S9E8 - Love, Loss, and Healing: A Journey on Resilience and Advocacy Through Misdiagnosis, Cancer, and Creating Blue Couch Chat!! #ShitHappens

A single diagnosis turned Shannon's world upside down, and it all began with a shocking phone call about suspicious spots on her liver. What followed was a whirlwind of emotions and a decade-long journey through misdiagnosis, severe symptoms, and the pursuit of education in Jamaica, all while grappling with the fear of a potential liver metastasis. Amidst this personal health saga, she found solace in the unwavering support of loved ones and the invaluable lesson of listening to her own body. These trials and tribulations underscore the critical importance of self-care and the power of advocacy when faced with medical adversities.

Life with an ostomy bag and cancer was a struggle Shannon never anticipated, yet humor became a saving grace. Her candid reflections on living with an ostomy, coupled with an amusing anecdote from a campaign rally for President Obama, reveal the unexpected ways laughter can be found in life's toughest moments. This chapter of Shannon's journey, marked by initial shock and eventual acceptance, highlights the resilience required to maintain quality of life amidst medical challenges. Moreover, it illustrates the transformative power of relationships, particularly the deepened bond with her mother as they weathered these storms together.

Honoring the legacy of Lee Silverstein, Blue Couch Chat was born out of a desire to create a platform for authentic storytelling within the African descent community. Inspired by Lee's encouragement and supported by the Podfest community, this venture aims to raise awareness and inspire others facing similar health battles. With gratitude for the connections formed and the support received, Blue Couch Chat is dedicated to continuing meaningful conversations that embrace resilience, celebrate life's gifted time, and recognize the strength gained from overcoming adversity. Join me for a heartfelt exploration of the human spirit and the relentless pursuit of dreams.

Chapters

• 0:00 Misdiagnosis and Medical Crisis
• 13:49 Struggling With Ostomy Bag and Cancer
• 20:28 Overcoming Cancer and Embracing Life
• 25:46 Defying Odds and Pursuing Dreams
• 39:28 Launching Blue Couch Chat in Honor
• 48:56 Blue Couch Chat With Shannon Lee
• 59:59 Inspiring Conversations With Shannon Lee

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

and I looked at her and I'm like what the fuck are you talking about? And my mom it was like everybody held their breath in the room for a second, it was like time stopped for a second. And she said you have spots on your liver that are suspicious for metastasis, which we knew I had a high chance for right Now. I know how high. And she said you need to cancel your trip. We need to do a biopsy right right Now, I know how high. And she said you need to cancel your trip. We need to do a biopsy right away. And I looked at my mom and the doctor left the room so me and my mom could talk. And my mom didn't say anything. And I'm like, mom, I'm going to call Sean Johns real quick. So I called my friend and I'm like, hey, sean. He's like what's up girl? How's the doctor appointment going? I'm like, um, so about that, no matter how messy shit happens.

Speaker 2: 1:20

Shit happens, shit happens. Just FYI, this episode was recorded February of 2024 and it is now February of 2025. But with February being a month of love, self-care and self-love are very important, and health and wellness are a big part of self-care and self-love. So I hope you learned something from this episode. Also, it's one year since we lost Lee Silverstein. We lost Lee last year on Valentine's Day and this episode was recorded right after we lost him. So here's to one year in heaven, lee. You will miss that Podfest, but your presence was felt because you were represented well on and off stage. We miss you, we love you and here's to celebrating you always.

Speaker 3: 2:28

Enjoy everybody, hello, hello welcome back to another Shit Happens session. Oh my God, this person I'm going to be having a very hurtful conversation with is my soul sister. I love this girl to death and I'm so proud of her and what she has achieved in in the last two weeks. Um, and we're going to talk about that, so let me go ahead and bring on shannon to the stage. Stay Bye-bye. Welcome to Talk Shit with P. You know I love talking shit. Welcome to Shit Happens. I keep forgetting that this is Shit Happens, but it is part of Talk Shit with P. So, either way and yes, you do like talking shit, so you're right where you need to be.

Speaker 1: 3:23

I am because shit happens and I love talking about it. So it works.

Speaker 3: 3:27

You know, shit happened to me, so yeah, shit happened to you because, baby, you were misdiagnosed for several years.

Speaker 1: 3:36

Like what the fuck yeah 12 years I had symptoms, um, from when I was 17 went to my pediatrician. I I have a stomach ache every day. I'm having blood in my stool. The water was literally red, bright red water in the toilet and he said, oh, you probably have an ulcer, Take some antacids. He actually said Zantac, which we know isn't good for us anyway now, but that was in 1999 and the symptoms just got worse and worse over the years and then it got to the point where it was so persistent that I had to be like there is definitely something wrong. Somebody is missing something. This is not just heavy periods, this isn't cysts, this isn't a bladder infection, this isn't hemorrhoids. This has got to be something. And yeah, it took another. I was in Jamaica doing my bachelor's at the time and I'd go to the emergency room and get doped up on morphine for the pain. Not that I was a drug addict, but I would literally be doped up on morphine and go straight to class and I don't know how I got through it.

Speaker 1: 4:45

I finished my final year, I did my. I was actually admitted into the hospital when I had to do my final project for the end of school, for my final year, and I did my final project while in the hospital. I was anemic, severely anemic, I could. I was out of breath, just walking a few steps and I had a fever of 103. They wanted to do a blood transfusion in Jamaica, which is really risky anywhere, but especially there. And I said, why? And they're like oh, probably your heavy periods, and I'm like I'm eating healthier than ever. How could my heavy periods cause me to be this anemic, where you want to do a blood transfusion which is supposed to be a life-saving measure? And they couldn't answer me and I said if I'm anemic and I have a fever, then that tells me that I have an infection. And they were like oh, you probably just picked up a bug in the hospital. So I got out of the hospital, my mom came to help me pin up my work and for the presentation I didn't stay for the presentation. So my work and you know, for the presentation I couldn't even I didn't stay for the presentation, so my work just had to speak for itself and I was like I pray I pass so I can graduate.

Speaker 1: 5:56

And I flew up to Miami for what was a 20 something opinion. By then I'd seen so many doctors in Jamaica and came up here and couldn't get, didn't have insurance and there were no here and couldn't get, didn't have insurance and there were no appointments with the public clinic until like six months out and no doctor would see me without insurance. And one day I just felt like I felt my energy leaving my body. I can't really explain what I felt. It wasn't pain I mean, I had pain, pain before like really bad pain where I felt like an alien was trying to rip its way out of me. This wasn't that. It wasn't pain. It was like I literally just felt like I was fading. You know, like, yeah, and I went to my mom and I said, mom, I'm either going to have really high medical bills, which is what I was trying to avoid, or you're going to be paying for my funeral.

Speaker 1: 6:45

And we went to the emergency room that was Wednesday, June 17th and they did an ultrasound, said I had cysts and sent me home, Didn't admit me. And then, two days later, my mom came home from work and I was. My stomach was distended, not even bloated. It was like she said, I looked like a dead frog. You know how dead frogs their stomach? Yeah, she said like my stomach was like out there, just bloated and hard, and my skin was turning orange. And I was in such bad pain at this time that my eyes were just weeping and I couldn't even cry, I couldn't sob, my jaws were locked with the pain and she said we're going back to the emergency room. And she said I don't care if they call the police on me, we are going to stay there until we get answers.

Speaker 1: 7:33

And I went to that same hospital a very small hospital here in Miami that's part of the public health system. They did an ultrasound Again I'd had like 20 ultrasounds done in the past like two years. Again I'd had like 20 ultrasounds done in the past like two years saw no cysts. And so they said let's do a CT. And when they did the CT, I had an abscess in my abdomen about this big and had a hundred cc's of fluid in it which is almost like a water bottle, and I had E coli and five other bacteria in my bloodstream. I was in sepsis and my body was shutting down, Ended up in ICU, had to finally get the blood transfusion.

Speaker 1: 8:09

I didn't have a choice at that point. It was a life-saving measure and I had six doctors on my case and they were like, well, we want to do surgery. And I'm like, okay. And they're like, but we can't do surgery. And I'm like, if you have six doctors who want to do surgery, why can't you do surgery? They're like, well, the surgeon doesn't want to do surgery. And I'm like, why doesn't the surgeon want to do surgery? Because surgeon makes money when you do surgery. So they said, the surgeon saw my chart, saw that I was a single 29-year-old female with no children, and he did not want me to end up with an ostomy.

Speaker 1: 8:50

The surgery was very risky because of the fact that I had been in sepsis and I could bleed out on the table. So he decided that the best way looking out for me would be to treat the infection, get the inflammation down and then do a colonoscopy, which is far less invasive, far less risky. But that infection kept on coming back every month over four months and finally the fourth time. He was just like we can't get you to the colonoscopy, you keep getting this infection. This is life-threatening. We need to figure out what's going on. At this point they were finally looking in the right area. They were saying it was probably diverticulitis, Crohn's colitis, um, they were even looking to see if I had some kind of parasite. Um, I mean, they were looking at everything under the sun. It was like an episode of house, how they were trying to like solve the problem. You know, like I really felt like I was in an episode of doctors. Can one person have on their case, right?

Speaker 3: 9:50

At that point you're like can I have doctor house?

Speaker 1: 9:54

Well, my doctors all of my doctors were like having a doctor house. They were so amazing and we. They were funny and they really cared about me and they were invested. And they were funny and they really cared about me and they were invested and they really wanted to save my life and find out what the problem was. So I was really blessed at that point that I finally had doctors who not only listened but wanted to figure out what the F was going on, when nobody could figure it out. And so at this point he said we're going to have to do surgery. So I went into surgery the night.

Speaker 1: 10:25

He loved working overnight. That's why we're best friends, cause he I'm a night owl, as you know I don't sleep and he would come into my room at two o'clock in the morning and just flip the light on and be like what are you doing up? And I'm like, what are you doing here? He's bright eyed and bushy tailed. I'm like, okay, dude has issues. So we went into my surgery Saturday night because that's what? Not Saturday night, but it was October 4th, that's when he does his best work and what was supposed to be a 45 minute exploratory surgery ended up being over 10 hours of a life-saving surgery where he under for 10 hours. It was under for at least 10 hours, yeah.

Speaker 1: 11:05

So he opened me up and he found cancer. Luckily he didn't do it laparoscopic, or I probably wouldn't be here. He found cancer. He found colon cancer, stage three C. When he opened me up he thought it was stage four because I looked so bad inside.

Speaker 1: 11:23

I was such a mess, he said. He said my insides were falling apart like wet newspaper. When he would pick up my intestines it would just. He took a foot of my colon and in that foot I had between 15 and 20 polyps at 29, as a perfectly healthy young woman, and he cleaned me up and he closed me up and a week later my mom asked the doctors to not tell me about my diagnosis until I was lucid.

Speaker 1: 11:53

It took me a week to come out of all the pain meds because I was under severe pain and all of the anesthesia, that fog. It took me a week to be lucid again and coherent and not be hallucinating. And finally, the first thing that I remember is I had my doctor sit down on my bed, put his hand on my knee and he said so you know, we did surgery. And I'm like, yeah, I remember that, I remember that. And he was like well, and he was taking a really long time to tell me what the F he had to tell me, paula, like he was going so effing slow. I'm like, oh my God, I am effing dying.

Speaker 3: 12:38

You're like just get with it.

Speaker 1: 12:46

He's like so you know, we did surgery.

Speaker 3: 12:48

And I'm like, yeah, and he's like, well, we opened you up and I'm like yeah isn't that something you need to do in order to do surgery?

Speaker 1: 12:56

open me up and then he was like and then it was like, once he got to that point, it all went like fast after that, like he couldn't even get it out fast enough. And he was like well, yeah, stage three, see adenocarcinoma of your colon, your T1, M0, da-da-da-da-da one, whatever. And then he was like so I heard he's like so you basically have colon cancer. That's what adenocarcinoma of the colon is. I'm like I he's looking at me like I'm weird, but I'm just like I thought I was going out of my mind. Like when you're in pain and you're sick and you're having diarrhea and constipation and you're throwing up and you're nauseous all the time, and then you're tired all the time and doctors can't find out what's wrong with you so you're just excited that there's an answer Finally.

Speaker 1: 13:49

I was so relieved I was like well, at least now I know what the fuck I'm fighting. It's not some alien in my body that I think is there and nobody's seeing. You know what I mean. I'm like okay.

Speaker 3: 13:59

How cool would it have been if an alien was inside your body trying to take over your body. That would have been. If an alien was inside your body trying to take over your body, that would have been so cute.

Speaker 1: 14:08

But technically that's kind of what cancer is, right. I mean, when you really think about it, that kind of is what cancer is, just on a microscopic scale. That's how I looked at my cancer, like I was fighting this invisible alien in my body trying to kill me. And at least now I knew what the F I was dealing with. I knew I wasn't crazy. But here's the next part. He then said cause? Then I was like okay, god, we got this. It's going to be one heck of a fight, but I know we're going to get through this. That was my thought. I was good. I was good. You know, I was a little shocked but I was good. And then he said and you have an ostomy. And that's when my entire world fell apart because I did not know how I was going to deal with it. He wanted me to look at it and he pulled up my gown for me to look at it and I cried and I threw up.

Speaker 3: 15:02

What does that mean? You have an ostomy?

Speaker 1: 15:08

Yeah, because I don't know what the fuck it is and I don't want to pretend like I do, okay, well, I appreciate that and I'm glad that I can. You know, a lot of people don't know and there's a really big stigma about it, which is why I couldn't cope with it, and I wish that what we have now in social media existed in 2011, because now I see people living with it young, younger than me and they're fine, and if I had seen that then I would have dealt better. But what actually happened to me was he cut. You know, your colon is shaped like an upside down, you right, and you have what is ascending, coming from your small intestine up to your transverse, which goes across horizontal, and then you have your descending and then it curves like this and goes down to your rectum right. So what happened to me was my cancer was actually in my descending colon, pretty close to my rectum, and if it was a rectal cancer diagnosis, my prognosis would have been a lot worse, so I'm blessed in that. So what he did was he actually removed my entire descending colon and because of the fact that he didn't know if my margins were clear, and also the fact because I was so inflamed he couldn't reattach me, he had to give me time for my colon to heal.

Speaker 1: 16:20

So what then happens is they stitch closed the end of my rectum, the top part of my rectum. They stitch that close, they staple that closed and then that part of my colon that's coming across, they pull that out through my abdomen. And so when they pull that out through my abdomen, they split a split and so you literally have a little ending. It looks like your tongue. It literally looks like your tongue. It literally looks like your tongue. It's called a colostomy. There's also an ileostomy, but that's where you poop through. So you stick a bag onto your stomach and you poop into that bag. So from your reaction you can imagine how hard that was for me.

Speaker 3: 17:00

So you would have a poop bag. I had a poop bag, I touched it. I had a poop bag.

Speaker 1: 17:04

I touched it. I had a bag of shit. Yes, I had a bag of shit and I actually to help me, you're going to love this part I told you I love talking shit. You're going to love this part. To help me cope with it. I decided to give it a name and I had an ex-boyfriend at the time who I had really loved. We lived together and his first name was Andrew. But I have a cousin named Andrew, so I didn't want to name my shit bag Andrew, so I gave it his middle name and his middle name was Hassani. So I called my bag Hassani and people would ask me why the name Hassani? That's such an unusual name and I'm like I named my bag of shit after a bag of shit.

Speaker 3: 17:41

Shout out to Hassani. So how long did you have the poop bag for?

Speaker 1: 17:48

shit after a bag of shit. So how long did you have the poop bag for? I had it almost a year and a half. I had it for almost a year and a half. Um, my surgeon wanted it to be permanent and it really affected my quality of life in a really bad way and it made me not able to enjoy my life. It controlled every aspect of my life, from when I ate, when I showered. I had actually had a blowout. We call it a blowout when it blows up and like explodes with poop. I had a blowout in my sleep in my mom's friend's bed in New York on a road trip. I also had a blowout at a campaign rally for President Obama. I was literally six feet away from him. I was right next to the stage because I was a volunteer on his campaign.

Speaker 3: 18:31

And I had a glow. You shitted on Obama.

Speaker 1: 18:36

Well, almost I shitted myself in front of Obama. He just didn't know, yeah. So I had to run out and leave. I had shit on my shirt and I had to cover it up with some materials get some campaign materials and and leaving out of curiosity, did your shit stink like when it blew up?

Speaker 3: 18:54

like how was the smell?

Speaker 1: 18:56

it smells really, really bad when the bag leaks. It is awful, it is awful and it is the hardest part of having an ostomy when that happens. Yeah, I mean it's funny after it happens, but while you're going, through it.

Speaker 3: 19:15

Uh, I'm pretty sure it took you also a long time before you actually started laughing at that shit, like you and them.

Speaker 1: 19:21

I actually really did have a poop bag, like you know I didn't, I didn't laugh at it until I didn't have it anymore so out of curiosity, because I know that can definitely affect your mental health.

Speaker 3: 19:36

I mean, you know, you, you're a pretty woman and at 29 that's like the other time, like you know, you're about to be 30, you're in there, you're in there. So to have that, how was your mental health, how did it affect it? How did you get through it mentally?

Speaker 1: 19:54

I honestly struggled um my mom thank god for my mom, she was my primary caregiver and um, you know, to be honest, we love other, but we have a lot of where sometimes you can't have two bulls in the same pen, right? We're both very stubborn, we're very, we're very strong headed. The things that I love about my mom that also annoy me to heck. I have all those qualities and sing for her. So you know, we love each other, but we we knock heads hard headed all the time, even now. But we love each other. But we knock heads hard-headed all the time, even now. But we love each other. I love my mom to death. I would do anything for her and she has shown me that she would do anything for me, and cancer actually healed our relationship, as weird as it is. But I couldn't deal with the bag a lot of times and so sometimes I would just walk up to her or I'd call her and I'd be like Mom. And so sometimes I would just walk up to her or I'd call her and I'd be like mom, and she would just know what that meant. She knew it was time for a bag change and she would come and she would do it for me because I just didn't want to deal with it. Sometimes I dealt with it. Sometimes it's so weird, paula, because sometimes I deal with it like a champ, like one time I went to a doctor's appointment and it was you. You can't control it. It's not like your anus where you can hold your poop with. When you have an ostomy, it just comes out naturally. So you eat, it goes through you poop. So when I would go out with friends I wouldn't eat because I didn't want to have my bag show or have to change it. It, it, just it. It. It was rough and real shit, it was rough, shit was rough. And I remember she was amazed. Because here it is, I'm crying every night over having this shit and this bag of shit and going through this shit. And I told you I say shit a lot. And one day we go to a doctor's appointment and I had breakfast on the way and my bag had filled up and I needed to change it because it was showing and I didn't like when it showed. I didn't like people knowing that I had it. I didn't want to risk it blowing out, because if it fills up too much it's going to just come off. You know, it's literally just, it's like just stuck to you with tape. It's like know it's not, it's not, like it's it's yeah, so it can just fall off if it gets wet or you get sweaty. It it's really a tricky thing. And, um, my, I had to change it and I just pushed the car seat all the way back in the parking garage, take out my little kit with my extra bag and stuff, take off my bag, put it in a trash bag that I had in my little kit stuck on the new one, and I said, okay, mom, we're ready to go. I wiped my hands with some wet wipes and some hand sanitizer and I'm like we're good to go. And she looked at me and she's like just last night I had to change your bag for you and you're crying, you just handled it. But I had times when I would just push through, and then I had times when I would just push through and then I had times when I just didn't want to deal. You know, and it was just, you never knew how it was going to go and yeah, that's basically what some of the shit that I went through. So I finally got my bag reversed, my hospital reversed in January of 2020.

Speaker 1: 23:01

2013,. I was diagnosed October of 2011. I went through 12 rounds of rigorous chemo it's called full Fox. It's really hard on your body. Each treatment was every other week and each treatment was three days continuous. So I still have my little chemo port I don't know if you can see it. So they would attach me to chemo on Wednesday. I'd go in eight o'clock Wednesday morning, actually have to be there by seven, seven 30, start treatment at eight o'clock, be there until about six getting infusions. Then at six they would attach me to a pump on in my port again and I would go home with that pump and then disconnect from that pump Friday afternoon. It again, and I would go home with that pump and then disconnect from that pump Friday afternoon. So two and a half, two and three quarter days on chemo straight, even while I was sleeping for every other week for six months and I gained 60 pounds in my first six weeks of chemo 70 pounds altogether. I'm still struggling to lose that weight. So the body dysmorphia is real.

Speaker 3: 24:07

Isn't that kind of amazing how you gain weight, because the idea of most constipations they lose weight right.

Speaker 2: 24:17

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1: 24:19

It had a lot to do with the steroids, because I gained weight and I was barely even eating, and then it also had to do with the fact that the only things that I tended to want to eat because I had no appetite was basically mashed potatoes and popcorn, and I wasn't eating much of it. But, yeah, the steroids tend to blow you up and it can mess with your metabolism and all of that. So, yeah, yeah, but I'm alive, and I'm alive, you know, and I call it my, I don't call it my extra time, I call it my gifted time, and the way that I look at that is what am I going to do with the gift that God gave me? How am I going to pay that gift forward?

Speaker 3: 25:02

and we are going to talk about that. But first, you have been cancer free for 12 years, am I right? You are right, and congratulations for getting through that. I mean for getting through poop bag, shit bag, and getting through that and coming on the other side and realizing that yo, yes, life can be fucking tough, but there's other shit, right. So these little things don't bother you as much, because if you can get through that, right, what is this little shit?

Speaker 1: 25:40

Like I mean, I remember I was working when I first started working, you know, after getting through that. So I managed to get out of the hospital after six weeks in the hospital, almost dying. I had lost so much muscle mass. I had to relearn how to walk, basically, and do PT in the hospital, starting with a walker, regain my strength.

Speaker 1: 26:02

And after being in the hospital for six weeks and about to be discharged, my surgeon said not so fast there, I'm ready to sign the paper. I'm like yo, I want to go home. And he's like not so fast there. I'm like okay, what's up? He's like you've been out of breath and your heart rate is a little elevated. I want to run some tests. And he kept me for another three days, ran tests, every test under the sun chest x-ray, chest ultrasound, ct, all of it, heart monitor, stress test and it turned out I had a pulmonary embolism so I could have gone home and died. You know that Tuesday I had my first oncology visit that Thursday. Flew out to Jamaica Friday evening, walked in my graduation Saturday morning, had a little brunch party Sunday, took my photos Monday morning, flew back to Miami Monday afternoon and had my first chemo that Thursday.

Speaker 3: 27:03

There you go. First of all, congrats for graduating, because I remember you were kind of not sure if you would even be able to graduate, since you didn't present your project. You let the project present itself for you. That's incredible to be able to go through all that and still do your finals and still make it for graduation like you should. You should be very proud of yourself, like for being able to overcome all that bullshit I'm just stubborn as shit.

Speaker 1: 27:37

My mom says I'm defiant, but that defiance got me through so much and I thought it's that jamaican blood in you, you know it is.

Speaker 3: 27:43

It's that Jamaican blood in you, you know it is.

Speaker 1: 27:46

It's that scotch pepper in my blood. Um, no, I, um. I think what it was was that I had almost died to get that piece of paper and so what would be the point of getting it if I couldn't go and get it in person? And there was actually an empty space next to me at the end of the aisle because we thought I was going to need a wheelchair because I was so weak and I'd lost so much weight and I was able to walk. I needed help. I had two classmates, one gentleman on each side of me. I was escorted up the aisle.

Speaker 1: 28:21

I was able to walk across the stage on my own in heels this high, because I said I was going to walk in heels. I wasn't going to just walk, I wanted to rock ass heels. And I walked across the stage, got my degree and walked down and then had help back to my seat. But I did it and then, like that wasn't enough because I'm crazy, and then, like that wasn't enough because I'm crazy, I, when I did my ostomy reversal, I got out of the hospital and two days later, with 60 staples still in my abdomen, I applied for my master's degree for architecture at Florida International University. I worked on my portfolio and my application while in the hospital after my surgery, finished it up and went and dropped it off the final day, on that Friday, and I got in to do my master's.

Speaker 1: 29:11

And then, crazy again, that summer, before I was to start my master's, my friend, sean Johns, who I love. He got me the opportunity to work in England for two months with a design build firm that does luxury housing for people over there outside of London and Cobham, and I was ready to book my flight. I had just gone in for results from my scans just routine. This is what, two years after my diagnosis, at this point, 2013, I was diagnosed in 2011. So I knew there was still. I just read Tala. This is how much I avoided statistics. I just I just researched the statistics for stage three C colon cancer. With stage three C colon cancer, you have a 70 to 80% chance of recurrence within the first five years. I just found that out because I didn't want to know that when I was going through it.

Speaker 3: 30:07

And it would have fucked up with your mind and it would have even made you not fight as hard because you'd be like what the fuck?

Speaker 1: 30:15

Yeah, I mean my doctors told me I had a high chance of recurrence. They didn't tell me how much, but I mean they could have told me numbers, numbers, numbers. You know, even if you, if it's 99 percent chance, somebody has to be that one percent. So I don't really have statistics in mind anyway, which is important to know Right, like if somebody says you have a 50, 50 chance of living or dying which is basically what I had, it's still pretty good chances. Somebody has to be in that 50 and somebody has to be in the other 50. And I've seen that Right, and numbers don't tell you what side of the numbers you're going to be on.

Speaker 1: 30:49

They're just numbers, they're averages. So I applied for my master's. I'm there. I want to go to England to work.

Speaker 1: 30:56

I'm waiting for the medical clearance from my doctor, expecting that my scans are going to be clear. They'd always been clear. I did them every three months. They were always clear for two years. And she says I'm ready to book the clear. I did them every three months. They were always clear for two years.

Speaker 1: 31:07

And she said to me I'm ready to book the ticket. I literally found an $800 round trip flight, which you know is nothing. And she came in and she said I'm sorry, you have to put your trip on hold. And I looked at her and I'm like what the fuck are you talking about? And my mom it was like everybody held their breath in the room for a second. It was like time stopped for a second. And she said you have spots on your liver that are suspicious for metastasis, which we knew I had a high chance for Right now I know how high. And she said you need to cancel your trip. We need to do a biopsy right away.

Speaker 1: 31:48

And I looked at my mom and the doctor left the room. So me and my mom could talk. And my mom didn't say anything. And I'm like, mom, I'm going to call Sean Johns real quick. So I called my friend and I'm like, hey, sean, he's like, what's up, girl, how's the doctor appointment going? I'm like, um, so about that, you're my friend and so I want to know your input because I'm staying with you and so if anything happens to me, you're going to be the one who's going to have to handle whatever's going on. And he was like, okay, and I'm like, they saw spots on my liver. They think it might be cancer. I still want to come, but I want your opinion. And you know he said to me this is why I love him and we're still friends. He said, girl, still come. Whatever you have is not going to kill you in six to eight weeks. And my mom thought I was crazy. And you know my doctor thought I was crazy. But here's my way of-.

Speaker 3: 32:44

I would have done the same shit. I would have been like listen, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. If I die over there, at least I got to experience it, and I'm dying in London. If I come, if I'm not meant to die, I'll be back and we'll get into it. If I was being diagnosed for how many years? And I still fucking made through the shit, I think I can survive six to eight weeks.

Speaker 1: 33:09

Exactly so. I looked at my mom and I said mom. I looked at my doctor and I said Dr Dwar, let me tell you something Like my career and my dreams are the one things, are the two things that cancer has not killed and I refuse to let cancer take from me. Right, and I? I said if I don't go to London and I find out I have cancer, I'm going to be pissed. If I don't go to London and I find out I don't have cancer, I'm going to be even more pissed. And I said if I go to London, come back and find out I don't have to have, I don't have cancer, I'm going to be happy. And if I went to London, come back and find out I don't have to have, I don't have cancer, I'm going to be happy. And if I went to London and find out I have cancer, I'm going to be happy.

Speaker 1: 33:50

I went. So the only way that I'm going to be happy is if I go right, Cancer or not. Like you said, Paula, cancer or not, the only way. So I went and I came back and I started my master's still thinking that I might have stage four cancer. But my way of thinking of it was. I don't have stage four until they tell me, I have stage four.

Speaker 3: 34:13

So what happened? Did you go get checked? Did you have it, did you not?

Speaker 1: 34:19

So it took many biopsies, many tests. It took five years. I did not find out that I did not have cancer in my liver until 2018. It took five years, five years.

Speaker 1: 34:36

So at least you went to London and I did my master's and I lived my life and I started my career and and I I lived my life and I started my career and I lived my life, and you know that's. I might not have been stage four, I was stage three C but I understand people who have stage four just living their life, because we don't have a choice. When you have cancer, no matter what stage, your life doesn't stop. Your life is on pause in a lot of ways, but you still have to find ways to enjoy it. You still have to find ways to do things you'd never have done before. You still have to find ways to explore and be adventurous and try new things. And you have to find ways to still have dreams and goals and to achieve them, especially being young. You can't just say I have cancer, f it, I'm not going to live anymore. You have to find ways to live despite going through treatment, despite going through tests, despite not knowing if you have stage four or not, like for me-.

Speaker 3: 35:38

Despite the statistics Right Like for me.

Speaker 1: 35:44

I no longer have a high chance of recurrence, right, because I'm 12 years out. So my original cancer coming back, that's a very low chance of that. However, I still have a high chance of having a new primary cancer in my colon because I do a colonoscopy every year, because it's preventative, and I push everyone to do a colonoscopy, please. I know we have to have this conversation another time, probably during March, for awareness, but our population, our community, we are not getting colonoscopies because of the stigma. We're afraid to talk about shit. We're scared to talk about rectums, about anuses, about colons, about all of that. We don't want to have a camera stuck up our butt, especially black men. But we black men and black women are the ones dying from this the most and we're not getting screened for it.

Speaker 1: 36:32

And it's preventative, like, just do a fucking colonoscopy and just save your own life. You know what I mean. You need to do a colonoscopy and if you have any symptoms or family history, you need to do it earlier, no matter your age. And if you have any symptoms or family history, you need to do it earlier, no matter your age. I was 17 when I had symptoms. Probably if that doctor had done a colonoscopy, then it probably would have been either a really large polyp or stage zero or stage one. I wouldn't have had to go through all the shit I went through. I don't wish that shit on my worst enemy, so just do it.

Speaker 1: 37:02

And I do a colonoscopy every year. I am so badass because I've done at least 12 colonoscopies now, paula, I did my last colonoscopy prep on a plane, so the preps are not that bad, and I was not in the bathroom the entire time. I was in the bathroom one time while on the plane, so there's no excuse and they can reach out to me if they have any questions or anything. That's why I'm here, that's why I'm doing what I'm doing, because the only people who can save our people is our people, you know, yeah go ahead and speaking of that before the time goes out, because, if you all know, Shannon can talk and she's used to doing her lives for three hours, but I'm trying to keep mine under one hour.

Speaker 3: 37:48

God forbid, she takes me past one hour because she can't, she can't.

Speaker 1: 37:52

I've said a lot. I've said a lot in the half hour. I think We've gotten really close, I know.

Speaker 3: 37:57

I'm so proud of you. I think I'm training you right now for your next one so you can do better. I'm better at the guest than a host, which is. It is some real shit. You know there's difference between being a host and being a guest, you know. So, um, as of last friday you're two weeks in you launched your new baby, and what a beautiful launch that was.

Speaker 3: 38:31

And I think what I like, what gravitated me to you when I met you last year and what has gravitated us throughout this, is both of us in our podcast. We wanted to well, my podcast and your live stream. We wanted to create a place, a safe space for people to talk about their shit. We might have faced it differently, but it kind of means the same, you know, and we have done that by launching your live stream last week, blue Court Chat. So let the people know a little bit about that and share a little bit about your launch, because that was a special launch and I know we might cry a bit, but let's see if I can get through this.

Speaker 1: 39:28

When I was diagnosed, social media was not really existent. You would see blogs, you would see little threads, you might have chat rooms, aol, msn Messenger, things like that. It wasn't this, it was high five, remember high five.

Speaker 3: 39:48

Oh my God, yes, five, oh my god, yes, but it wasn't this right.

Speaker 1: 39:53

It wasn't what we have now. And so when I was diagnosed as a 29 year old who loved computers and was always on the internet, I couldn't find anybody like me. So I happened to find one young lady. She was my guest last night for my second episode, grace. I came across her blog, and her blog changed me because it was like she was diagnosed at 37. I was 29. She was a few years out and she shared her entire journey, and so I finally was like okay, now I kind of know what to expect and I know I'm not alone.

Speaker 1: 40:24

Then, two years after my diagnosis, I went to a conference for colon cancer. It happened to be in Miami. That's where I met Grace in person. It was just a weird fluke that we met again at a table and I recognized her. And then I met this wonderful gentleman, lee Silverstein, and Lee, the first time. I met him.

Speaker 1: 40:44

Paula, you know, you only need to meet Lee once for him to impact your life forever. I met him once. That time I met him again and again, and again and we became friends. Lee told me that I needed to know that I had a voice and I had a story that I needed to share. I didn't understand what he meant then, but over the years it became Shannon, you should have a podcast. And then it became. You know what I need to do? A YouTube, because we need to be seen. You can't represent through your voice.

Speaker 1: 41:20

And for colon cancer and the fact that I'm trying to get the word out that we people of African descent are at a higher propensity for having this disease. People have to see I look like them. I also feel that people have to feel me and know me and see me crying and see me emotional and see me smiling and see me laughing and get to know me. Right, Because I'm pretty authentic. Like Paula, you and I are the same because we're just real. Like what you see on camera is what you see in person. We're just real, like what you see on camera is what you see in person. You know what I'm saying. It's no different. So you know I just said I want to be authentic, I want to just be me, and that's who I became on social media.

Speaker 1: 42:03

And then Lee has always been encouraging me for eight years to get into this platform and finally, you know he's always telling me about PodFest and I never went. He's always touting PodFest and his PodFest fam never went to PodFest. I live three hours away, but last year Lee got me a scholarship for a free ticket and he said you have a free ticket, now what is your excuse? I expect to see you because I will be there and I'm having a recurrence, and so I went, not only because he gave me a free ticket, but because he was going to be there. I really went more to see Lee than anything. I didn't know what to expect for PodFest and I've actually had the Blue Couch chat channel. I think I reserved it in 2021, paula Never did anything with it, really, and I just kept on planning how I want my set. I want it to look like a talk show, I want it to be special all of this and um.

Speaker 3: 42:57

You were dealing yourself with all this perfectionist shit.

Speaker 1: 43:02

I was all this fucking perfectionist shit and um, I, um, I, like I. I decided that I, when I saw Lee, I found out Lee was in hospice in January and I'm like I really need to make this shit happen. And then I saw him at Podfest and I made the promise to him because years ago I said, when I do this shit, I want you to be my first guest because you're the whole reason why the shit happened. Right, the good shit happened. So he was supposed to be my first guest. And when I saw him in Orlando and I realized, girl, you can't put this off anymore or you won't be able to ever have Lee see what he's made happen. You won't be able to have Lee as your guest. You won't be able to tell Lee how he's influenced you.

Speaker 1: 43:53

You know, because of Lee I went to Podfest. I met my friend Tim. I ended up being now a co-host on Tim's show on Wednesdays. That let me wet my feet and feel like this is my happy place. I enjoy this, although I get anxious about it because I'm shy somewhat inside.

Speaker 3: 44:11

I don't know about that, about that, I haven't seen that shy part.

Speaker 1: 44:16

You say I'm talking bullshit here. I'm bullshitting here.

Speaker 3: 44:20

Is this shit talking for real?

Speaker 1: 44:25

I do have social anxiety. When I get out in the space then I'm a total extrovert. But to actually get there, I have this anxiety and even coming on camera I have anxiety and I have to breathe through it and then I'm okay once I'm on camera, it's just this weird thing. Nothing in my life makes sense. But I started Blue Couch Chat and I made the commitment, the hard commitment, at PodFest, during the gratitude ceremony, that I was going to start it within a week and I was going to have Lee as my guest. And then I told Chris that I wanted it to be a celebration of Lee and having guests on to say how they felt, and I'd be honored if Chris would be on it. And Chris was my first, like yes, let's do it. He was like that is beautiful, I love it. You tell me the time and the date and I will be there, I will make sure that I'm available. And when Chris said that, I was like okay, I really need to do this because if Chris okays it, then I'm onto something.

Speaker 1: 45:23

And within a week, stealth mode, because I couldn't tag Lee, because I wanted it to be a surprise, I wanted him to think that I was just interviewing him, like everybody else was at the time, but I'd already interviewed him with Tim, so I didn't want to interview him again. And he had an interview on, you know, man Up To Cancer podcast. So I was like I'm going to just ask him a few questions that I want to ask him and then after that the rest of the show is just people coming on like you, paula, and saying how much they love him, and it was a total act of love. I mean, when I made that commitment at PodFest, I didn't even have a freaking logo.

Speaker 3: 46:01

But you see how things work Once you already give a timeline or say it to people where you know they're going to hold you accountable, you get into the action mode, because now you're like okay, there are people who are going to hold me accountable, people who I admire and people who want to make proud and I don't want to let them down. So now there's that need. That's why we always say if you really want to get something done or to achieve something, tell the people who are going to hold you accountable, because that's how you're going to get it done.

Speaker 1: 46:35

Yeah, but if you keep it, alone inside.

Speaker 3: 46:38

Nobody knows what you have planned. So even if the day comes and you didn't do shit, nobody's expecting it.

Speaker 1: 46:43

So there's no shame or anything of not achieving right, and you know, the funny thing is like, remember, you and I were talking and I was like. You know, when you sit around waiting for the perfect time, you'll never be ready.

Speaker 3: 46:55

There's no perfect time, yeah, because there's no, first of all, perfect time, but when's perfect time done? You create. I am a firm believer that you create the perfect time, even the perfect moment, because imagine if you're waiting for the perfect time and you were still doing this shit. We lost Lee on Wednesday. Okay, we don't know if that would have happened or not, but now you'd be sitting here like, damn, now he's not going to see me do this thing Now he's not going to, you know, but you literally gave him a celebration of life.

Speaker 3: 47:33

He got to sit there and watch us point to him, like when I tell you, one of the most amazing, emotionally beautiful launch I've witnessed is yours, because not only the people were able to come on the stage, but did you see that chat?

Speaker 3: 47:51

Like in the chat, shout to nancy and brian and people on the chat, and you, and, and it was such you gave us because you remember, I was like, oh man, and I had this number and I I had it in my head to, to, to check up on him, but I didn't do it because we literally thought there was still time, like we knew it was coming, but we just didn't think it was going to come this soon. But in my head I'm still like but Paula, you got to tell him everything you needed to tell him and he had it. He saw you and I keep on replaying that part as soon as I came on the stage and I was like Paula. It just is in my head like in a sweet but thankful way, like it's so nice to watch but it's also so painful to fucking watch. But to know that he was so excited to see me and to allow me to call on him, you gave us that. So now your launch day means even more because of the aftermath of what happened.

Speaker 1: 49:04

I'm still being tagged in posts and I can't keep up.

Speaker 3: 49:10

And you know people are out Speaking of that, that you need to go to Instagram and approve my invitation to collaborate, because I did post something okay, I'm not on Instagram.

Speaker 1: 49:21

I need to be better about that.

Speaker 3: 49:23

Thank you for calling me out on that you know, one thing I'm going to do is call you out girl, because I am just all about calling people out and they're bullshit.

Speaker 1: 49:35

No, I'm just but you know, I um, I'm grateful that my launch was the way that it was, because if I had just interviewed him years before, it wouldn't have been the same as what last Friday was. It wouldn't have been as special.

Speaker 3: 49:54

We literally got to say bye to this man without knowing we were saying bye, see you later.

Speaker 1: 50:00

It's a see you later. It's a see you later. We're going to see him later. We're going to be greeted by his smile, he promised me.

Speaker 3: 50:08

I don't know, man, by the way my life is going, I might be going to a different side of the world, you know.

Speaker 1: 50:16

Nah, my girl, you're too good of a person. God's not going to send you to hell for a few fucks and shit. I'm sorry. You and I are going to be down there together. We're going to be like getting ourselves. A man is hot.

Speaker 3: 50:32

My ex yesterday just told me I was going to have. So I'm like, okay, I guess I'm going to have that you know what?

Speaker 1: 50:38

I'm glad he's your effing ex, because anybody who's gonna tell you that is damn wrong, because you have one of the biggest hearts in such a small body I've ever seen and you have so much energy and you're like I never knew that you were, so I always forget how tiny you are. And then you hug me and I'm like wait, I'm tiny. And she's like in my boobs and I'm like what?

Speaker 3: 51:02

Larry calls me the Tasmanian devil. You're like, the Tasmanian devil. So much energy in this tiniest body of yours I'm like. So you know what Jamaicans sayican, I just know.

Speaker 3: 51:14

but here's the thing podcast just gives me a different energy because I do not have the energy. The podcast energy that I bring, I do not have it in my life, like I do have energy, but not the podcast energy 24 7. So I don't know if it's just the excitement of being around people who just pour onto you that just makes it, because I don't know how I survived four fucking days being on top of that energy. And the thing is, even when I'm running a little bit low on battery and I need to go to recharge, people come to me and they're like what's wrong with you? Are you okay? Did something happen? I'm like no, I'm just tired. I'm tired Like what's wrong with you, are you okay? Did something happen? I'm like no, I'm just tired, I'm tired.

Speaker 1: 51:55

You know it's funny, paula, because like I'm the same way where I'm this huge extrovert when I'm at PodFest. Once I get there I had that social anxiety before, but like in real life I'm just like this cool, chill, just girl, just chilling, like I don't even like to go out, I stay at home and I watch Netflix, me too.

Speaker 3: 52:14

I don't like people that much, even though I'm extroverted, but I like creative people, I like process people, but in my real life I don't like people that much, even though I used to be the outdoorsy, always out, always wanting people around me. But since COVID and since learning to be by myself and work on myself and creating this business, I don't like people anymore like that. I'm like please leave me alone. Respectfully.

Speaker 1: 52:40

Yeah, people suck for the most part. I mean, you saw me here back from Nashville, you know people suck.

Speaker 3: 52:46

Yes, and that's why I only entertain Podfest people, like literally my phone lately.

Speaker 3: 52:52

The people I talk to are mostly people from Podfest Especially you and Amanda, you, Amanda and Nancy, I need to start charging you therapy money because y'all be blowing on my phone every hour, every fucking time Me and Russo, you, russo and Nancy, russo and Nancy. We need you. Russo is sending voicemails two hours a day, but it's funny, right. I'm so used to getting like five, six and there'll be two minutes, three minutes, four minutes voicemails, but then on a day when it's so quiet, like if the whole day I haven't even received a message, I'll be like bitch, are you okay? Because now I'm feeling like why did I receive even one voice note today? What's going on?

Speaker 1: 53:41

So Amanda Russo made me cry four times yesterday.

Speaker 3: 53:46

And she said it was a bad day today.

Speaker 1: 53:50

Yeah, I've been sending her voice messages. So the funny thing is is yesterday I'm at the nail salon and she sends me a message and I'm crying, and then this is what happened. Do you see my ring fingers? That's the we have cancer podcast. Podcast. Logo for lee.

Speaker 3: 54:08

Lee, that's sweet.

Speaker 1: 54:12

It is so I also want to tell you, because I announced it last night. But I have decided to dedicate my entire YouTube slash live stream Blue Couch chat in Lee's honor, so there will be a picture of him and in honor of Lee Silverstein at the beginning of every episode.

Speaker 3: 54:31

I'm so proud of you and I'll be so happy you're keeping his legacy going, as that's what you wanted. So we have seven minutes and we need to wrap this up.

Speaker 1: 54:46

So before we go, let the people know what Blue Couch Chat is about and where they can find you okay, so blue couch chat, the idea of the name, kind of like red table talk, so it's easier to remember for our community, right, but blue is my favorite color, it's also, but sorry, sorry, just to be that gone.

Speaker 3: 55:09

You know red table talk has a red table and blue couch chat. I need to see a blue couch, okay, because?

Speaker 2: 55:16

you're misleading me.

Speaker 3: 55:18

Okay, I will sue for this misleading.

Speaker 1: 55:22

I have the blue couch. I had my entire set set up and then my bedroom flooded in November and I had to move everything out of my bedroom into what's my studio. So now that became storage, my bedroom into my studio. So now that became storage. So I have my couch. I've had my couch for three years, paula.

Speaker 3: 55:41

I've had my couch for three years. Okay, go ahead. I just wanted to make sure that we don't want what is it called Misleading Brand. Misleading, no, so.

Speaker 1: 55:52

I have my blue couch. It's a nice blue velvet couch with like gold legs. So I'm doing blue, gold and green. You know, very luxurious, but blue is the color for colon cancer. It's also my favorite color. Couch is where you invite someone to feel comfortable. Also, when you're on your therapist, you're speaking to your therapist. You tend to lay on their couch for that very reason. It's a safe place. And then the chat is like what we had tonight, paula an unscripted, just authentic and transparent and vulnerable conversation that just, you know, just goes, and that's the whole concept of blue couch chat.

Speaker 1: 56:28

I am at Blue Couch Chat on Facebook, Insta X, which is still Twitter, and of course, on YouTube, blue Couch Chat. I am Shansim Lee on Facebook, insta and yeah, so you can find me. You can also search me by Shannon Lee-Sin on Facebook. I also stream as Blue Couch Chat on my personal LinkedIn as Shannon Lee sin, and as blue couch chat on LinkedIn too. So, basically, if you're looking for me, you can find me. I'm easy to find. When do you stream? I stream every Friday evening at around six o'clock.

Speaker 3: 57:08

You're supposed to say that? How else are people going to come see your shit girl? I need to teach you how else are people gonna come see your shit girl?

Speaker 1: 57:16

we were supposed to take a shot for lee well, I have my red bull, I didn't have my, I don't have my rum, but I do have blue couch chat stuff. So see, I'm official you're official.

Speaker 3: 57:29

I like you much, I'm proud of you, but, um, when we were planning, when we were planning this, here're the one who told me we need to take a shot. So I don't know why you didn't have your arm.

Speaker 1: 57:40

Okay, well, we can do this. This works.

Speaker 3: 57:43

It doesn't. What's the point? The whole point is. Can we go get my room? I'm going to go get my room. Yes, Quick, we have three minutes left. I have it ready. Wait, oh my God, these people. You know you can't bring African Jamaican Islanders in this shit, and they don't just make shit happen.

Speaker 1: 58:08

I went to three different liquor stores to find a special rum from Jamaica and it's pretty rare and because you know, when you give it a shot it has to be something special. So this is Appleton, it's 12 years, it's a rare cask, it is freaking amazing and I'm sorry I'm having Bombay. Sophia, that's a baby ass shot you're doing girl, that's not a Jamaican shot, so hold on.

Speaker 3: 58:34

Because I've been drinking okay, I'm not trying to black out here. Okay, well, I feel like that's your first drink, so you're allowed to have that.

Speaker 2: 58:43

But if you watched my live earlier.

Speaker 3: 58:46

so, tuli, thank you for bringing us together and, as they say, legends never die. Your legacy will fucking live on Forever and ever and beyond.

Speaker 1: 58:59

Tuli, love you. Pods of friendship. All right, that is some smooth shit. I love this so much.

Speaker 3: 59:09

Not Bombay, sapphire. Bombay ain't smooth for shit. You need to get some of this. I'll bring you some, but we have one minute before we go. Leave an advice for those people scared to go get tested.

Speaker 1: 59:23

The prevention is always better than the cure. And the great thing about colon cancer it's the one cancer that is actually preventable by doing screening, which is the colonoscopy. I am going to say do the colonoscopy. That's the only way to prevent this cancer before it develops and to actually find it and possibly cut it out. If it's an early stage, or at least you're diagnosed, you catch it early and then you can do the surgery and whatever. But hopefully they'll catch it early. But if you do your colonoscopy when you're supposed to, hopefully you should be fine. So just do it. Healthcare is self-care.

Speaker 3: 59:58

Thank you very much. Thank you, shannon, for advocating, motivating, educating, informing, inspiring and giving hope to people out there. For everybody who's watching. Who watched on live. Thank you for watching. For those who are going to tune on replay. Thank you who watched on live. Thank you for watching. For those who are going to tune on replay. Thank you Go out and check out Blue Coach Live. She'll be having incredible conversations and you can learn a lot of shit. Until next time, see you on Shit Happens, shit Happens, shit, shit happens, shit, shit, shit happens, shit, shit, shit, shit happens, shit happens, shit happens, shit happens.