybe she's getting a commission, maybe she's being paid to to to talk this much I just post so that you can get the idea yourself. You can get the idea of the sessions, the parties, the normal chill sessions, like it. It's a bunch of everything, whether you're an introvert, extrovert, whether you like going out, whether you like being inside, whether it there's people for everybody that part.

Speaker 1: 10:29

Yeah, I love it. Though, like I said, you, you look like you had such an amazing time like and I just think that that's so dope and I just can't wait to be at the next one, so it's claimed it's done this year.

Speaker 2: 10:43

I want to do more in person than online, like I want to be a part of all these communities and collaborate. And let me tell you something?

Speaker 1: 10:54

I just talked about this, right, I just had a conversation about how people really just need to start building community, building network, doing more networking in person. I feel like a lot of times, some of us still default to the online, and I get it, you know what I'm saying. Covid made us rely on online. I get it, and I definitely was that person you know what I'm saying Because I didn't want to go outside, I didn't want to do nothing. I had that COVID anxiety, stuff, whatever, but, like I literally just was talking about this last week, like we outside, it's time to plan your events. To plan, you know, community, but also stop having events but also supporting others events as well, because that's how you truly build community.

Speaker 2: 11:42

And that's how you also make intentional connections. Yes, they happen online, but when you meet them in person, you really nurture them. Like, look at me and Leah. We met on the summit right, we showed up at Afros and Arches together and just vibing.

Speaker 1: 11:59

And that is so dope, Like that picture will take you.

Speaker 2: 12:02

You know it's like okay, you really are a real person and I can really fuck with you in person, because online people sometimes they just be online faking it.

Speaker 1: 12:10

Hey, the representatives, the representatives. You know how that go.

Speaker 2: 12:17

I know you guys, you also have an event coming, but I want to talk about that at the end. Shout out to noreen. So we're gonna. We're gonna get into that because I love this. And I was saying, noreen, if I can make it, I will try my best to make it. But because with the moving and everything, but who knows you know, who knows, you know I put it out in the universe and let lord lead me.

Speaker 2: 12:42

Like you know, that's all I can do you said something about pouring into these communities because I also attended Atlanta. Finally, I started bringing back, shout out to Mark Deal Atlanta podcast, which died after doing COVID, and he was also getting overwhelmed because he was doing it by himself. I told him you have a community, a community. I want to build a community. I don't get why Atlanta, we don't have a community and I have to seek community when I go to port fest. So when I go to Afros, I was like I'm willing to help. So we now have a committee and we are, we're gonna everybody's gonna plan like different months, that way it doesn't exhaust. So I'm planning the February one. And it's funny because February started on Thursday, ending on Thursday and my favorite day is on Thursday. So I was like we're going to leave on the 29th and it's a leap year. Right, it's a, it's a lunar, so it feels like a blessing on blessing.

Speaker 2: 13:48

So I am excited to not only put on other communities but also to build and nurture my own community here and I was impressed because the one in January when we all met two days later I saw there was a guy who had a podcast studio and I saw a guy go to his podcast studio to record. So I messaged there and I was like did you guys know each other before you came to the meeting, or was this after the meeting? He's like no after. So that gave me hope, like literally people are meeting and collaborating, so we need this space right, because they wouldn't have met each other if it wasn't there and it was all black people. So you're supporting each other. So that was just like god telling me you gotta do this.

Speaker 1: 14:30

This is a sign we need. This is I don't think people get like I get. We want to, you know, be around those that we know and we want that support from people that we know and you can get that. You know what I'm saying, you can get it. But I started Upgraded Mindsets online during COVID you know what I'm saying. Like 2020, we were on lockdown. I launched Upgraded Mindsets in 2020.

Speaker 1: 14:51

So I was already in the process of building community online, right, and I think people don't realize, because people in my community are like oh, how long have you been doing this? And when I tell them, they're like really, yes, because I started online. I came back to my community. You know what I'm saying. I came back to say, okay, I want to step up, because I've even had my office location for three years, you know. But in the beginning, when I started, I still was online focused. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 15:21

So it was just a matter of saying, okay, I do want to build with community, but what I come across in community and, like I said, y'all know I'm raw and uncut I don't care, but there's too many cliques. You got too many people that want to stay with their friends. You got too many people that just want to build and work with their friends, but what I'm seeing is nobody's building. People are just doing things. What's coming from that? You know what I'm saying. What are you gaining from actually having an event, doing an event? Are you supporting those that want to support you? Like there's just so many different things that I feel like people drop the ball on, like we got to break those clicks.

Speaker 1: 16:00

If we're really wanting to build, then you got to break those clicks and you got to get uncomfortable and step out of that zone and say you know what? This is somebody that I've never really worked with before, um, but I'm going to reach out and ask, not saying that every connection is going to be genuine and work out, but you are yourself, you know, if you don't even make the attempt. You know what I'm saying. Like I have a group of coaches. I actually had the honor of being a speaker at the Black Life Coach Summit down in Raleigh this past June and we had built such an amazing connection online for two years. You know what I'm saying. So, just being able to meet her in person, that is my coach connection, that is my coach tribe, like we talk about so many intimate things together and I'm so grateful for that community and it's only like three or four of us in that community now, but I'm so thankful for it.

Speaker 1: 16:55

You know, but I would have never done that if I would have just said, oh, I'm just going to keep on you know talking to the people that I already know, or you know what I'm saying Like I would have never been able to make that happen and that's a trouble quick.

Speaker 2: 17:06

That's why I stopped even working with with friends or depending on friends. I tell people I network with strangers. That's why I go to all these events and meet new people, because even your friends, they don't take it serious because there's already that friendship. So they're like, oh, I'll show up or we'll get it done when we get it. Again, as you say, you're just doing it but you're not building.

Speaker 2: 17:27

And even when I was at portugal, as much as I was happy to see so many black people, I was like, make sure you don't only mingle with with the black folks. Like there's so many there, there's so much you can get from everybody. I'm not saying don't be with. I mean, I love our black people, but sometimes our as black people, we have this mindset now we only gotta work with each other, we only got you know. And that ends up. And then we also end up saying, oh, they're gatekeeping, but are you trying to get over the gate? So I was like this is for those who I knew I was. I was trying to introduce them to other people. Like you need, like you need to know him. You need to know him Because they have something that they can offer you that you can also take it back to your people.

Speaker 1: 18:12

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 18:13

Because that's how you're going to grow, that's how you're going to learn, that's how you're going to grow it is.

Speaker 1: 18:19

That's the only way that you're going like people feel like and then that's even like. You know me as a coach. You know, listen, I get people are like and you know especially like here locally in my community. I've been in this community for years so there are a lot of people who know the old keisha. You know that. Oh, that know k-dub, which was my teenage and early 20 years, where I was hey, k-dub, that's my nickname, like nickname. So I know people see me and be like well, why would I have her help me? I remember when she used to do this. But if that's the mindset that you have, that's even more reason why you should be working with me, because I don't operate in that mindset anymore. I am not that person. I am completely different. I have transformed everything about me from my mind. The only thing ain't transformed yet is all this booty that they ain't gonna never go nowhere.

Speaker 2: 19:06

You know okay, hey, and it's funny how we literally went into this, because literally I was gonna talk to you about mindset and transform, transformation shift, because, but you see, sometimes you know, you, just you, just I know right, and just to add on that there was one time I was gonna do an event but then I ended up, uh, losing my job and it didn't feel like the right time to do the event. But I hadn't marketed that event, I just put it on event break but. But I didn't post it on social, I created it, I put it there. I put it there in June. The event was supposed to be in December, the first week. That way we end the year nicely and then kind of bring it back.

Speaker 2: 19:54

People look forward to the beginning of the year and it was supposed to be speed networking. So in my head and I only put out 20 tickets, but I wanted, uh, 40 people and the 20 ticket was when you get a ticket you get two tickets. I want you to invite somebody else, because I didn't want us to network the same people, because I knew half of the tickets my friends would probably get them just to come and share support yeah to come and support right.

Speaker 2: 20:21

But I already know you guys, you know I want new people. So my idea was you get a ticket, two tickets, bring somebody else and then in the next year one like when the next event comes, that person you brought bring somebody else. That way we are constantly outgrowing the networking, because otherwise we'll keep on networking just ourselves. Because even these events with my friends, when you go you see the same faces, the same people. You meet you for me, so we're gonna work together. Oh, we have to do something and then nothing yeah, and those are your people.

Speaker 1: 20:57

You know, like I say a lot of times, we have to really get over the somebody's representative and like figure out who they are, because you could talk a good game, but your action is going to show. You know, like, yeah, if I meet you and you tell me that, oh, I'd love to work with you, and then I go to your social media pages and you haven't done anything in like a month and a half, it's clear to say that we're probably never going to work together because you're not working on yourself. You have this, so I'm cool with that. You know the experience was great. You know it was good to talk, chat or whatever else, but we have to get into the thing of vetting people and discovering who people really are. Um, because, even though people will be like, oh, I just post stuff on social media for entertainment. Because, even though people be like, oh, I just post stuff on social media for entertainment.

Speaker 1: 21:44

Some of y'all be capping with that and I think y'all hide behind that, because that's really who you are. Any entrepreneur, any coaches, any podcasters listen, let me tell y'all this Be who you want to be. If you're somebody that only wants to post once a month, be unapologetic about only being a person that wants to post, and own that shit, that's okay.

Speaker 2: 22:04

Own it, that's who you are. Own it, but don't talk about it and just be like listen. I want to work with you, but my social media game is, once a month At least. I already know Okay.

Speaker 1: 22:14

Yeah, I know what I'm dealing with.

Speaker 2: 22:23

Then we will plan something around around that once a month. If I really want to work with you, but I don't want to work with somebody where I'm constantly on social media posting and putting myself out there and you're not doing that. That means you won't put the same energy to your followers. But it's funny. When I did that event I wasn't sure if people were even going to want to come. I already knew my friends were going to show up regardless, but then that shit got sold out within a month. And then I was getting emails, people like, hey, I saw your event, I'm interested, but it's sold out. Is there any way I can get it? Yo, that shit was like. I was like wait, I haven't even promoted this shit. And when I canceled people were so mad like this was such a good idea, I hope you do it again. So last year I didn't do it, but this year, baby, we're bringing that back.

Speaker 1: 23:12

I'm gonna do that.

Speaker 1: 23:13

I'm gonna do that hey, it's a line, you know it's a line now. So you know good and well that it's definitely gonna make it do what it do. So you know, I know what I'm saying. Like, we go through things and even though I know that sometimes things aren't always a positive, I try to turn everything into a positive, whether it that that the action itself may not be positive, but my response is going to be and I think that's sometimes where we fall, you know, fall out.

Speaker 1: 23:43

We're human, you know. We are, you know, vulnerable and we should be, you know. But anything that happens to us, just like you said, you know you lost your job, but, baby, look how you thriving right now, like you is like crushing it in the podcast game right now. You know what I'm saying, but, like you know that this is what you want to do, this is your purpose, this is your passion. And it might be uncomfortable at times, but I tell you what you'll never show it, you'll never show it only when you want to be vulnerable. But when I say you never show it, your actions are showing your resilience of handling things.

Speaker 1: 24:16

You know what I'm saying and I think that that's dope. You know I'm gonna keep telling you I'm proud of your ass, cause that's just what I do, so you know what I'm saying. Like, hey, we've been through it as somebody that lost their job in 2020. I get it, you know what I'm saying, cause I was at a stage in 2020 where I was so unsure about so much Did I want to go back to work? Did I want to find another job, or was I supposed to? You know, trust the process and maybe I trusted that process and three and a half years later, hey, you got the most unapologetic dope ass, life, business and mindset coach that ever touched the streets.

Speaker 2: 24:50

You hear me Speak on it, speak on it, speak on it, and that's the thing right. And that's why I think people are willing to help me, to nurture me and to support me, because, despite all the shit they see me going after like I don't have all the dollars, sometimes I don't even know how I'm paying my rent, but I'm still showing up, I'm still pushing shit, I'm still figuring it out, and that somebody wants to help you. That makes somebody like yo, yo, we see her, we see her grind. Let's point to her. But then if you're really talking about, oh, I really want to do this, this is my passion, I'm going to do it, but then we are not seeing you doing it.

Speaker 2: 25:32

But then you want support. I'm not going to support you. I'm sorry, because I don't see you putting in the work and that's why it's like you got to bet on yourself. Dominique always says this bet on yourself, because the more you keep betting on yourself, people are going to start betting on you. I'm not going to bet on you if you're not betting on yourself. Like clearly you don't believe in yourself, so why should I?

Speaker 1: 25:56

I'm always bet on me, baby. I'm always, even when I'm uncertain. I'm a bet on me, even when I don't know where it's going to go. You know we want to know the resolution and sometimes that's where we fall short. We're not going to always know the journey. We know where we're supposed to start. We know, you know I'm saying we know what we would want to see.

Speaker 1: 26:18

But I think a lot of times we know fear gets in our way. You know what I'm saying. Fear stops us from living our best life and becoming that most unapologetic version of ourselves. But sometimes you got to do a scare. No, ain't no. Sometimes, all the time you got to do a scare, you know, all the time you need to set the intention, set the action plan. You might have some obstacles. You're going to.

Speaker 1: 26:46

You know that's what has allowed me to continue on the journey is the understanding that I'm going to encounter some obstacles. I might encounter a roadblock here and there, but I have strategies in place to help me with those. When that happens and a lot of times people don't have strategies They'll just give up all the way around. Life be life, life be like. If you expect the perfect life, then that's your number one failure as an individual, because life is not perfect. We know that. So, with the expectation of knowing that I'm going to encounter some potential things that might be set to destroy me, I already know I'm going to put this mindset to work and make sure I stay actionable even through those hard times, even because that's what we got to do.

Speaker 2: 27:30

It's amazing. You say that because yesterday, as I just finished doing my lives, I had four lives yesterday. Oh wow, girl, you was killing it. And I have four tomorrow and my podcasting meetup. But that's what I said. I wanted more visibility this year. I wanted discipline, I wanted to build my YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn presence, and this is how I can do it.

Speaker 1: 27:55

So I'm going to do it.

Speaker 2: 27:56

but as I was preparing promos for today, I received a message from my mom that her sister passed away and this is one of my favorite sisters, the firstborn and I instantly started crying and I called my mom and as soon as I had a voice I had to hang up because I knew. I knew I would start crying and I wouldn't get shit done and I knew I had work to do, you think. So I literally hanged up on her and I was like I'll call you in a bit and I continue working. And then, in the moments, I was just like I haven't spoken to my aunt in forever yeah do I even?

Speaker 2: 28:34

do I even have the right to grieve her? Do I even have like?

Speaker 2: 28:38

you know you're questioning that. And then I'm also feeling guilty, like I'm literally working, because I know if I start crying I'm gonna go in that dark hole and and I'm not gonna get shit done. So even today I could have canceled this today. But I was like, no, if I'm sad, I will end up staying in bed the whole day sad and start getting depressed and I might have taken it towards the end of the week. I was like, nope, I did my first life and then I called my mom, I spoke to her, I cried a bit, I laughed.

Speaker 2: 29:09

I was like okay, we are coming back to another life after this life. I'm done until six o'clock when I have another. So I'm like in that time I let myself grieve. But but you know, you, you gotta, you gotta just be like yo. Life is gonna happen and and it's not gonna stop. For me, whether I need to grieve or not, it's not gonna stop. Life is gonna keep going. So I just need to, not to be strong enough, but just to to realize that sometimes you gotta do shit, even when shit is happening you gotta do you like and I get it.

Speaker 1: 29:44

You know, because I tell people all the time, because I'm one of them people, honestly, if I mentally, if I'm not there, I will cut, I will cancel everything. Right. I'm that person because I know, I know my personality, I know how bold I am, I know how unapologetic I am. So I have to realize that I wear that across the board and if mentally I'm just not up for that conversation, I will reschedule, I will cancel. You know accordingly, because I want to make sure that I am being, you know, unapologetic to me because I'm my number one priority. You know what I'm saying. I'm number one on my list and every list that come behind me. Because if I'm my number one priority, you know what I'm saying, I'm number one on my list and every list that come behind me. Because if I'm not pouring into myself like I'm making other people pour into themselves, then it's a mute point. You know how am I coming through as a coach, you know.

Speaker 1: 30:34

But I think that that's also important, but also to not stay in that struggle, right. So I love that. You were like. You know what I'm grieving in between. You know I'm going to get this out, get my emotions out, and I'm going to shake it off and I'm going to bounce back, and I think that's a part of resilience, people don't? There's so many different levels to that. You know, you identified it and you're like you know what. I know that I need to do this and I need to handle this, but I'm going to go ahead and make sure that I get through this and then handle that and then go ahead and keep doing how I do. So I think that that's dope. You got a strategy in place.

Speaker 2: 31:10

When we talk about mindset switch right, and that's because I've been working on my mindset switch lately and I keep on looking at people. You got to switch your mindset, mindset always matters.

Speaker 2: 31:22

And to me me also I would have canceled, like I I cancel sometimes on shit, that when I know I can't give a hundred. But also I looked at it today I only had jamie and you, so I knew those vibes will keep me going because you know, sometimes you need that energy, yeah, in order to. So if it was somebody who was kind of brand new and I really didn't know and I was right that probably I would have been like let's take it on a better day because I don't know your energy. But jamie, she literally made me laugh and sometimes that's what you need when you're grieving, right, you need that laughter. We laughed, we, whatever we talk. And then you, because I know we vibe and I know you're going to incite some insightful thoughts that will help me continue grieving after I get off this call.

Speaker 2: 32:06

So that's why I was like I'm not going to cancel this too, because, yeah, I can, I can work with them right right so it's also choosing who you know, that power, that energy that you need, oh, unlike other people, because other people can drain you. So if it was somebody who I knew, I would have canceled and be like today's not the day what you say, not today, not today, not today, yeah, and you're right, like um, and it is.

Speaker 1: 32:34

It does boil down to mindset. Uh, mindset is everything, mindset over everything. Like I, I can't tell people enough how shifting how I thought about things and what I do about how I think about things has been so detrimental in me becoming this person that I am today. Because me shifting my mindset has enabled me to become a lifelong learner. Before I was in that restricted state of mind that, oh, I know everything. Oh, you can't tell me nothing, I'm always right who I know everything. Oh, you can't tell me nothing, I'm always right who I'm always right. Like you can't tell me nothing. But now I am open-minded to listen. I am open-minded for constructive criticism, because if somebody tried to tell me something before baby, you can't tell me shit.

Speaker 2: 33:17

We talked about constructive criticism. We would do stuff and he'd give us that constructive criticism. We both used to have an issue with that, but I can't believe it has already been 35 minutes Like where is time going with you? But before our time comes to an end, right, you talked about when you had your mindset changed. So I want people to know, for those people who are having a hard time switching their mindset and I think for me, I feel like most people have that issue because people don't want to unlearn what they know. Yeah, you know, and that's the tough part, because I had to unlearn a lot of shit when I started working on myself and switching my mindset and and then you have to be open-minded, but some people are stuck on their ways, like you can tell you know, like our, those people grew up on AOL, trying to get them to move to Xfinity and they're like no, I'm going to stick to my AOL.

Speaker 2: 34:09

Man, listen, it's fine, I don't need a mobile phone, hey.

Speaker 1: 34:15

It's so, ooh, girl, you're so.

Speaker 2: 34:20

How did you get to the point where you allowed that transformation to happen, where you, you, you allowed to have that mindset switch and and unlearn yourself?

Speaker 1: 34:33

and and it gives me goosebumps every time I talk about it because it was such a critical moment for me. Um, but it was 2020. March of 2020 was when I was just so mentally frustrated and we suppress emotions, we suppress so many things and I lived a life of that. I did that for years, but I thought, oh OK, as long as I keep putting everybody else before me, I'll get my blessings that way. I no longer think like that. That is no longer my mindset and I know a lot of people still feel that way. Oh, I'll get my blessings if I just keep, you know, helping and helping and helping. But why are you not helping you? And I wasn't helping me, and I was to the point where I was angry. All the time I was frustrated Like you could have dropped the piece of paper in front of me, sis, and I would have snapped on your ass Like you was trying to kill me. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 35:23

But that was all from those suppressed emotions that we act like don't affect our day to day life, but it affects the hell out of us and I was tired of it and, with the uncertainties of COVID at the time, my emotions just got the better of me and I hit that low and I was like you know what? It's time to make some changes. And I actually took a 30 day fast from social media in April of 2020. Yep, at a time where that's all we knew. I had to step away from that because mentally, I was drained, I was exhausted, I couldn't do it anymore and I journaled for 30 days, every day. I talked about what was going on on the line at the time. I was still working full time then, so I was talking about the uncertainties at work and I just that first 30 days was so critical. So I will just tell people when you are tired, when you know you're tired and you're across that bed crying because you're tired. You know what I'm saying. That is your key and that is your signal, your sign to say it's time to make some changes Now. Nothing's going to happen overnight, but, like you said I love the word you said unlearning. You are unlearning things.

Speaker 1: 36:38

Listen, the values of your parents and your grandparents may not be the values of you at this present day, and it's okay. Yep, you were raised this way. You were raised to believe this. You've got to figure out who you are right now, in 2024. Who are you at this moment If you struggle with those same values that you did when you were five, six, 13, 18,?

Speaker 1: 37:01

You've got to figure yourself out. It's the season of self-discovery people, and self-discovery means you've got to figure out who you are, what you want, what your values, what your beliefs are. And it might not be the same, it could be, but you still got to figure that out. And that's a part of the whole mindset transformational journey, because your mind is going to do what you tell it. So, if you're telling it, it's time for me to get uncomfortable and figure out who I am, as an individual, as a person, as a woman, as a man. I'm on that journey. Your mind is going to be there and it's going to be rough, but you're reconditioning, you're realigning, you're refocusing. All of those things are so critical, but I challenge you to take that step and I challenge you to do it because the journey is so necessary.

Speaker 1: 37:50

Y'all, I am living the best life ever. I'm not rich, you know what I'm saying but because I'm trusting the process, I have been blessed because I am striving to be the most empowering version of myself. Everything is aligning itself to make that happen and it never would have started if I did not get tired in March of 2020. So, figure out when you're tired. Once you know you're tired, that journey necessary and I'm super proud of myself because I told people I was going to be a coach and they looked at me like I was crazy. And I currently have clients in eight different States, not to mention here locally in my community. I have my podcast, I have my online store, I'm a multi you know, business owner and I never would have been that if I would have listened to the naysayers and listened to the people like what, who?

Speaker 2: 38:42

Ma'am, ma'am, you're also Amazon bestseller.

Speaker 1: 38:46

Hey, let's talk about the Amazon bestselling author. Come on, thank you, thank you, sis, thank you Appreciate it, you know. But just, yes, like, turn that journal into an Amazon bestselling book, like all of that. You know what I'm saying? Just that. And have my own another guide that I put out the journey to activate our best life. It is a self-discovery guide to help you figure out who you are. All of these things are on my online store. There's other resources over there clothing, positive reinforcement, like hoodies, all of that. Everything to promote positivity, promote motivation, promote everything that it is for us to be the best versions of ourselves. And I love who I am and I love who I'm still becoming. You know, oh, look like we might've lost her there, but I will tell y'all this, okay, nope, nope, I was going to go ahead and take it covering for you, sis, don't worry.

Speaker 2: 39:42

I forgot to put do not disturb when my mom was calling.

Speaker 1: 39:45

Oh my gosh hey, shit happens, it is what it is.

Speaker 2: 39:49

I mean, we have no. Shit happens right, shit does happen. Shout out to Denise Lewis on the comments who said I'm on that journey. You go girl, you go baby. I'm proud of you. You're going to go through. It's going to be the hardest journey, but such a rewarding and beautiful journey. That journey, you go girl, you go baby. I'm proud of you. You love it. It's going to be the hardest journey, but such a rewarding and beautiful journey Because there's nothing about. I think that's also why people don't want to work on themselves, because you really get to learn yourself the bad, the good we scared of that, we scared of them things.

Speaker 1: 40:24

So we'll continue to deal with negativity, toxicity, we'll still deal with outdated thinking methods because we are scared of leaving that alone. We not, I'll tell you right now anybody that is ready to encounter that journey. I know you feel like that you're gonna be by yourself but're going to align yourself with some amazing people. Denise, you already know You're learning and you're learning her baby and once you get to learning her, hey, I'm just so excited because you're on a journey. You know what I'm saying. I'm super excited and happy for you because she is definitely on that journey. Excited and happy for you because she is definitely on that journey.

Speaker 2: 40:59

Even me, because I started my journey as well during COVID in 2020. When I look at myself, where I was 2020 and how I am here, if I hadn't done the work to really learn myself, I wouldn't have found the community that actually accepts me. For me, I don't have to show up as somebody. I don't have to hide out. I don't have to show to to show up as some, somebody. I don't have to hide out. I don't have to be afraid of being me. I want an award.

Speaker 2: 41:25

I have a podcast, people are calling me to have me. I've been on panels, I want a guinness. None of that shit would have happened. And also because I I, I was like yo. I need a mindset switch. We are constantly putting negative shit in our head or telling ourselves no, I tell my friends these days, if you really want something, I don't want to hear you say maybe when I get this, say when I get this, Because even God is not going to give it to you, because that child is not sure if she wants it or not. So why should I bless her?

Speaker 1: 41:55

Hey, y'all got to stop saying them prayers and you're not taking the action after them. Prayers I'm not saying because I am definitely a believer and I'm definitely more spiritually inclined in the last year. I have gotten there. But let me tell y'all something Stop talking about y'all trusting God and y'all believe in God when y'all not talking about it and you're not letting him do what he got to do and you're not letting him do what he got to do and you're not taking the actions to make it happen. Behind that and I said what I said Okay, period.

Speaker 2: 42:22

It takes faith and walk. You gotta have faith that God got you. And sometimes we say we have faith, we prayed on it, but we're still worrying on it.

Speaker 1: 42:34

How you have faith God got you when you're worrying about that shit that you just prayed, or you still allowing the same shit that God just showed you over and over again that you need to eliminate?

Speaker 2: 42:43

Stop blocking your blessings. Sometimes we are the ones blocking our blessings.

Speaker 1: 42:46

We're always the one blocking our blessings.

Speaker 2: 42:49

I wanted to touch on the unlearned part right, and I feel like most people are scared about that, because most of us who grew up right we will all the things we learned we learned from our parents or grandparents. This is good, this is bad, but as we are growing up right now, even some of us, our parents are also working on themselves. They finally got to the point.

Speaker 1: 43:10

My mom is 75 years old and she's working on herself. But you know why? Because I'm working on myself.

Speaker 2: 43:17

And you're having those conversations and they're learning that they were also wrong. That was not right. So that's why it is so important to literally work on yourself and have this mindset switch, because it opens you to a different world, a world that you're actually going to be seen and you're going to win. The reason you're not winning or being seen is because of that mindset that you have. You are now outdated.

Speaker 1: 43:43

I call it outdated thinking. You're an outdated thinking method. It's the outdated mindset. You've got to figure out who you are. You've got to figure out what your beliefs and values are, and you got to be unapologetic in figuring that out. You are going to lose people along the lines, y'all. You are going to lose friendships. You may lose relationships, you may even no longer associate with certain family members, but them sacrifices are necessary, and I don't even say I got to be behind it.

Speaker 2: 44:12

They will not want to be there for your mental health and it heals your mental health. I'm not going to say your anxiety or depression is gonna go away. No, it's gonna be less, because now you have a clear sense of who you are, what you want and you have a clear sense of the support that you actually need. That's gonna help you walk through this journey with you. The reason we get depressed or anxiety or all that is because we are trying to be what we really aren't.

Speaker 1: 44:42

You better talk about it that struggle real, you try to fit. You trying to be something that you know good and well, you struggling with. You try to do something that you know is having an adverse effect. You trying to do stuff that you know is having an adverse and a negative effect on you. We got to stop punishing ourselves like that. We're not supposed to accept things that cause us negativity, that cause us havoc, that cause us frustration. We are not supposed to deal and we're not supposed to accept it. I don't care who it is.

Speaker 1: 45:11

I had that conversation with my entire family. I sat them down and said, listen, I'm to the point mentally in 2020, I had sat them down and said, listen, I'm to the point mentally in 2020, I had set them down and said, listen, I'm to the point mentally where I'm not ready to hurt somebody or myself. And it got to that point. And I know it's so many of us especially women, I know, and men too, because I have been talking and conversing with more men here lately. You know I'm trusting my process in that.

Speaker 1: 45:38

But we got to stop holding stuff back. We got to stop suppressing our emotions. You ain't being confrontational by getting your emotions out. You're not trying to be messy and drama field, because you want to express your emotions. We should be able to do that, and I'm not going to be around. Anybody that feels like me saying something to you about how I feel. Is me coming to you with drama or being negative and stuff like that. No, I'm ready to have a conversation with you. But that's all evolved with a reconditioned mind and that's all involved with the journey that I have been on the last three and a half years and I teach my clients how to do the same thing and they love me for it. But I'm still Keisha. I'm still me. I still talk shit.

Speaker 2: 46:26

I'm still hey, I'm still that person and I think that the idea we have that the life we live is supposed to be what it is. You work, you get married, you have a house, you have kids and you just keep on working. Hey, baby, that's the good thing about working on yourself you learn that it's okay to live a different life, it's okay to want bigger things, or even if you want smaller things, whatever life you want that brings you happiness and peace, you can have it. You just need to go out there and get it.

Speaker 1: 47:02

Straight like that.

Speaker 2: 47:03

Now we are coming up to an hour, so I want to make sure people know about the event that you got coming up?

Speaker 1: 47:09

Oh yes, absolutely, I have two. So this Saturday, february 10th, I actually am a guest speaker at the second annual galentine's date event here in peoria, illinois. Um, I definitely am super excited about that. It is a sneaker ball, so I don't want got me some little bling shoes. I think I'm gonna be cute. Saturday well, I don't know if it's still tickets available for that. I know I got some of my followers watching, so if you're peoria illinois, you can check out my website and see if there's still tickets available. I'm not in charge of those tickets, but I will tell y'all.

Speaker 1: 47:43

Renewing our resilience like March 16th Listen me and my girl, noreen of Save Our Sisters. This is our second annual event we had. We do it in honor of Women's History Month and this year we felt like renewing our resilience. Managing life after loss. We know that so many people have dealt with loss in so many different ways from death to jobs, to finances, divorce, relationships, family. You know just so many different levels of loss and we all want to come together, bond, build from that and create a supportive community based off of that.

Speaker 1: 48:23

We are going to have full lunch available. We have women vendors that are going to be in the house. We are doing a panel stylist myself, noreen Erica Bayard and Philanda James. She's the president of NAMI Tri-County here in Illinois. That's the National Alliance of Mental Illness. We are going to have, like, mental awareness resources, mental health resources. It's just going to be so many things going on there. I'm super geeked about it. Tickets are on sale on Eventbrite, y'all, and, like I said, if you are here in Peoria and you're catching this live, you can definitely stop by.

Speaker 2: 49:05

If you're not familiar with Eventbrite, I can go ahead and take care of that ticket for you here at my office at 2104 West Moss here in West Peoria. So that's an event I want to. I'm working on making shit happens.

Speaker 1: 49:14

I say the worst is, you say the word and it's up, baby.

Speaker 2: 49:18

But also let the people know about UPM Switch.

Speaker 1: 49:21

Absolutely so. Upm is a resource hub that I have with my co-owners and it is a resource center for personal and entrepreneurial development. We also have other small businesses in UPM. We have our brow and lash tech that actually got me together today, you know, being able to have that in-house. We have another business owner that carries custom-made jewelry and organic skin and hair care products. We also have small rental spaces that are available. We have a suite available actually as well, but we are just here to, you know, build community within UPM, but also make resources available. We do business cards, we do posters, banners. We create all of those things for you. So only thing I can tell you is to just go check out the website upmsuitesilcom. You'll see everybody that's in there, some of the products we have, and it's just. You know, I just love being here because we are a family here at UPM as well, and, you know, building that community, too, is just so dope to me.

Speaker 2: 50:23

I love that. I love that Now, before we go, leave an advice for somebody out there who's looking to transform their life, but they don't know how or where to start, because sometimes that can be hard right. Trying out, like where do I start? Do I just pray to God? Do I go into? Do I go into the river and and right come back and I'm divorced. Like where, where do?

Speaker 1: 50:51

I go, so I will say this um, really, just start sitting down and just self-reflecting. Think about the things that are causing you stress. Think about people, places, things. I say this write a letter to yourself. Right, if you are truly ready to begin the journey of self-discovery, mindset transformation and becoming your most unapologetic self, then it's time to write that letter to self, and you need to write everything that you know. That has been good, bad ugly. I did that in 2020 and my letter was six pages long, but when I tell you, it was the most freedom-minded thing that I could have done. Oh my God, y'all. It was so exhilarating just to be able to put that out there, because what it does is it takes it out your mind and it puts it on paper.

Speaker 1: 51:49

So now you're, able to get a sense of clarity about where it is that you want to go moving forward. Get you some resources together. Start asking yourself those uncomfortable questions, those questions that you're running from. It's time to start answering those questions. You can talk to yourself and you can answer back. You're not crazy. Okay, get some resources. If you need to talk to a counselor, be okay with that. We are not crazy. We are breaking that stigma y'all.

Speaker 1: 52:15

If you feel like you need to talk to somebody because your mind is racing 80 miles an hour, go talk to somebody about it. You're not crazy. If anything, be proud because you are taking the steps to become the more empowering version of yourself, and that's so necessary. But start with self. Start figuring out what your energy zappers are, because it's going to be a journey, it's going to be a process. It's a process and journey. That's necessary, and don't put a time on it right now until you start that self-discovery journey and then you can start setting those things. But just be intentional in saying that I'm going to put in the work to make it happen.

Speaker 2: 52:56

I love that. Thank you very much for sharing and talking to to me and you can talk forever and ever. You know we, we, we go it and you know you always welcome back to.

Speaker 1: 53:05

shit happens anytime, cause we just have all these conversations, absolutely, y'all, don't forget to tune in to a power and real talk.

Speaker 2: 53:12

I was about to tell you that the people know where they can find you, where they connect what. Let the people know where they can find you, where they connect what you're all about. This is the time to brag and sell yourself.

Speaker 1: 53:21

So, yeah, I have two. My Instagram is CoachKayWDS, or Empowering Real Talk, which you can follow both of those. Facebook is CoachKayWoods. You can just pretty much hashtag CoachKayWoods and you will definitely find me. But my websites are UpgradedMindsetslife, if you're interested in learning more about the services and products that I offer. Upgradedmindsetsshop, the Empowered Real Talk podcast streams on YouTube, apple, spotify it's pretty much everywhere. I'm just dropping some raw and uncut conversations, but those are the conversations that are necessary. These are things to help us grow personally, professionally, entrepreneurially, whatever it is you want to do. You will definitely get some value and insight from Empowering Real Talk, so go ahead and follow me over there. I generally follow back, unless you a spam bot, but other than that, go ahead and follow your girl and I definitely will follow back. So I definitely just appreciate being here, sis, like you've been so dope, like you such a great host, and I just love talking shit with you, you know always, always right back.

Speaker 2: 54:24

I love it, and so thank you all for who joined. Um, thank you to Denise, Michelle and hey, you want the comments? Uh, chopping it up. We love it when people on the comment, so shit happens. We just have raw discussions on shit, you know.

Speaker 2: 54:41

On shit yeah and today was mindset. So I hope you all learned something about transforming your lives and your mindset switch and you go do some shit with that. Okay Period Until then. I'll catch you all next time and, by the way, go follow our podcast. Go listen to it If you want to listen to us more. I was on our podcast last year.

Speaker 1: 55:02

Check out our episode. We definitely own there, baby on YouTube and everything. Go check us out.

Speaker 2: 55:07

And whoever can attend those events. Please go support. The whole point of this event is for the community to empower and support. So if you're looking for communities, you gotta be there. So showing up is important, just like how you showed up on these comments. Go show up period let's get it.

Speaker 1: 55:41

Shit, shit happens, shit, shit, shit, shit happens.

Speaker 2: 55:51

Shit happens, shit happens, shit, shit happens, shit happens, shit happens.