S9E10 - Resilience and Real Life: Laughing & Navigating through Challenges, Chaos, Love, and Wellness!! #ShitHappens

Have you ever laughed off a technical glitch that set the tone for your entire day? That's exactly how Noreen and I began our episode, setting the stage for a lively discussion about life's unpredictability and the resilience it demands. We chuckle our way through unexpected events, personal anecdotes, and the relatable chaos of 2024's "Year of Possibilities," touching on everything from Noreen's morning workouts to her favorite reality TV indulgence, "Ready to Love." This episode is a reminder that even when things go awry, showing up for ourselves and our communities is what truly counts.

As we navigate the quirky world of online dating, we share personal tales that range from amusing to downright puzzling, comparing platforms like Facebook Dating, Tinder, and Plenty of Fish. But it's not all about love and algorithms; we pivot to discuss the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Mindful eating, listening to our bodies, and heart health take center stage, especially for black women. Our conversation highlights self-care and wellness as pivotal aspects of resilience and personal growth, with a dash of humor and honesty throughout.

The journey from hardship to hope is illuminated by stories of determination and faith. We explore how mindset and prayer can guide us through overwhelming times, introducing listeners to the inspiring work of Noreen Foy, founder of Save Our Sisters. Noreen shares her empowering journey and announces an upcoming event in Peoria, Illinois, focusing on life after loss alongside Keisha Woods of Upgraded Mindsets. Despite the technical hiccups, our episode celebrates perseverance and the incredible strength found within community and sisterhood, proving once again that resilience is the key when "shit happens.

To Get In-Touch with Norine - https://saveoursisters.net/

Chapters

• 0:00 Resilience and Real Life Relationships
• 15:16 Health, Love, Resilience
• 24:05 Overcoming Adversity and Finding Hope
• 29:49 Journey to Resilience and Success
• 42:23 Empowerment, Resilience, Community and Success

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

so hold on. Noreen is calling me hello. I don't have a link. It's a new email.

Speaker 2: 0:08

I sent it to you in the morning today yes oh my god, paula, I'm so sorry, it's alright, I didn't, I didn't see it, it's ok hold on, because I'm ready, I just need to log in. I didn't see it, it's okay. Hold on, because I'm ready, I just need to log in. Oh, here it is. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I feel so bad. Oh, what a bad friend.

Speaker 1: 0:36

I mean, it is shit happens.

Speaker 3: 0:40

It's really happening.

Speaker 1: 0:45

And you're on loudspeaker while I'm on live, so you're fine, you can go in.

Speaker 2: 0:50

Okay, let me hang up, I will log in.

Speaker 1: 0:53

All right, okay, shit happens. Shit happens to you and me. It doesn't matter if you're a wizard, a king or a queen, even if you are magic, you've got to agree it's worth it to talk shit out, no matter how messy Shit happens.

Speaker 3: 1:22

Shit happens. Just FYI, this episode was recorded February of 2024, and it is now February 2025.

Speaker 1: 1:50

Enjoy, I told myself this year is the year of possibilities and I'm going to make sure I'm in every room that has possibilities of me and my growth into this journey. Do whatever you want to do with that, oh my God. Dominic always says shout out to Dominic. He always says whenever he says something right, and then he say do what you will with that. Like you can either take it to heart, you can either listen to it, you can either follow, you can either fuck it up. It is what it is.

Speaker 3: 2:32

And it sure was a year of possibilities and I sure did grab as much opportunity as I could. Now, this year, this year, is a savage year Because, even though I grabbed as much opportunity as I could, I was humble, very humble, last year. Hence savage year 2025.

Speaker 1: 2:57

Alright, guys, guess I'm sticking around. Noreen is jumping on and Noreen is over here, so I am going to go ahead and bring her on.

Speaker 2: 3:08

okay, she's back oh, my god, paula.

Speaker 1: 3:13

I mean, ma'am, I do know that this is shit happens, but damn shit really happens it got real, it got real.

Speaker 2: 3:22

I am so, so sorry.

Speaker 1: 3:25

I am so sorry, it's okay for some reason, my headphones won't connect, so I don't know what's going on with me.

Speaker 2: 3:34

Mine wouldn't connect either. That was my problem. I tried to connect like we did the other day. So it's the wednesday and it just wouldn't do it today. So I said you know what? What's gonna, we're just gonna go but that's on us.

Speaker 1: 3:50

I mean we, we know better, we know we should have been here like 15 minutes before and done our check, check. So what so? What happened? So so, because I was letting whoever was watching, even if nobody was watching, that I got stood up. So you want to tell me what happened? Why did you stood me up? I think me and the people in the explanation.

Speaker 2: 4:18

I did not stand up. Your queen, I was having a moment, I had an emergency and it slipped my mind and so she said, hey, are you coming on? Oh, my goodness, the funny thing is I see it on my calendar and I'm like, okay, I saw your post. Yeah, she posted it. So I must have set myself a reminder to like go listen to the episode. And then I forgot about this one and the mix up. That is so. I am so sorry, all the shit talkers out there, I did not mean to make your queen late for her appointments. Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me.

Speaker 1: 5:03

So I'm sorry you were having a moment and I do understand Sometimes. I mean, that's why this segment is called Shit Happens, right, because that's the reality of life Shit does happen. But it also taught me something, you know, because I could have easily been like, let me cancel, let me not show up, right. But instead I still jumped on and was like I'm still going to talk to people and say some things and then, if you show up, we shall do it. If you don't, you know, shit happens. But it taught me that I still need to show up.

Speaker 2: 5:39

Yeah, yeah, and that's, you know, that's kind of a little bit of something that we were talking about the other day. It's really showing up for community. But yeah, we definitely have to show up for ourselves. We have to just be adaptable and be able to just adapt ourselves to any situation, right?

Speaker 1: 5:56

Oh my God, and it's funny. Yes, and it's funny that all this is happening, because I was literally going to talk to you. We were going to talk to you, we were going to talk about being resilient and faith, because right now I was about to give up.

Speaker 2: 6:11

yeah, no, we cannot give up. You don't stay on this whole time, see, you have to be able to bounce back.

Speaker 1: 6:21

But as part of with this all the time and this is real life and the thing is, when I was doing Talk Shit With P, it was pre-recorded right, so it didn't matter. I wasn't on live, but this is happening on live hey, you know what real life is?

Speaker 2: 6:43

live so these things happen. Shit is happening. It's happening today. So how was your day? Oh my gosh, you know what? I woke up in a Zen funky mood, if that makes sense. I woke up, I went downstairs, I worked out for about an hour, I watched my Ready to Love Don't Judge and then I got in the shower. What's Ready to Love? Oh, ready to Love is by Tommy Miles. It's like black folks trying to find love. It's all about black love. I love it. They're not in of people because they're like they're not in dallas anymore, but uh, they're still in texas. I can't remember what part they are in, but, um, you know, it's just a bunch of food left so kind of like married at first sight, kind of like what married at first.

Speaker 2: 7:44

No, they're not getting married, they're just trying to date. It's kind of like the box office but like an even playing field. I think it's like 10 women, 10 men or 18 women, yeah, nine women to nine men or something like that, and you know, they just try to get to know each other. There's a bunch of mixers, you know. Apparently, dating life is hard. So this guy, Tommy miles, and it's a Will Packer production and so it's a, it's a black show, and so they go to yeah, they go from city to city to work.

Speaker 1: 8:21

It's tough out here. Let me know when they're in Atlanta.

Speaker 2: 8:29

Well, I mean shoot, it's tough out here. Let me know when they're in atlanta. Well, I mean shoot if I. Yeah, if I see that I'll let you know. Be like oh my god, follow us on the show.

Speaker 1: 8:33

There's no way they wouldn't cast you I don't know, man, I fear finding love on these shows. There's one time I was like maybe I should go to. Love is blind, because that's my thing, because I want deep connection, I know, but then I don't know if I want my journey to be on tv yeah, I don't think I want my journey to be on tv either.

Speaker 2: 8:57

I I like authentic connections, you know. But I need to see you, you know, and I need to talk to you because I need to know if we're aligned. You know, I was watching today and one of the guys he was talking to a girl and you know he asked her if she had kids. She said yes, she had kids. She asked him if he had kids. He said no, but he would like some kids. And he asked her if she would like some kids and he said she said no, I don't want any more kids. And he was like nice to meet you, good luck on your journey. I was like, well, all right.

Speaker 1: 9:30

I mean, at that point we already don't want the same things. Yeah, I did the same. I went on a date with a guy and he told me he got a vasectomy. So that means he can't have any more kids. Yeah, I was like, well, this was fun because I knew he wasn't gonna go anywhere, because I knew I want at least one child. Like I know I want a child, so why waste my time exactly yeah, and know a lot of people.

Speaker 2: 10:05

In your theme of resilience, you know a lot of people. When they go through a lot of things, they kind of like don't really bounce back from that before they dive into something new to just heal themselves before trying to get back in the. In the journey of trying to find love, it's so important for you to know who you are, know what you want, know where you're going, know what you're bringing to the table, in order for you to actually find that person that you want to eat with at that table.

Speaker 1: 10:39

You know what I mean. It's funny, I saw, I think you know maybe maybe that's why this needed to still happen. Because it's funny you brought that up? Because literally two hours ago I just commented on a post. You see, I'm being nosy now. I had a door slam and now I'm like Right, God help me. But um, two hours ago I commented on a post.

Speaker 1: 11:12

Somebody posted oh my god, I don't know why I forgot her name and I just met her last week at Podfest and her post was like something like everybody who gets out of it should be a requirement, that everybody who gets out of it should be a requirement, that everybody who gets out of a long-term relationship to have therapy, something like that.

Speaker 1: 11:37

Because it's so true, especially people who have been in a longer relationship, right, most people end up losing themselves because they're so used to people instead of just them themselves. So when you enter this, what? And then you're going to be too quick to jump in any other thing because you're used to always having somebody, but you've got to find first yourself again. You've got to figure out who you are, what do you want? Because outside of what that was, that way you don't bring any more garbage to your next relationship. Also, you end up finding the right one, so you might go on to that, and that's when it happens. Six months, 12 months, you know, just half-half half, because it didn't align and you didn't work on yourself yeah, and then you, you have to be open.

Speaker 2: 12:32

You can't, you can't go into finding love close-minded. You have to be open to every possibility. Now, if you have these deep rooted preferences like he must be tall, he must, must be chocolate, he must have six-pack, you know, he must drive a Lexus, you know, if you have those type of superficial ideals and you know things that you put up for yourself, you're not going to really find that. You know. But you have to really look more within, like, okay, I need somebody that's a good person, somebody that you know maybe shares the same religion you know, shares your same morals and values, you know. And then you get into the hobbies and all the other things that would be important to you, you know.

Speaker 1: 13:18

And that's so true. And for some reason I'm into dad bods these days, so they can have the six pack.

Speaker 2: 13:27

Yeah, you know what I think? People have a six pack. I always feel like you know, like when I was out in the dating world you know I was I always used to think, oh God, please, then let me not date a gym buff, because then he's going to want me to do all these different things. Like, if he's going to be a gym buff, let him be on his gym journey by himself. Let me be on my journey, because if I'm fat and if I'm having like a positive what do you call it?

Speaker 2: 13:50

Body negativity moment, I don't need him to be chiming in like, well, if you stop eating this and if you stop eating that, you know, mind your business, stay in your lane. You know, don't push your journey on to me, I will get there on my own. You know, now if I come to you and ask for advice, then yes, please give it, but please do not give me an unsolicited advice. I always feel like, oh gosh, I don't want to date a guy that is too much into that, because then I'm not going to be for him, because I'm not going to wake up at 5 am to go go work out with you. I may wake up at 9 am to go work out with you. But you know, if you're like one of those people that have to be so regimented at 5 am and then you have to have your protein shakes and all these different things and your protein bars and all that, I'm like no, because today is pasta day and I need you to be OK with that.

Speaker 1: 14:52

Oh, because today is pasta day and I need you to be okay with that. Oh my god, it's so funny you say that first of all, now I want pasta. But it's so funny you say that because all my dating apps, anytime I see a guy who's like they write gym so much or they have all these gym pictures I I don't care how hot you look, I'm swiping. Like I know, I don't know why Like I want. If I want to go to the gym, I go, and if I don't, I don't, but I don't want somebody. So there's this guy. You know I've been enjoying Facebook dating. It's so funny, y'all.

Speaker 2: 15:21

Like it's the creepiest. I've always thought that was turning out for people. Facebook dating.

Speaker 1: 15:26

It's trash. Like you think, tinder is trash, facebook dating is trash.

Speaker 2: 15:32

You know what that was? Trash Plenty of fish.

Speaker 1: 15:36

I thought that was trash. I've never tried that one, ever, because a lot of people complain about it. So the thing is, facebook dating is so trash but it kind of reminds me of my trash TV. So whenever I'm just like, let me see what's going on today, and I get all the weirdos liking me, you know, on today, and I get all the weird weirdos liking me, you know. So, um, there's this guy who literally is is um, his bio says he's looking for somebody to go to the gym with, whatever, whatever. And then he liked me and I was like I'm so sorry, I don't go to the gym every day, I barely go, so I'm not the one for you because you can message them as you reply you. You like them and I was like but you have a picture of you in a gym with a boxing bag.

Speaker 1: 16:30

I'm like I box and I haven't done that in in seven I don't know in how many months but I don't go to the gym like. I have these moments, these moments and me, most of the time I do work out in ways of stretching, like sit-ups, running. I used to go to my other gym in my old apartment. Our gym had a climbing wall which spin around, so that was kind of good for stretching and it had the boxing bag. So that's why I was at the gym, because I love boxing. But I'm not going to the gym for the trademarks and the lifting and none of that. I don't do that.

Speaker 2: 17:07

No, no, and I, you know, my husband and I, you know, we have a bunch of stuff downstairs in our basement. Our home basement is the gym, and then of course it's the movie theater down there too. So that's really where we zen out. You know his studios there. You know that's that's like the Zen area of the of the house. You know that's the, that's the creative area, you know. But, um, I try to just really just stay healthy. You know, I'm down eight pounds. I have 12 more to go. My goal is 20. I didn't give myself an end date, I just want to lose 20 pounds. So I'm taking the pressure. You know, like sometimes you say I want to lose weight by this date and then you put so much pressure on yourself. I'm not doing that to myself, I just say I want to lose 20 pounds. When I lose it, I lose it, but I'm actively working to lose it, that's's all.

Speaker 1: 18:02

Yeah, it does. Because even me, whenever I used to say I want to gain weight and I tried forcing myself to eat so much, and shit I wasn't gaining shit. Because also the mind, you know, because it's in your mind constantly, so you're not doing the other things that you're supposed to do as well to help you gain the weight, you're just concentrating on eating it. I gotta gain, I gotta gain, I gotta gain. So when I stopped caring and not overthinking it and just be like I want to gain and I'm gonna do my best, but if it doesn't happen, and so I started gaining, yeah, you know I think some things are mind over matter, but you know, you have to really be intentional about what you're really putting into your body.

Speaker 2: 18:43

You know and don't let me get to preaching about that but you know, as, as black women, you know we have to be very mindful of heart disease, you know, and eating a bunch of things that are not good for our body. And, uh, you know, hey, I'm not going to throw my red meat onto the bus because your sis loves a good ribeye, okay, with the fat, you know. But you know we have to be very cognizant about what we're putting in our body. So, whether we try to lose weight or gain weight, we have to just really have like a plan on how we're gonna get to this, this, this ideal weight goal.

Speaker 2: 19:20

You know what I mean yeah, it's such um now, before we huh good, when I work out, it's like I don't say, okay, I'm gonna do 20 reps of this and 30 reps of that. I go down, I stretch, I don't do anything in order, you know, I just do them all. I say, okay, this is because, listen, I'm of a different age, so if I wake up with body aches, then I'm going to do the things. That's not going to ache my body that day. I'm going to do more stretching, I'm going to do less vigorous stuff. You know, I have that stair thing where you step on it and you do that.

Speaker 2: 20:01

I love to get on that. My knees are killing me. I'm not going to get on that. I'm just going to go slowly, maybe not as much as I would, not as hard as I normally go. But you know, my target areas are my arms and my stomach. You know, and you know my legs are sexy. You know they, they are right. But I go in there with just like, not putting any pressure on anything. I just do what I need to do and I get out and I don't put bad things in my body. I, I I'm not a calorie counter, you know, but you know it is what it is. See, we, we, we got onto. We started talking about love. Now we're on weight gain or on, we're on, we're on a fitness.

Speaker 1: 20:50

And we should be talking let's get back to track. So I might, I might, read this right resilience for her is not merely bouncing back, but bouncing forward, embracing change and emerging stronger after setbacks. Let let's dive into that. Yeah, because I feel like you know, after the year of okay, let me not even think deep things, right. Even just here, right now, while I was trying to figure this shit out, I was just this question, just saying like maybe we should reschedule, right, but then that would be giving up, right, it would, and that would mean also, you don't have faith that you can make this shit happen.

Speaker 2: 21:36

Yeah, yeah, but you bounced back really well though. You bounced back well, you hung in there, you know, because listen, like I said, as podcasters this could happen. You could have like a very important interview and you could do the tech check, and then you hit live and then all hell breaks loose, you know. And so it's just about how you really overcome it, and you bounce back really well. You bounce back really well. So applaud yourself. I'll give you a round of applause.

Speaker 1: 22:06

After she stands me up. Now she's praising me.

Speaker 2: 22:10

Hey, I didn't stand you up. Let's reframe that. Remember, we learned that. Let's reframe that. I was a tad bit late. Shit was happening. It's a little bit delayed. She needs happening and it's a little bit delayed.

Speaker 1: 22:25

She needs to buy me lunch now because she brought up pasta and she was late, so now she needs to buy me pasta for lunch.

Speaker 2: 22:35

I will show you the whole town. I will take you to eat. We will eat our way through the city city. I love to eat. That's why I need to get in shape now.

Speaker 1: 22:48

I will take you to eat. We shall eat.

Speaker 2: 22:54

Let's get back to this so, besides, how did you this little conundrum that we was just into with the technology? Because, let me tell you, streaming artists sometimes it it could be hard to manage sometimes, because I was just trying to hook up my microphone on it and that's when I couldn't hear you and I just disconnected and I was like, okay, we're not doing microphones today. Then you know, but how do you bounce back from normal things in your life?

Speaker 1: 23:24

so. So that's the thing, right, last year. Last year was really tough for me, right, you know, and I contemplated suicide back and forth, like I really. I really was. And it's funny because I showed up online because my podcast was still going on and I wanted to make sure those last few episodes were very hard to show up and promote. But I wanted to make sure that the guests get the same support the other guests had when I was okay, because they took their time to come and talk and share some knowledge. They needed as much support like that. So it was hard to really show up, but I was really dying inside, like my life was really, and it was tough.

Speaker 1: 24:13

I even stopped praying because I was in this place where I didn't think even God cared. But then when I came into this year, right, no, but again, it's just in the mind. Right, it's the things we tell ourselves in our mind. It's not the reality. So when I started this year, I had to switch my mind. Mindset switch is real and very important. So I was like yo, last year kicked my ass, this year we're going to kick its ass, we're going to turn it around. So I started. That's why I was like my word was going to be discipline and I started praying and not worrying, I told myself last year. I was worrying so much because a lot was happening at the same time and I was really in a deep hole. I really wasn't sure how I would survive that year. So I was constantly worrying instead of actually praying and having faith that God got me.

Speaker 2: 25:25

Yeah, that's important that you actually take the time to realize that and just take that time to self-reflect.

Speaker 1: 25:34

Because it's really important for your journey when I realized I was lacking faith in God. Even the prayers don't make sense if you don't have faith in him to actually answer your prayers.

Speaker 2: 25:47

Yeah, faith without words is dead.

Speaker 1: 25:56

So I was like my word's going to be discipline. If I want to make this year a better year, I need to change stuff. I need to be disciplined. If I want to make this year a better year, I need to change stuff. I need to be disciplined, I need to do things different and I need to pray and have faith. God got me and not why and I really haven't been worrying.

Speaker 2: 26:15

I'm just praying Because it's not your job to worry. I mean, if you're going to pray to God, then you need to let him do his job. Your job is to just have the faith and do what you need to do to stand in your faith. His job is to make things happen. You can't do your job and his. You got to let it go. You know, sometimes we say you know, we say well, god, sometimes people need to get God now. You know things. We're such in a now culture. Everything needs to be immediate. We need instant everything instant coffee, instant food, instant this, instant that. And we need to just be patient, you know, because we have to. Everything comes with time and everything has a season. And so last year you were in a season of darkness, and now you, this season, this year, you're in a season of darkness. Now this year you're in a season of light. Everybody goes through it. I don't want you to put too much pressure on yourself. Just take your time and just work through your stuff. Just do what's best for you.

Speaker 1: 27:18

That's why I've realized what. I've just realized something Our names have disappeared. Streamyard is doing some funny things today, anyways, but also it's funny. We're talking about resilience, right. And then, when you ask me that question, because as I was going to uh, port fest, a shout out to shout out atlanta, they did an article on me which I'll post it next week. I haven't literally posted it, I forgot about it because it came while I was on my way to port festelt, so my entire mind was just Port Felt. But the first question I answered was about resilience. And how do you stay resilient? Because it is very hard to keep fighting. Sometimes, when you feel like you're losing every battle, you're fighting.

Speaker 2: 28:19

Yeah, but you have to go it one day at a time.

Speaker 1: 28:24

But that's the thing. When you're fighting them, those things don't apply because you are in a different space. You are just inside yourself and that's why we recommend that people have the support and share to people and talk to people. But some people don't have that and that's why I tell people I don't condemn suicide and I to people and talk to people. But some people don't have that and that's why I tell people I don't condemn suicide and I don't wish suicide on anybody. But I do understand why some people end up doing it?

Speaker 2: 28:54

Yeah, so I have never contemplated it myself. That's amazing. I can see how people get there. Trust me, I've been through a lot in my life, but I think for me my saving grace has been my children, and I always say, listen, I cannot let anybody else raise them, I have to be here. So that means I have to push through. So I always dangled my own carrot and that that is what kept me going, is that I always said, listen, my children there's my children were my carrot. I have to be there for them. That means I have to push through. So, even even like I have to celebrate my small wins. So when I am feeling like I am just hopeless, and listen, I raised them, my older two, I raised them by myself.

Speaker 2: 29:49

You know, there have been times where I thought I can't raise these kids, maybe they need a different mother because the father wasn't in the picture. Yeah, he was around, but he wasn't helping. He wasn't around the picture. Yeah, he was around, but he wasn't helping. He wasn't, he wasn't around for us. He was just around, you know, just to say, hey, I have a son. You know, hey, I have a daughter. And listen, and there were times where he even went back and forth with the daughter.

Speaker 1: 30:13

His daughter was, his daughter wasn't his, you know all that bs, but um to get out of their responsibilities, I'm telling you, and it's like, okay, I have to really be there for them, because if nobody is wanting my children, I want them.

Speaker 2: 30:32

I gave birth to them, I carried them, I want them, and so I have to be around for them because I don't want anybody else to raise them. I, I deserve them and they deserve me. I don't want anybody else to raise them. I, I deserve them and they deserve me. And so when I had those moments where I felt focused, when I was choosing between pampers, gas and food, like I had to rock paper scissors, it like on a daily basis, and I'm like 23 years old, with two kids that are 15 months apart, so I had to rock paper scissors, it Okay, well, today we're going to eat, you know. So they went sleep.

Speaker 2: 31:05

You know, gas was always a constant for me, even though it was always a choice. I'm like, okay, maybe somebody will give me some gas money, you know, but I, my kids, certainly have slept without pampers, but I know I had to feed them and there was even a time I went to, I lived off of ramen noodles and tuna fish for a very long time because it was cheap and it would stretch, you know, or even bananas, like my kids had to eat, so I would just boil some. And of course, I'm an island girl for your audience that doesn't know me, but I'm an island girl, I'm from the Virgin Islands and so we eat green bananas and we would boil the bananas until it gets soft, we would mash them and we would mix it with butter and I would feed that to my kids and they would eat bananas. They would eat mangoes, but they would eat everything you know, and they would eat a little bit of the ramen noodles and tuna fish. You know they ate early. You know they thought it would table food early because that's that's what we needed. That's that's where I was at.

Speaker 2: 32:03

So in those moments, yeah, I'm losing my mind and I'm thinking I want to give my kids up, but I never allowed my mind to go so low that I would think that, ok, I want to take myself out because I was like I have to be there for them. So when you find your purpose, like you, something like you mentioned your dad. You mentioned your dad is is you and your dad are very close, you know. And when you think about exactly if you're not here, how is he going to go on without you? That's that was. That's what got in my head. How, how would my kids go on without you? That's what got in my head. How would my kids go on without me? That's what kept me going. That was what fueled my resilient spirit. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 32:58

It does. It does you and your kids are. I have my dad, but that's what I'm saying. Some of us are lacking or blessed even to have that purpose. That makes us not go above it, the thought, or even into the thought. There are those people who don't.

Speaker 2: 33:23

Yeah, and you said you had done this to downloads. You know, and your podcast is what really kept you afloat. You know, my kids is what kept me afloat, you know, because I didn't have a support system. I was just by myself. My parents were not helping, the father wasn't helping, my siblings were doing their own thing. You know, I just felt like, ok, it's just me and these babies and we're going to make it through no matter what, even if I have to give them up. That was what I contemplated. I contemplated giving my kids up because I felt they deserved better than what I could give them, because I felt they deserved better than what I could give them At 23,.

Speaker 2: 34:06

I mean living on an island, I mean, if you've ever lived on an island or lived in any type of a place that's dependent on tourism or rural areas, it could get really expensive and not all places have that government assistance, and that's another thing that people don't really consider. Not all the places have government assistance to swoop in and and help you and say, here, have this. You know, yeah, same thing there in america. I think that's why people get so so enamored with the american dream is because americans have a lot of resources, you know, and, and when we as outsiders we come in and we look at it, we're like, yeah, they're pissing on their blessings because I wish they had this in my country. So I'm going to come here and I'm going to use the resources because y'all just tripping. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 34:59

It's like I got to survive, I got to eat. I got to survive, I got to get my rent. Got to eat, I got to survive. I got to get my rent paid, my mortgage paid, I got to get my job, all that stuff. Come on now, say your shit, girl. Say your shit, use it. You have to use it. Like I said, I had to become my own champion and I had to become my own source of strength because I knew that there was nobody else to do it. But I had to overcome. I'm an overcomer that's really how I describe myself because even around that time I had already overcome so much. I had so much that I was carrying in my trauma knapsack with these two kids that that was traumatic, how I had to really feed them, and I just felt like it wasn't even fair to them to have to live that way because they didn't ask to be here.

Speaker 1: 35:57

You know, and that's the thing when you say overcome, right, that part, that's how, also, I feel. Whenever I get into those thoughts I'm like, but listen, I've overcome so much. Where I am right now, every shit that I felt like I couldn't pass through, I got through. And why give up now, when it feels so much closer because I'm not where I was? That means I'm just getting closer. So that kind of keeps me like we gotta keep fighting man. We gotta keep, we gotta be resilient, because I know the life I want and I'm not gonna stop until I get the life I want exactly.

Speaker 2: 36:43

And I think when you align your goals like that, you line them up, even write them out and put them on a big billboard where you can see them every day and you can look at it and you can stay aligned. When you set your intent for yourself and you say it out loud and you do your affirmations, you know I feel like it sticks and so that kind of serves as your platform for what you're going to do, what your next move is going to be. It sets your foundation for success essentially. You know so. When you tell yourself I'm not going to be, it sets your foundation for success essentially. You know so.

Speaker 2: 37:15

When you tell yourself I'm not going to be a statistic, I'm not going to be that girl I'm, you know, and my thing was I left home at like 23 years old. I left home, actually I was 24. I left home at 24. So, leaving the Virgin Islands and coming to America with two small kids, I said to myself I will never go back and I would make it. So I will never go back because there was a lot of people that were leaving the island and going to the States and you know they wouldn't make it and then they would have to come back home with a tail between their legs, move back in with their parents and live that island life again. And I said to myself when I go to America, I'm going to have me a plan and, and don't mind, I have these two kids, I'm going to be successful because I want them to have the life that I didn't have. I don't want them to struggle as much, but I want them to struggle just enough to keep them humble. Does that make sense? It does. Yeah, I want them to struggle just enough to keep them humble, because you always have to know where you come from and you always have to know that with God, all things are possible. That is one of my favorite sayings. With God, all things are possible. So is one of my favorite sayings With God, all things are possible. So I stand strong in my faith and my dad used to tell me.

Speaker 2: 38:38

He used to say Noreen, I used to come downstairs to check on you. I lived in a downstairs apartment, a two-bedroom apartment that my dad built beneath their house, and I lived there with my kids. And he said Noreen, there are times that I would come down to check on you and these kids, because it was just you and those kids. You're such a quiet person I wanted to make sure you were okay, he said. But every time I come down there and I look through the window, you're on your knees praying and the thing is I would hear him.

Speaker 2: 39:04

I didn't know somebody was there. I would hear it was a gravel walkway and so I would hear the gravel, but when I would look I wouldn't see anybody. So all those times that I would hear the gravel and I wouldn't see anybody, I was like, oh, maybe I was hearing things. But when he told me that that's what he was doing, I put two and two together and he said I always saw you praying and I didn't want to disturb your prayer, so I just figured I'd come back at a different time. I just figured I'd come back at a different time and that just made me even. It made me feel good that my dad was just like supportive of that. You know he knew what I was going through, because you know.

Speaker 1: 39:46

Because he was a guardian angel, because imagine your dad all the time coming at the time when you were on your knees praying. That's a guardian angel watching over you, yeah.

Speaker 2: 39:56

Yeah, I always felt like there was somebody present. You know I am no stranger to my belief of a higher power and higher beings. You know I believe in angels, I believe in guardian angels, I believe in circumstances. You know I believe in things happening for a circumstances. You know I believe in in things happening for a reason, you know. But I also had a lot of belief in myself, like when you're like I, I never needed people to validate me. I've always just validated myself. And I think that's where I thrive, in that bubble, where I know I can do it. You may not think I can do it, but I know I can do it and I don't need to say let me show you, I'm just going to do it because I don't have to prove anything to anybody. And so my kids grew up with that same spirit. They are very independent and they are very spirited and they understand, hey, you have to really just work your way through some stuff in your life, you know.

Speaker 1: 41:01

All right. Well, you all had Miss Noreen preach over here, so we are going to come to an end, as it's already one hour and I'm trying to make this not longer than one hour. It's already one hour and I'm trying to make this not longer than one hour, I know. Thank you for joining us. I mean, it was a very if this conversation doesn't inspire anybody, because there was about love, there was about dating, there was about gym and there was about faith and we wrapped it up with resilience.

Speaker 1: 41:31

So if you're out there right now thinking about giving up, just know there are people out there who are willing to talk to you if you need talking to, to pray with you, if you need praying for, or who have gone through that same place. You are right now and gotten out, and they might not be driving, but you know, one day at a time. So reach out to the people around you. I mean you can even reach out to me on the ring, we don't mind If you're going through something and need a listening ear, you know, just slide in our DMs. Yeah, there you go. Slide in the DMs, you know just sliding our dms.

Speaker 2: 42:15

Yeah, there you go, sliding the dms, you know, and you can leave anybody with any. Any advice on anything. You know. We talk about resilience, you know. And bouncing back it's not to say that you're not gonna fall, it's how you get up. But when you get up, my, my, my advice is you get up. Do not just get up. Get up with a plan, have a plan of action, because if you just get up and you're just doing the same thing, then you're going to keep falling. So you have to have a plan to get you out of your situation. Get to your root cause. Why am I even down here? In the first place? You may need to change your circle. You may need to change your circle. You may need to change your mindset. But come up with a new plan so that you would be able to bounce back, bounce forward, so that you would be successful.

Speaker 1: 43:06

So true. And sometimes even your surroundings. You know, change of surroundings can help you thrive. Oh my God, I cannot. And I was sharing this earlier, right? I was sharing this earlier right? These are all my podcasts.

Speaker 1: 43:26

This was from the first one I attended in 2022. This was in 2023 and 2024. And all of them you see how it went from. This was the first one, so I went from one to this to this. It shows and I like that I have them because it shows belonging in a community that actually sees you, that accepts you, that supports you, that nurtures you, that pours into you as much as you pour into yourself, because sometimes we don't see our growth. I look at this and I see my growth. I'm like, oh my God, look, when I went there the first time, where I was, and because of these people, I didn't give up, I kept on going. I became Lizzie, and so community is very a big factor of for me anyways, and it should be for most of people. So, but as we come to an end, ms Noreen, please let the people know where they can find you, what you're up to, if there's any amazing stuff for them to look out to, what you're up to if there's any amazing stuff for them to look out to.

Speaker 2: 44:37

Yes, so, noreen Foy. For those of you that are experiencing me for the first time, I am the founder of the Save Our Sisters not-for-profit group and host of Save Our Sisters Unplugged, and those platforms are dedicated to resilience, and I empower women to share their survival to success journeys through the power of storytelling, so I encourage them to share what has happened to them. So, in my spaces, that is what I do. I'm a lover of empowerment women. I'm on LinkedIn, facebook Join my Facebook group it's Save Our Sisters group. Also on YouTube, please subscribe. I am trying to grow my community there, as I will be doing a lot more in that space. And if you are in the Peoria Illinois area, we do have.

Speaker 2: 45:27

I have teamed up with my good girlfriend, keisha Woods, of Upgraded Mindsets. We are putting on yes, we are putting on a luncheon, and the theme is renewing our resilience, excuse me, renewing our resilience, managing life after loss. And loss is not just loss of life. Loss could be loss of opportunities, it could be loss of a loved one, it could be loss of job. You know, it could be just loss of yourself, because sometimes you can lose yourself in relationships. We're going to dive into it all. So it's going to be on March 16th from 12 to 3 pm and it's going to be at the Eastport Banquet Center, which is in East Peoria. At the Eastport Banquet Center, which is in East Peoria, illinois. It's at the East Peoria Marina. It's beautiful. I got married in that facility.

Speaker 2: 46:21

So, just encouraging the women to come out for an afternoon of fellowship, we are going to be giving away a scholarship and we are also going to be donating prom dresses to a group here called it Takes a Village, and so their mission is to not only donate the prom dresses to girls that cannot have, but they do so much more in our community here.

Speaker 2: 46:44

So we've got a lot going on and there's a lot of sisters out there that's just really trying to empower and uplift and what we do is we just group up together because, you know, one group can't do it, all you know. And it does take a village and that was always my slogan for everything in life it does take a village. So I appreciate you inviting me to be on your Shit Happens episode, because a lot of shit was happening today and I was late and I was really bad and unprofessional, but thank you for giving me grace. I hope your audience gives me grace Because you know life just happens, and it happens quickly, and all you have to do is, just like we're talking about, bounce back from it.

Speaker 1: 47:29

I mean, if they don't give you grace, then they're really not my people, because my people, we are all about giving grace. And look, I mean we are on. Shit Happens literally, so it is what it is. I mean you still made it. You dropped some gems and we had a blast, so that's all that matters. Thank you for still jumping on and they heard you on the loudspeaker when you called to freak out a bit. So it's fine. They had a little entertainment. But everybody else and I want to reach out to Ana to know more about the donated dress, the prom dress, ana, to know more about that. So we'll talk offline. But everybody who joined in, thank you for hanging out with me. Sorry for that technical difficulties, sorry for the uh guests being late, but I hope I entertained you in the beginning for a few minutes. You had me. I still showed up. I hope you learned to listen on showing up, staying consistency and being resilient and faith having faith. So until next time, shit happens.

Speaker 2: 48:42

Peace and blessings Shit happens, shit, shit happens, shit, shit happens, shit, shit, shit, shit happens, shit happens, shit happens, shit happens, shit happens, shit happens.