S7E12 - The Power of Connections: Transforming Lives Through Authentic Human Connections & Uncovering Human Bonds While Navigating The Digital World!!

Have you ever pondered the power of human connection and how it can alter your path in life? Our guest, Rob Lawless, set out on a monumental mission to spend one hour with 10,000 individuals and discovered the ripple effects that ensue from genuine human connections. He shares his captivating story of leaving a corporate job to launch a tech startup and how he navigated through societal pressures to prioritize personal fulfillment. Rob's journey showcases the importance of forging your own route, recognizing that each person's path is unique and different. 

This episode also delves into the mental health implications of sharing emotional stories and the courage it takes to veer off the beaten path, a narrative that is often suppressed. Rob's tale of transition is not without its challenges - from a lack of support from family and friends to the mental toll of venturing into the unknown. Still, his story serves as a beacon for others, proving that pursuing passion can lead to profound fulfillment. We examine the transformative potential of authenticity and the profound impact it can have on our daily interactions and relationships.

As we navigate through the conversation, we explore universal insecurities, the definition of success, and the influence of recognition on future human connections. Discussions on being a Special guest on Kerry Clarkson,  and how  appearances on popular platforms have led to exhilarating opportunities. We wrap up the episode by highlighting the positive impact of human connections on mental health and the transformative power of welcoming new experiences.

Rob Lawless, a 32-year-old originally from Norristown, PA, graduated summa cum laude from Penn State University in 2013 with a Finance degree and minors in Accounting & Entrepreneurship. 

After a stint at Deloitte Consulting, he embraced a new direction, joining the $24 million venture-funded RJMetrics. Transitioning to sales at RJ, Rob embarked on a unique project in 2015—meeting people for an hour for no specific reason. 

Following RJMetrics' acquisition in 2016, he committed full-time to meeting 10,000 individuals and to-date, he has connected with over 5,400 people from 90+ countries, earning media coverage.

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Transcript

Journey of Connection and Personal Growth

Rob 0:00

Right, because to me, having the I don't know like the name brand food is not interesting enough. What's interesting to me is doing this pet, like the trade off of work, doing the same reports, going to the same office, being around the same people every day so you can afford those things. It's just not interesting enough to me, but it is for other people. That's why it's such a. It's one of the things I've learned through my path too is like we are all on our own individual paths and I think once I realize that it's like I look at my life as my life and I don't need to look at my life as compared to my friends. I don't need to look at my life as compared to people on social media, because when I'm, like 90 years old, on my deathbed, are those people on social media going to care about me at that point? No, absolutely not.

Rob 0:55

So I have kind of a mindset now. I feel like and I think it's a mindset most people should adopt is that you have to earn the right to have an opinion on what I'm doing with my life and like, if you haven't taken the time to get to know me and be there for me and stuff I'm really. I'll take your ideas into account but, like on a very deep level, you have to earn the right for me to really like want to change my path in any way Because of what you say, and I think everyone should be that way, because when you get more into Hi shitokers, welcome to Talksio Whipy, and I am your host, paula the shitoker.

Paula 1:35

I mean, don't we all like talking shit anyways? Are you a creator? If so, you are in the right space. Talksio Whipy is a place where we showcase and celebrate the talents, works and stories of creative minds from all walks of life, while also raising awareness for mental health through providing a supportive space to share their stories, insights and experiences. We will be discussing creative journeys, the high lows and the ways we manage our mental health through it all. Join us each week for inspiring conversations, useful resources and a community of like-minded creators as we dive into the minds of creative beings to explore their journeys, struggles and triumphs. So, whether you are a seasonal creative or just starting out, talksio Whipy is the podcast for you. Hello, you are finally on my side now. Welcome to Talksio Whipy.

Rob 2:36

Yeah, it's good to be here. Thank you for having me.

Paula 2:39

Thank you for saying yes. Now for people who don't know, I actually just came across Rob Lee's entry and we're going to talk about his mission and his journey and shout out to my foes. This is the reason I got a hold of him and we had a conversation and I was just like you want to be part of my season seven. And here we are. So thank you for saying yes, rob.

Rob 3:02

Yes, the ripple effects of connection.

Paula 3:05

Right, right. So, rob, your mission is spending one hour one on one with 10,000 people. That is truly a fascinating journey. What inspired you to do this?

Rob 3:22

I grew up in the suburbs of Philadelphia and I'm the youngest of three in my family, so both of my older siblings went to Penn State University, which is let's take a big school in the center of Pennsylvania not to be confused with Penn, the Ivy League school. But yeah, I went to the state school, the party school we have 40,000 students and I think my social experience there was a bigger part of college than my academic experience. So I still did well in school and stuff. But I studied finance. But then I was a tour guide for prospective students. I did this fundraiser to raise money for the fight against pediatric cancer. I was part of Habitat for Humanity, so I built houses over Spring Break. I was a homecoming captain and I think that's it. I just did a lot and I met a lot of people.

Paula 4:14

And you studied finance. Finance is not an easy subject.

Rob 4:21

Yeah, well, my roommate studied electrical engineering and he used to tell me that I studied shapes and colors because his was much harder than mine. But, yeah, I liked business, I like finance and I like the application of it. Like how much opportunity you had coming out of school. But, yeah, I was always out like every Thursday, friday, saturday, out at parties and whatnot. But it just became a way for me to meet a bunch of new people and I would create a lot of relationships through the clubs and through class. So, all of a sudden, 40,000 people felt like 40 people, like it just felt like I knew everyone on campus and I would always run into people, whether I was out at the bars or on the way to class. So I went from that environment.

Rob 5:05

I graduated 2013 and then I went into consulting for Deloitte. So I went from like a big campus knowing everyone to a cubicle knowing no one, and that was a really hard transition for me and I also minored in entrepreneurship. So I feel like I had one foot in the corporate world, one foot out of the door, from the very start and as I was working for Deloitte and making great money and I had a girlfriend at the time and I was checking all the boxes that you're supposed to check after school, I just didn't find myself to be fulfilled. So I was like, okay, something's not right here and I don't know what it is. I just had either the confidence or the naivety to be willing to change my situation without fearing the risks of it.

Rob 5:48

So I left Deloitte after a year and three months and went to a tech startup that had 24 million in funding at the time and I had to pay back $5,000 of a bonus to quit Deloitte, to take a pay cut, to go work at this startup, and for me it was just like, yeah, sure, that makes sense. So then I was at the startup, I moved into Philly for that job and when I was there I felt like I could recreate that sense of community that I had at Penn State, and I had already been kicking this idea around as a potential entrepreneurial journey that I could go on, and I wanted it to be my career. So I figured I'll meet 10,000 people, because that forces you to do it full time as a career, otherwise you'll never complete it, and I wanted to be a positive example of human connection for other people and I wanted to get back to that sense of community. So I started meeting people in Philly in November of 2015. And the girl that I just met was number 5,800.

Paula 6:43

Which girl the?

Rob 6:44

girl that I just hopped off the call.

Paula 6:51

The thing is in my head. You went to a different girl and I remember you know my brain went somewhere else. My bad, wow, that's impressive. And I feel like you did college the right way, because I tell people if you are not as social in college, because I feel like college, that was the main purpose of it. I also did a lot in college.

Paula 7:17

I was in the international clubs, I was in the events industry, I was going to camping, I would pass my campus and I knew everybody. I was in events already. I was studying hospitality, so we're already like always doing shit around campus, but I would know people who were studying finance, who were in the different programs, and people would be like how do you know these people? I constantly have to organize events, I have to talk to people of different sectors, I have to mingle, and I think that I was over a friend of mine that used to say that you know way too many people, or I'm like no too many people know me, but I loved being social and now I went to like after COVID I went like anti-social, but you did college the right way. So, speaking of your mission right, what would you say has been the most profound moments you have experienced through this journey and interactions Because that's a lot of interactions, like you're in 5000 and what again right now 5800.

Paula 8:30

That's a lot of interactions.

Rob 8:36

Yeah, yeah, it's a lot, I don't know. I think that there's a. When you ask that question, I think about certain people that I met and then I think about, like, certain experiences which I can get into in the project, and then I think about how I've grown from the entrepreneurial journey. So there's a handful of different categories, but I have just met so many people. A couple of weeks ago I had, and I feel like it's all empathy, right. If you gain empathy when you hear other people's stories and then you start to see life in their perspective instead of your own and you're like unlearning your own filter and learning how to adopt theirs as you look at situations, and if you're not doing it on a daily, weekly, monthly basis, I think you lose the ability to do that. I think empathy is a muscle that has to constantly be exercised. But I met a few weeks ago I there was a woman that I met. Her mom died when she was dying from a blood clot from she pulled a muscle playing tennis, died three days later, and then her dad died within the next three years. And I met a guy before that same week. His dad died of a heart attack when he was five. His mom was a severe alcoholic. He and his siblings were taken from her and put in with his aunts and uncles. I met a guy from the Philippines. His dad died last year, but his dad had spent his life in Saudi Arabia working to support the family. So this guy is that I was 19. Throughout his life he had only spent a month and a half total with his dad Because his dad was constantly working to support the family, and then he passed away. Now they don't have like the breadwinner of the family anymore, so he's kind of finding his footing and stepping into that role. And I met another woman again, this is all the same week. Her dad Committed suicide, when she was four years old, I believe and then, two weeks before she was set to leave for college, her older brother committed suicide. So it's like you think about if you're getting all of that in one week, and I've been doing this now for Almost eight years. November will be eight years. You can just take that as a sample size and think about how much you would grow as a person in whatever 52 times eight is. And Then one of the coolest moments for my project was I was on Kelly Clarkson's talk show in 2019 and it was definitely the biggest piece of media that I had ever done and Still to this point, that I had had ever done.

Rob 11:12

But the whole audience was made up of people that I had met through my project, so it was profound in the sense that, like I'm meeting these people and Kind of just like us having this podcast, just because I meet them once doesn't mean I'll never see them again, and in this situation, they were all together as a community for one of the most important days of my career. I think that was really cool, just to see. It's like alchemy, right, because it at one point was just an idea in my head that I decided to take action on and, as a result, then there's a room full of people that I know that don't know each other but are forming connections with each other because they had this shared experience of seeing me and then they're part of the audience. So that was really cool. And then I think, being on the entrepreneurial journey of like Starting from a consulting salary and with a finance degree and going all the way to 2018, I had $500 left in my bank account and then in 2019 I had $200 left and and then in COVID I was 30 years old, living in my childhood bedroom without the ability to move out like I could, just couldn't afford it.

Rob 12:23

So there's a lot of questioning like am I crazy for doing this? Is the judgment that other people have of my path True, or am I just in a period right now where I still have to grime and then the future will be brighter? And I think it really tests you when things aren't going your way. But you still have to show up every day and I think those have been some of the moments that I've grown the most in.

Paula 12:52

So much to unpack over there I don't even know where to start, but this is a lot of things that I want to dig in. Let's go to Carrie Clarkson, because I'm a big fan. How did you end up getting into Carrie Clarkson, like, how did that happen?

Rob 13:07

Yeah, it sounds like it would be really complicated, but they just DM'd me on Instagram.

Paula 13:12

No, you never expect an answer. I know we sometimes are the ones who like Constantly keep DMing people to give their attention, but to think like, oh, they can actually just send me a DM, just like that, and be like, hey, you want to come on? Did you feel like it was maybe like a spam or somebody's playing a joke on you? Or did you actually be like, oh, fuck, yeah, okay.

Rob 13:40

Yeah, well, it's funny because I think they DM me.

Story Sharing's Impact on Mental Health

Rob 13:42

Like it was like july 25th of 2019 or something, and the year before, like july 26th of 2018, I had an email that was like I want to get you on air with Ryan Seaprest, and then I was on his show, and then the next, it was like a year and a day earlier, it was Kelly Clarkson and I was like, okay, I'm on this annual july American Idol kick here, so I was waiting for 2020, but it never came. But, yeah, it was like one of the producers DM me and it's just a matter of serendipity. The timing worked out because, one, her show was new and, two, they had a good neighbor theme to it. So they were looking for stories that fit that theme and I had just been covered by CBS Philadelphia and the Philadelphia Empire. So, like at the time that they were searching for these human connection stories, mine had just been published, so I don't think that I would be able to get on her show today because it's more established.

Rob 14:43

I don't know if they still have that theme. Like, I haven't had recent press on my project. So it's just a serendipitous moment where it all came together.

Paula 14:53

I mean we're not moving back. What giant I mean, rob, you're gonna get to bigger and bigger shows because you have also evolved and grown and became even more bigger. So we've already done that, so we're gonna wait for newer.

Rob 15:09

Yeah.

Paula 15:11

Well, also, you shared about all the stories in just one week. And, um, how, how does hearing all these people share the stories? Because right now, just you giving me the clip, not I, didn't spend an hour with it and I know how emotional and empathetic I like I'm a softy. So does that affect your mental health? Hearing, like you know, losing a father, suicide, all those every one hour, the stories in a week, how does that Make, how do you keep your mental health same hearing all the stories?

Rob 15:48

I think part of it, probably the biggest piece, is that I'm able to then share these stories. So if you think about it like the information comes in and then it goes out and I think with mental health in general, it builds up when we don't have a release for it, right, and we like yes. We have issues going on and we don't talk about them and they get bottled up and then eventually it explodes.

Paula 16:15

Blow up, yep.

Rob 16:17

Yeah, but for me I'm able to share, and I don't share everything that people tell me, but For the most part I'm able to be pretty candid with the stories that I write, so I think that's helpful. I think another thing is Maybe it's just the way that I'm wired, like I can acknowledge people's experiences and hold space for them, but I don't feel the need to solve their lives and I think that's something that they Really appreciate like they don't want the, the, they don't want me to come in and say, well, here's what you should do. Oh, you should do this. I feel so bad, you've got to do this. They just want someone to talk to that. They don't really need to bounce things back.

Rob 16:55

And I think that I've gotten really good At that and I can and I think there's nuance to it too being able to hear really sad things of people's lives and how you take in that information, like I think I'm Much better at it now than I was Not eight years ago, but yeah, it's wild.

Rob 17:15

I mean, I was kind of thrown into the fire with that. The very second person that I met Was an artist in Philly, and I met him at his studio and he was showing me his art, which was really cool, and he said that there was a Dark period that his art went through for years. And he was like, yeah, one day my dad was sitting in his armchair and he got up, went in the other room and shot himself with a shotgun and took his own life. And I don't know if I was equipped To handle that type of information at that time, but you learned very quickly how to interact and what you're supposed to do. So, yeah, I think that's part of it, as well as just not feeling the need to solve people's issues but acknowledge them.

Paula 17:59

And that's so true and and it's something that I also started learning, cause, um, I've started preaching to people because I used to make the same mistake, and I think that's why sometimes, when our friends wanted to talk to us with certain stuff, it would drain us, because, instead of just listening and allowing the person to vent and just stop, we are quickly wanting to fix it like it's a puzzle.

Paula 18:20

It's not our job to fix, it's just Listen and just lend a shoulder. You know, sometimes, most of the time, people just want to Talk to somebody and not like, and that's why sometimes, even people I feel like our friends don't come to us because they feel like, if I share, they're gonna want to give me advice or an opinion or A way to solve it, but I don't want them to solve it, I don't want advice, I just want them to listen. So that's that's something that I've been learning to do too, because I've been worse on that, like I always want to fix and fix, and fix, but then I realized I can't even fix my own shit. Why do I want to fix?

Rob 19:02

Yeah, one thing at a time.

Paula 19:04

Right. But I also want to give you A good answer. Most of us, even though in our lives we are not happy, even though we grow up thinking that life is supposed to be this way, you go to college, you come out of college, you get the corporate job, you get the boyfriend, girlfriend, you get the house, you get married and then we end up. That's why so many people are miserable, because they've done all that but then they're not happy because that's not the last. They're not actually enjoying that life, but it has been made in our minds that that's how we are supposed to live. But I like the fact that you realize okay, this is for me, and decided to find your own path.

Path to Pursuing a Passion

Paula 19:52

So how was the support? Because I feel like certain people can't leave that job and start doing something, like you know, especially when our parents or your friends they might be laughing at you. They might be like what? You're leaving your corporate job to go be a podcaster. Are you crazy? Like what the fuck is that? So sometimes some people don't end up doing that because they lack of support. How was your support when you decided to venture into this life? Especially when you say, when you left your job, you had to give back the money, and that can be easy, right. And then eventually you had to move back home into your childhood house. Some people feel like, oh my God, I'm moving back home. That's already failing. How are my friends going to look at me? How are people going to judge me? All those things, how did that work out for you?

Rob 20:43

Yeah, I think that for some while I was trusting myself and like I feel like I calibrated that trust through little things like my study habits in college, I knew I could go out Thursday, friday, saturday, because I knew I was disciplined enough to spend all of Saturday and all of Sunday in the library and like going to the gym. It became non-negotiable for me where I'd go to the gym Monday, wednesday, friday. It's like it's not, oh, I'm tired today, so I don't go. It's like, no, this isn't non-negotiable, so you go, because I know this is good for my health. So when I started the project, I kind of had that same mindset as well, and I met eight people before I ever started the Instagram account and I was like, ok, I met eight, I'm going to meet 10,000. I know I'll commit until the end. And when I took it full time, my brother I'm the youngest, that's three. Like I said, I have an older brother who's two years older than me and a sister who's six years older than me and my brother was like well, when I first told him I wanted to go full time before I was laid off from my job, he was like I don't think that's a good idea. You have to have money. But I said, if I do, would you support me? And he was like yeah, of course. So mentally and emotionally, he was always there from the beginning.

Rob 22:03

My parents and my sister struggled with it. I remember when I was laid off. To them it was like you're not realizing the reality of this situation. You have to get a job, you have to be working, you have to work your way up in a corporate ladder, and if you don't do that, you're going to end up homeless in the street somewhere. And that was their worry. And that worry existed for years and I think it still does to an extent, but especially when I was laid off from the tech startup. So I worked with them until they were acquired. That's why I was laid off. I had met like 100 people. I was eight months into this project, decided to jump into it full time, finished out my lease in Philly, which was 11 more months, and then my friend in LA was willing to host me. So I spent the summer with him.

Rob 22:52

But then, at 27 years old, I moved back in with my parents no job, no income, no girlfriend. In their mind they were like well, all your friends are proposing right now. And what are you doing? And all your friends are getting promoted in their jobs. What are you doing? So my parents were not and I love my parents. I come from a very loving family, so you have to see here all of this through that filter but they were really worried, so they weren't like, oh, we're so proud of you, you're doing such a cool thing.

Rob 23:21

It was more of like you have to stop this project and get a job. And I would fight them on it and I would continue doing what I would do. And multiple times my dad would be like you have to stop, you have to stop this project and go back to a job. And I'd be like will people take on partnerships through social media? And be like well, other people do, but you can't, it's not working out for you, it's not going to work for you. And then, oh, people can learn how to speak. Oh, well, other people can speak, but not you. So it was not a thing and I really had to pull them through, kind of like just the. I had to pull them up to the view and be like here. Look, here's what I told you, and I think I heard a quote that was like other people can't see your vision until it's real.

Rob 24:09

And I firmly believe in that, and I think that one of the issues which I empathize with my parents too was I couldn't tell them here is exactly the plan of how this is going to work and how I'm going to support myself, and so, because I couldn't explain it to them, they thought it would never happen. But I always say I was willing to walk in the darkness long enough to uncover the answers, and I think that's where a lot of people get stuck is they take one step into the darkness and they're like nope, not. For me, the answer is not there Too dark.

Rob 24:37

Yeah, so but I will say, like my friends were really supportive as well. So my friends and my brother were always there, my sister came around, my parents have since come around, and the other thing was the people who were part of my project. Like I might have had my parents being really worried about me, but every day, four times a day, I was meeting with people who were like this is so cool, it's so inspiring what you're doing. So you kind of balanced out the top.

Paula 25:03

And then the people your push where the push wasn't being given.

Rob 25:08

Yeah, yeah, exactly. The other thing is I'm just stubborn enough or confident or naive enough, whatever to it just became. I got to the point where I went all in, I think because once you the fears like I'm going to run out of money, and then, as you get to like close to zero dollars in your bank account, I literally thought about it. I was like if I hit zero dollars in the bank account, it's not like I die and they remove me from earth because they're like game over. It's like okay, well, now I have to figure out path forward and I could do a go fund me, I could go back to consult.

Rob 25:44

Like in my mind, I was like rock bottom is having to interview for a six figure salary job. It's just not what I want to do, but that option is there. It's not like it's not like my finance degree was taken away from me. It's not like my Deloitte experience was taken away from me or my startup experience and I could always spin the story of what I was working on to lend a new job. So, yeah, I always say like rock bottom had a big pillow on top of it and I'm lucky that that was from my experience, the support system that I had and, ironically, like the loving family that I grew up in and the confidence my parents allowed me to develop as a kid, and that's so true.

Paula 26:26

You know what you say Because I remember when my sister was starting her business and it was PIA marketing, and back in the days PIA marketing wasn't as important as it is right now. You know, when it was still so, I was like what the fuck is that? Like you have a whole, did we go get a job? It felt like most of our parents. They felt like, unless you're in the corporate world, then no, and we understand, because my parents are loving and you have to understand that it does come in a loving place. They're just wide, like you need to have money, you need to leave and especially then be parents like, yes, we're here right now, you have a roof. You have to know what, if we're going tomorrow, what you're going to do so and all these things. They're still new to them, like the social media work, the people being content creators, and it's a new world for them. They didn't grow up without work, so it's not easy for them to understand and see how you're going to make a life with this kind of work or anything, even though they want to support, like the love is there but they're still not getting it. And they say, unless people don't see the full picture can never fully understand. And I think that's where most people end up giving up, because they feel like oh, if they're not seeing my vision, maybe I'm wrong. No, as long as you're seeing your vision and you know where your vision is going, even if you can't explain it, you just got to keep going. I tell people all the time like I've been broke and I didn't die, it's okay. And there are people who have been in corporate worlds and shit has also failed. Like you know, covid has taught us that nothing is ever forever. Whether you're in the corporate world or you can be up today and you can be down tomorrow, so might as well be down by doing something you love. And eventually those people, eventually they'll come to see the light and they'll be like oh my God, I'm so proud of you and you're like I told you I got this. So you're supposed to be cocky and confident and because you can't want people to bet on you If you're not betting on yourself and not going full on in on yourself.

Paula 28:44

So I just had a conversation with a friend recently and she came to me. She was like I love how you're doing for your podcast, like you keep making this. You never I never know how I'm making it to conferences or shit by saying I'm going to go, I'm going to go, I'm going to quit my job. I know that conference is going to be something for my podcast. The connections, the networking, everything is what I need to be and I make it and I go.

Paula 29:08

She came and she told me she's like you know what? I think I'm going to quit my job and do this. She's entered in the finance world and she loves it and she went on a fast conference and she came back and she was very excited. She was like I understand why you guys share your stories and do the things you love and go. I'm going to quit my job and go, cause if I'm doing it with my job right now and this is how much I can imagine if I have my job and go all in, I'll be doing much more and I'm like do it. If that's what you want to do, do it. Like, fuck it and do it To see people these days that they are willing to do that and realize that they are wasting that time and that energy where they could be placing it, cause clearly my full time job is keeping me not go full in on this, and if I can get rid of it, why the fuck not Right? So thank you for inspiring everybody to do that. Everybody should do that, yeah.

Rob 30:11

And it's all. I think it's like part of it is your risk tolerance too right, and how much weight you're willing to hold, like I'm willing to go to the grocery store and shop not by what I want, but what is the cheapest price per ounce. Like I literally, like all of you, like oh well, the pretzels are so much cheaper than the chips, so I'm just going to get that, or yeah.

Paula 30:36

And the cheapest brand instead of the most expensive brand. They all put it at the end of the day, yeah.

Rob 30:43

I'm getting the giant store brand everything. Me too. I'm literally.

Paula 30:49

I'm like I only need this stuff. Yes, so I, literally a few days ago, my paycheck came in and it all went out and I was looking at my mom. I was like I only have $60. She's like what are you going to eat? I'm like I'm going to the grocery store. You wait and see how much I'm going to get for more. It was like all the cheapest things, but the things that I really needed that are going to last and I'm like okay, this is going to be enough until my next paycheck. We're going to keep moving.

Rob 31:17

Yeah, but it's like, yeah, it's like a preference thing, right? Because to me, having the I don't know like the name brand food is not interesting enough. What's interesting to me is doing this pet, like the trade off of work, doing the same reports, going to the same office, being around the same people every day, so you can afford those things. It's just not interesting enough to me, but it is for other people. That's why it's such a. It's one of the things I've learned through my path too is like we are all on our own individual paths, and I think once I realized that it's like I look at my life as my life and I don't need to look at my life as compared to my friends. I don't need to look at my life as compared to people on social media, cause when I'm, like, 90 years old, on my deathbed, are those people on social media going to care about me at that point? No, absolutely not.

Rob 32:16

So I have kind of a mindset now. I feel like and I think it's a mindset most people should adopt is like you have to earn the right to have an opinion on what I'm doing with my life, and like if you haven't taken the time to get to know me and be there for me and stuff. I'm really I'll take your ideas into account but, like on a very deep level, you have to earn the right for me to really like want to change my path in any way because of what you say. And I think everyone should be that way, cause when you get more into when pursuing things, like you should take people's advice for like going off the rails and they're like, hey, you should picture your life. But when pursuing things, it's not a race against other people, it's just a race against our own potential.

Paula 33:02

Yeah, and that's so true. And that thing, comparing, I think most, most of us, that's where we end up giving up or losing up or anything, cause you're comparing your first year to somebody's 50 or also, again, you don't know their journey. You watch, you see. That's the thing about social media it, it. It has a lot of benefit. But then the other side of it is we see what people decide to show you.

Paula 33:31

You don't know what is actually going on behind that. You don't know if they fall for six months. They were not, they were just surviving through flexors and water to make that shit happen. They don't show you the part. But when you just see them like, oh, my God, how can we just be doing that for six months? And it happened, yeah, but you don't end those six months if, instead of going out, it was putting every dollar, every cent, every energy, every sweat on this, while you are doing all this, but you're expecting the same result as that. So that's comparing thing at. It took me a while to understand like, listen, I'm on my own journey and what's meant for me will be. I just need to focus on my journey and what I am doing, that's all yeah.

Rob 34:18

Yeah, and that's another reason why I love meeting people is, you know, just from meeting with me when we met. It's just a very candid conversation, so I always say I'm rooted in reality. Only people I follow on Instagram are the people that I've met through my project, so my first exposure to them is their true, real story that we get to discuss. And then whatever I see on social media is like okay, well, I already know the foundation of who they are Like. They might be on this cool trip in the Bahamas, but I know that their dad passed away like six months ago. It's just so.

The Power of Genuine Human Connections

Paula 34:52

Such true, and that's what I like about your project, because, again, you are not interviewing people, you are literally just having conversations. Because I remember when I came, we had hours. Our conversation was like now I feel like, oh my God, I can't wait for when I finish cutting this I can ask you the shit that we were talking about, because I feel like, oh my God, we had this conversation. It was just like our conversation wasn't like an interview. You digging into my life for me, like you just start and wherever it leads, wherever it goes, it goes, and that makes the connection even much more better, because people just end up talking whatever they want to talk, not because you ask, they just share, and you make this connection. That's unbelievable. I love that. Yeah, and you emphasize the importance of treating connections as an experience and not as a transaction rather than a transaction.

Paula 35:51

So can you elaborate on how this shift in the mindset can transform our relationships and our daily interactions? Because, again, I like how you put that, because most of us do take this connection, these meetups, as transactions, like, oh, if I meet up or if I do this, then maybe they'll do this. It's always that, even the giving most people always end up giving things because they're expecting something back in return, and then they wonder why they're not getting blessed. Because you're supposed to give just to give and not expect anything in return, because the return might not. If I say I come to help you up today and I give you something, my return might not necessarily come from you, it might come from somebody else, especially when I'm not expecting it. Or you might end up knowing somebody and they share something and you're like you know what Paula was looking for something, because so I'm a connector, so the return is always from somewhere else or something when you're not expecting it or treating it as a transaction. So can you elaborate on the connection wise?

Rob 36:59

Yeah, I think when you treat it as an experience rather than a transaction, it opens up your peripheral vision to the value that you're getting out of that experience. Because if you go and say, like I do speaking engagements, so if I go and I'm like, well, I want to talk to Paula because I hope that she'll line me up with a speaking engagement and then I can have more money and do my thing and I talk with you, and then that doesn't become a result and I'm like, well, she's just not worth it, it's not, the conversation wasn't good, whatever. If I come and I'm like I want to experience this and have this conversation and I can learn about your path and like your family dynamic and your upbringing, there's just so much more value that people overlook when they go in with the intention of getting something out of it. When you sit back and you just experience it, you get like the increase sense of belonging, of the fact that you and I can hop on this not as strangers, but now we know each other, and it's like seeing a friend and it's like it's easy to chat because we already have the foundation of having taken the time to know each other. And then there's the knowledge transfer and then there's the perspective of sharing each other's stories, because we, like, have similarities of our backgrounds, we have differences of our backgrounds and, yeah, I think when you have no expectations and you treat it as an experience, you open yourself up to all of that value, instead of being pinpointed on one specific thing. I say happiness is the difference between expectation and reality. So, when you have no expectations, everything is a pleasant surprise.

Rob 38:33

And I think, too, like a lot of people will struggle to understand me wanting to meet so many people without an agenda, but I think a really easy way to think about it is like a foodie You're going to new restaurants to have the experience of trying a new meal, and it's not like you're going to enjoy every single meal that you eat and you might not go.

Rob 38:55

I think people have this idea where they're like well, if you talk with someone and you meet with them, then you have to be friends with them and you have to give the talk every month, otherwise it doesn't count, there's no value to it.

Rob 39:07

It's like well, if you go to a restaurant and you have a meal, do you have to go back every month and get that same meal in order for that to be a good experience. No, like you go to try and to explore and push your comfort zone and, of course, some meals you're going to be like this is awesome. We have to come back here someday and you will go back to that place because you gained that exposure to it and others will be like wow, that wasn't for me, but it was an interesting experience, like the way this tasted wasn't for me, or I didn't like the way they prepared this, and now you're at least aware of it to not go back, but you learned from that experience. So that's how I see connecting with people is almost like the same way that a foodie sees going out and trying new dishes at restaurants.

Paula 39:50

And that's so true because I've met people who have had incredible deep connection composition. Like you just meet randomly and talk and it has remained over there. We didn't have to look at. Some of us don't even exchange contacts Because at the moment that's what was needed, that's what happened. But then somehow in six months they find you because they were talking to somebody and they remember the conversation you had or something you shared, and then they connect you somebody out of the blue only because that conversation, that meeting, was genuine. It wasn't like, oh, please look for me. No, it was just like we had a conversation.

Paula 40:26

And if you live, I feel like, as you said, if you don't treat it as a transaction right, and you just take it as a genuine connection and whatever you shared was genuine and you all were having a genuine conversation, somehow it always just comes back. People remember you when opportunities come. They think of you because it was just genuine. They're like, oh my God, I know that girl. She was so genuine. Try to check out, this might be right for us. And it just happens. When you go with that intention of making it something out of nothing, it always bafayas.

Rob 41:05

Yeah, I agree, and I can look back on my project as so many times that the genuine conversation just did lead to life changing things. Like there was a guy that I met in. I met him in August of 2016. His name is Bernardo Margolis and we met and had our meeting and then three years later, I had just moved to Hoboken, new Jersey, and I guess he saw, like my story, that I was moving there and he said you should connect with my friend Michelle. She lives in Brooklyn, so I met her and she was the first person that I met in that stint in Hoboken and she's a public speaker and she was telling me about how cool that industry was and how well she was doing with it and she inspired me to get into public speaking and that's the sole way that I support myself on this journey now.

Rob 41:53

So my meeting with Michelle was a huge shift in my life. But my meeting with Michelle never happens if I don't have my meeting with Bernardo three years earlier and I didn't meet Bernardo being like, oh, I hope he introduces me to someone that will change my life someday, but it's cool, because I'm so thankful for that experience and I'm sure it's cool for him to be that connector, that like set up a valuable meeting in my life and when I met Bernardo it's not like we kept in touch. Afterwards I met him. I hadn't seen her talk to him since he popped back into my life in August of 2019. And then he popped back out. I haven't seen her talk to him since then. But that's not to say like I won't pop into his life in the future.

Paula 42:37

Yeah, I love that Because, again, on all these connections, the genuine ones, there will not be a transaction, but there'll be inspiration, knowledge, support and future. What's the word? Oh my God, my brain is not working. Yeah, but yeah, all that. So I think most of people suggest think of the short run instead of. You know, all these connections that you're building is something for the long haul. You know the future and, as you say, you hadn't spoken to him in three years or something and look what happened. So it's always the wrong. Oh my God, yeah, I know what you mean.

Paula 43:29

I should have had coffee or a shot this morning. Oh my God, I don't know what's going on with me, but your experiences, your experience in this journey from talking as range, from talking to CEOs to everyday people Like you, talk to just any and everybody, which I love. What would you say? What are the common threads have you discovered in these conversations? Because everybody has overcome extreme challenges, the CEOs, the everyday people. Everybody has had their own challenges and most people always assume the CEOs have the worst challenges or anything but the everyday people, the normal people, have also had worst challenges and you've had different challenges. But what would you say?

Universal Insecurities and Defining Success

Rob 44:21

the most common thread that you discovered in these conversations that highlight the universal power of human connection would be yeah, I always say that the biggest thing I've learned through my project is no one really knows what they're doing with their lives. Everyone's just doing the best they can with the resources that they have and I think about it like everyone is an amateur when it comes to reaching the next level of their goals. So I don't know. I think I've learned that everyone has insecurities and everyone has uncertainties, and I think when I really took that to heart, it humanized everyone, like I think people would look at someone like Taylor Swift and think, oh, she's got it all together. And I think that's a common misconception that people are. Like if you're rich and famous, of course you're happy, like you can't have problems. How could you have problems? You're rich and famous. But even when I talked with Kelly Clarkson on her show I remember when I was there I was like I mean, she's a confident singer, I'm sure, but she's not a talk show host, like she was new to that field at the time. So I'm sure she has some insecurities about being a talk show host and if her show completely bombs and the ratings are terrible and no one cares to listen to her, that's probably a shot to her ego and she's probably hoping that people care about it and she's probably nervous to do a good job. So it doesn't matter if they're a CEO or if they're a student or if they're a barista or whatever it might be. We all have our insecurities. And I think another thing too is like the pressure of people around us. A lot of us feel the pressure from our parents to choose a certain field or to succeed, to get married by a certain age or to have kids or whatever, and then a lot of us feel that pressure from society too to be a certain way. So that's just been universal and that's been really cool to talk to people from all different countries. It's like I'll talk to people from the Middle East who are like, yeah, my parents think I should go into this field. Or I'll talk to people from Asia the same thing in Africa, and I just think it's funny because it's like we're all living the same kind of experience. It's like a copy and paste but the details are different. But yeah, I think that those those been the big things like realizing that everyone has uncertainties and that the themes of our life are very similar.

Rob 46:41

And I, when I do my speaking engagements now, I talk about this friend framework which is family and relationships. It doesn't matter where you're from. We all have a family dynamic and relationships with friends. We have our industry, which is our education into our career. We all have some type of job to pay the bills or some type of education whatever. We all have ways of entertaining ourselves Hobbies, that people who we are outside of work. And then we all have needs and dreams for the future. It doesn't matter who you are. You have like a dream of what you want your life to look like, going forward. So that has kind of unified everyone in my mind.

Paula 47:22

And that's so true that you say that? Because I remember I used to feel like, especially on us about to time 30, right, and then that's around that time all my friends were getting married and having kids and having these corporate jobs and I was still like my life was just falling apart and I felt like everybody was judging me like oh my God, your life should be here right now. But I've always been unconventional, like I really don't give a fuck, I'm gonna do what I want to do. But deep down, you know, every now and then you still get that damn like maybe I should have, you know, just say yes to that engagement, got a mind and taken that corporate job.

Paula 48:08

But I used to be a small talk kind of girl, like I wouldn't have deep conversations or anything. So when I started having deep conversations with people and just having conversations where we connect, I started learning like, oh my God, we are really not as together as people think. You know I might be here thinking like, oh my God, the way I see Rob, he looks like he's all together. I got his shit together. It's like just until you have that conversation and you realize like, oh okay, I really was thinking like you know. So it took me that and that's why that's why I started loving having this genuine deep conversations and talking to people, because once you start talking to people, they actually share. But if you end it up in that small talk level, then they're going to leave it there. But when you go and people do share and you're like, oh God, I'm not alone, okay, cool, so having those conversations, I've been like man, let me just keep doing what the fuck I'm doing, because clearly we are on the same yeah, yeah, I think it's.

Rob 49:16

Yeah, it goes back to like being on our. We are on our own individual paths and you kind of have to. I feel like you have to continuously remind yourself of that too. I don't think that's a mindset that you get into and then you're safe. The pressure. It's like you just have to continue reminding yourself that you're on your own individual path and like you're not being graded against other people.

Paula 49:45

I still have to do that, even though sometimes when I look at my podcast in Jenny and see how much I've accomplished, but then when I also know how much more I want to accomplish, because sometimes that can also drain you like then I'm still here, but then we have to look like, okay, but look how much I've already done, you know, just going to keep going. So I always try to remind myself and sometimes, again, I'm still human. I do sometimes look at you know that, as you say, it's not like a mindset that sits in your, in your legs. Sometimes you look a new podcast that we just came and is doing all this better than you and you're in year three and I'm like, fuck it, then I have. I look into their journey. I try to listen to their podcast and see how they come, because some people, yes, they're lucky. Some people maybe they are content, they are niche because, again, different niche that niche is a very supportive niche, it's a well needed niche compared to my niche. So all those factors. So I constantly, when I put myself in that position, I try to be like, instead of comparing, why not go learn about their story, about their journey, so that you can get into that mindset Like they still also had to go through some shit to get where they are.

Paula 50:58

So let them enjoy this and you're on your own journey, you're going to get there. And then also, when I look at my parents and I'm like all I want to do is make my dad proud by my head. But your dad is always telling you how proud you are. You don't have to be like rich and have that house, the dream house and the dream job for him to be proud of you, because your dad is just proud of you for doing what you're actually loving and happy because, at the end of the day, our parents just want us to be happy. So it's that we that I still have to constantly remind myself, even though deep down I know like, yeah, this is it. But I still have those days where I have to wake up and be like Paula, you're going to get there, you're going to be all right.

Rob 51:46

Yeah, well, that's. I like to attach myself to the action and not the emotion surrounding it. So it's like did I meet four people today? Yes, okay, I'm making progress. So, like, did I record a podcast episode this weekend?

Rob 52:02

Yes, and I think it's like we start to determine our own definitions of success. Like success for me is meeting 10,000 people one on one for one hour each, and success for me is also spending as much time as possible with the people I care about. So when I look at my life compared to other people, other people might have like more money or more freedom to travel or whatever, but like someone who's partner at the bloat is irrelevant to me, because I'm like well, how many people have they met one on one for one hour each? I feel like I'm leading that field, because that's what I'm trying to do. Or are they spending time with the people they care about?

Rob 52:44

And it doesn't even matter, right, because their definition of success is different. It's different, yeah, but I think that's a big thing too is like really sitting down and defining what is our own definition of success. What do we think is cool? I think that's like a struggle to a social media and stuff Like I really don't care about brand names like Gucci or Louis Vuitton stuff like that. I'll wear like Kirkland sweatshirts from Costco, or I'll wear a coals or Ross is my favorite shopping place.

Paula 53:16

I love Ross. I buy my 599, 699 dresses and when I walk out people are like oh my god, your dresses are nice. Yes, it was 699.

Rob 53:28

Yeah, it's like Ross is like the I always think like Gucci reminds me of, like the pretty girl that never paid attention to you, and then you have like Ross was always there.

Paula 53:40

Always, always, and I find my sizes. I tell people that I have had this conversation so much with my dad. I was like I'm so glad I am not into brands. Like even when I was in Malaysia I had so many friends who would spend money in that and guys who would buy that stuff. I'd be like I'd rather you give me the money instead of buying me that $5,000 bag that I probably will return it or try to sell it. So because I have never been a brand and even I buy cheap stuff because I don't like costs like that, me and my friends. Like you know, I have two best friends who are the same size like me. So whenever we visit each other, we're just going through each other's work, jobs and taking shifts.

Paula 54:33

I'm like I spent $1,000 on a shirt and then my friend just came and got it Like that would that would piss me off. My rose cost gone. You know, taking like the only time I spent a lot on clothes it's either a handbag or shoes, because they last longer, and only if it's a special occasion, like my graduation or a specific number of, but like my 30th or something. But I said no, no, no, I shop a shoe. Does all these? They sell shoes for $28.39. Like, like no cause, if they get that to you, they get thrown. I'm okay. Like it wasn't costly. Like I had a fire, half of my shit and storage and I almost didn't pay my storage fee. I got an email that they're giving me until August 18. And that is my shit will go for sale.

Paula 55:22

This one I called my mom was like the fact that that email didn't even phase me because anything that's in my storage I'm like I really don't care much.

Rob 55:31

Like if I sell them or anything.

Paula 55:32

I ended up paying the bill just because. But if I had expensive shit I'd have been like, oh my God, that's like thousands and thousands in the storage. I need to go. So I'm grateful I was never been a brand person Like there are a few things that I will see, I will like, but I've also been a person I do not. Growing up, I never liked being same like people. So when everybody was about Gucci and guess, I'm like, why do you all want to be the same, like why there's so many other brands that are very much nice, even better than that shit, but you're just buying it because it's Gucci or it's. You don't even like what you're buying, but just because it's a brand.

Rob 56:13

Yeah, yeah, I think it all matters about the intention, because I'm sure there are people out there who, like, they love the quality and they love the history and they love, like, the process and it's like, if that's your thing, sure, spend $5,000 on the thing because you are authentically, you authentically care about it. But if you're doing it so that someone else will see you in a certain light and you think that you'll get their approval, like maybe not, I don't know, that's just the reality.

Paula 56:40

Yeah, so true so true, so true. And most of the time, I think also, it's people are during these celebrities and things, but half of them they get paid to wear that shit. Like I know. Like, look at Snoop I'm a big fan of Snoop, that man, half of the time is just in his job, like the simplest, like you know.

Recognition's Influence on Future Human Connection

Paula 57:01

Have you seen Adam Sander? I love Adam Sander and you see him in the streets. He's like a homeless man, like he just wears what is comfortable and is chill. Like half of them don't even care. So I feel like we need to really be, as you say, the intention, like if that's what you really like, then by all means spend your money, do you? But if you're doing it for approval shit, those people don't even care. Like half of the time they're laughing at you, like did he really spend that money on that shit for real? And then you don't have a car, you don't have a home, but you're buying expensive clothes. But go on, do you anyways? I could go on and on on that. So let's get back to we talk about Kerry Clarkson. So being featured by renowned platforms like Cars and Today's Show is a testament of how significant this mission of yours is how is this recognition influence your journey?

Rob 57:54

I think it's been helpful because it's added credibility to it, like, for example, when I was on Ryan Seacrest show. After that happened, I sent that segment to the head of partnerships of WeWork and tried to land a partnership with them and, like that, got my foot in the door because someone sees, oh, this project's being covered by Ryan Seacrest, then it's legit. And that led to a nine month partnership with WeWork and that was a really important role in me being able to continue doing this project, having that income at that time. And I think Kelly Clarkson opened a lot of doors for speaking.

Rob 58:31

Because when I was starting my speaking career two years ago, everyone's like well, where have you spoken and what have people said? And it's kind of like how you need the five years experience to get the entry level job. You're like well, how do I get? I don't know how to do that. So with speaking, I'd be like, well, I haven't spoken anywhere, yet I'm talking to these other schools or companies, and here's me on the Kelly Clarkson show. And they'd be like oh, kelly Clarkson show yeah, so it added credibility.

Rob 59:03

And the other thing is it just it gave me more people to meet, because people who would see my story on the show would then reach out to be part of my project and part of me. Getting to ten thousand is needing ten thousand people to meet, so it pushed me out to a lot of people who didn't already know about my project. So that's the cool thing about the press it's always nice when it when it comes up, and I think my project ebbs and flows with that stuff, because what I've learned in the press world too is like if NBC just covered you, like CBS isn't going to do a story on you because they don't want to cover something that has already been broken in the news, right. And then if they did a story on you four months ago, they're not going to do another one on you now that they need to give it time to become relevant again. So it's very like up and down and I thought that something like being on Ryan's secrets radio show.

Rob 59:59

I was like, okay, this is the last time I'll ever have to worry about my project because that's going to be the wave that kind of carries me forward. And then you learn that when you do press, it's like a big jump and then you come back down to earth and like you're a little bit higher than you were before, and then you have another big jump, but you come back down to earth. You don't jump and stay up at that point because people's interest is in you in that moment. But, yeah, it added credibility to what I'm doing, it exposed me to new groups of people and it opened doors for me.

Paula 1:00:32

I can totally understand that. Up and down, every time an article comes out about me, it's I'm like. Then, as soon as, like two weeks, two weeks, it lies out and you're like okay, I'm back to being no more again. Can I know that you call it about me, please, please. And so, out of curiosity, once you get to ten thousand, what happens?

Rob 1:01:00

I think I won. I'm doing a lot to build my speaking business right now and I really enjoy speaking and spreading this message of intentional connection. So I hope at that point that I'm able to just survive off of speaking, like I'd love to speak like two times a month and then be okay. I also hope to have a wife and kids before, because I think it'll be eight years before I finish the project. I'm 32 now.

Rob 1:01:24

I think it'd be cool to finish by the time of 40 and it'd be nice to have like a wife and kids by that point.

Rob 1:01:29

So my goal would be to have the time to have my family be my biggest priority and then speak to support that. And then I could be cool to be a professor at a local university and have a course for first year students where they pair off one-on-one every class period and learn from each other's backgrounds rather than a textbook or a PowerPoint slide. I think that would be valuable for them. But I think it'd be cool to be like the chill professor that has the life experience, like I'm not teaching from a textbook, I'm teaching from my own life. And yeah, I think right now I kind of just see it as a balance of those three things, like wife and kids, professor, speaker. And then I say that knowing that that's probably nothing of what it will look like eight years from now, because I would say like I'll have eight more years of information to decide what I'm doing after 10,000 at that point that I don't have right now. So who knows?

Paula 1:02:28

I feel like once we are moving closer to 10,000 right, we are we're gonna have to do like a big as part for that 10,000 and we we're gonna need everybody we have had one-on-one we ever can make it to come like a big as party of all of us being there one-on-one together. So we're gonna need to make that happen. I'm gonna be the event coordinator of that event. Okay, yeah, yeah, once you start get once, you, once you got 9,000ish, we start talking about that and making a plan, because you have, you have been meeting with people from all over the world, so it's a plan. We'll have to start a little bit so everybody can be able to travel yeah, if you want to handle all those logistics.

Paula 1:03:20

I got you, I got you, I got you. See, I got a job for them. I'm securing a job for eight years. See all the power of connections and, oh my god, today, really, the ones are not coming out of me. What is wrong with me? But yes, so in this rapid changing world, ai is taking over right. Every time we are hearing AI, chat, gpt and the robots and other aliens. It's like the world is going crazy. How do you see the role of intentional human connection evolving and how are individuals adapting to continue, first thing, these connections, when now everybody's trying to use AI and you know, I think, also the fact that COVID happened and people started relying more on online instead of actually spending time with people one-on-one, compared to just, you know, digitally sending an emoji and faces. So how do you foresee that, especially with this AI world?

Rob 1:04:30

yeah, I well. I feel like connection is like in person connection is becoming more rare. So by having the skills to interact and relate to different people of all different kinds and be able to hold conversation, and flow of people is becoming a more important skill, just because it's more scarce. So I think that's one thing about. Unlike a lot of people are scared that AI is going to take their job, I'm not scared that AI is going to take my job because I'm just meeting people and sharing their stories oh yeah, for you, you're safe yeah, and I don't know.

Rob 1:05:08

I think that, like the younger generations, my cousin's husband is a teacher in high school and he says, like when you and I were in high school, like at the start of class, the teacher would have to quiet all the students down, like stop the chatter, to start class.

Rob 1:05:21

He said now at the start of class, like no students are talking because they're all on their phones, they're all. So I think that the fact that the younger generations won't be a skilled in it and I do think there's a bell curve, like I think there's plenty of kids from Gen Z and afterwards who are totally skilled at being able to have social interactions, but there's always a bell curve and I think that there will be a lot of people that struggle with it and will need help in those areas. So, yeah, I think just learning how to interact with people and be confident and comfortable with it is becoming more important, because you have the option to not do it and a lot of people will take that option because it feels safe, it feels easy and that's not true, because any time I visit my nieces and nephews, you find them in one room.

Paula 1:06:12

That if it's about everybody's on their iPad of their phone and people are that text each other like which are you're sitting right there but you're texting me, instead of just looking up from your phone and saying, hey, it's ridiculous. I wonder how our kids God forbid, I don't know how they are dating life will be and how they will be meeting people, because it's getting more scary and scarier on how less interaction people prefer these days one-on-one, like in-person interactions, compared to oh, let's just jump on a zoom. Like, literally, you live five minutes away from me. What would you want to jump on a zoom? Jump on a zoom is for people who are miles away from me. Like, literally, I have to get on a flight but you live right across the street and you want to jump on a zoom.

Rob 1:07:02

It's ridiculous yeah, I think people who struggle with social anxiety. It's like an easy out for them.

Paula 1:07:09

But as with anything, if you don't work on it, it's just gonna get worse that's why we need you to, to, to hurry up so you can be that professor and start teaching people these, because, because I feel like by the time you're gonna be there, your class and you will be getting a lot of students, because all these kids who are not knowing how to learn, they're all gonna be in your class learning how to do.

Rob 1:07:34

I'll teach him. I'll be teaching him.

Paula 1:07:38

So you see, your future job is safe. Your future job is safe. So if there's one piece of advice you would offer to someone who is seeking to be more intentional about the interactions and relationships, what would it be?

Rob 1:07:55

It would be to set a connection goal for you. Well then, this is what I speak about. Like, set a connection goal for yourself and then you can use that friend framework, the family and relationships, industry, entertainment needs and dreams to unpack people's stories and then, just like, reflect on those connections and what you learn from people in some capacity. But having a goal, whether it's something you publicize or not, it doesn't mean you have to have an agenda, but you have context. Like when you and I met, there was no agenda to it, but you still understood that you were helping me reach this goal that I set out to do and I've seen so many people do it. Like there's a woman here in Philly who I met and she tries to meet with different women in the city every week and she shares their stories, unlinked in. So she's growing her network every week by having these interactions and there's no agenda, but she's just sharing their stories.

Rob 1:08:47

I've met multiple people. Like there were two guys in Toronto who tried to meet over a hundred people each during the pandemic and they did that. So there's a book called A Curious Mind by Brian Grazer. He's a Hollywood producer. Just every two weeks throughout his career he's had a curiosity conversation with someone outside of the film industry who inspires him and it's like you got to get the wheels turning. But if you become someone where habitual connection, routine connection, becomes part of your identity, it makes it really easy to then go and connect with people, because people will be like, oh, that's just what he does, or that's just what she does.

Rob 1:09:27

She meets one new person every month. She's been doing it for years. So people will be like, oh well, I want to meet with it. I'll meet with her in June, or I'll meet with her in August, or you should meet with my friend if you're going to be here. So having the goal gives you an excuse to connect with people and the more you do it, like if you're like, well, I'm bad at conversation, you don't have to be good at conversation with the people you meet one through ten, you don't even have to be good at one through a hundred. But the more you do it, the more comfortable you become. And then, from a hundred onwards, you become this really skilled conversation list. So like have the goal, give yourself grace in the beginning to stumble. You don't need to be perfect right away, you just need to grow. So I think that's what I would say, based on my experience.

Paula 1:10:15

I love that and it's being of goals. Are there specific goals or insights you're excited to explore as you continue connecting with these incredible human beings?

Rob 1:10:26

I don't know if I have goals or insights. I very intentionally have had the goal just be 10,000 people one on one for one hour each, and then I just want to see what comes of it, because then, kind of like we were talking about like treating it like an experience rather than a transaction. So I just have that goal and then I'm open to everything I get to take it all in. But if I'm like, well, I want to do this because I want to learn how people feel about this particular thing, then I miss so much stuff. So the only goal is to spend an hour one on one with 10,000 people and I guess I would say to eventually start meeting people in other countries in person. Like I would love to travel with the project. I just haven't had the funds or opportunity to do so yet, but I think that that's going to be coming in the coming years. So yeah, I'm just open to the evolution of it.

Paula 1:11:18

I love that I was interviewing somebody this week, right, he's a writer in Florida, South of Florida. He writes for like so many newspapers and magazines. He works on four podcasts. He's a PM manager, social media. I was like how do you do all this and not let it drain your mental health? It was like once a week I go out and actually meet people and talk to them, with no agenda.

Paula 1:11:52

I was like interesting to see that because I just met somebody called Rob who is doing this 10,000 people. So it's amazing that there are still people out there who realize the importance of those one-on-one connections and that to him that going out to just hang out and speak to new people, to meet people, is a way for him to keep his mental health sane. And it also made me realize like anytime I'm having a bad day but then I have to get on a podcast interview with somebody and have those conversations. It always helps my mental health. My podcast has been my mental health, having those conversations. I wish more people understood how, the importance of these connections and meeting people. So when you started you were doing it all of them in person, right. Then later on you started doing it online. What made you mix it up with online.

Rob 1:12:52

COVID, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, it was. I never would have. Well, I don't know, I had no intention of doing virtual calls until COVID and I was staying away from virtual calls. People would reach out from other places and I'd say I'd love to meet you someday from ever in your area. But then when meeting people virtually became the only option, then I did most of I mean I did all of them virtually during COVID and now it's like just a mix, because that barrier has been broken down. So there's no reason for me to build it back up and say I'm only doing it in person.

Rob 1:13:29

I like the perspective that I get from being able to meet people from different cities and different countries and, yeah, I think there's pros and cons to both in person and virtual. So it'll just be a mix. My hope is that it's like a 60-40 split in person versus virtual. But yeah, you just like I don't know that was the thing and it was really cool to be talking to people from all around the world during that time and I feel like it helped me go from an American to a global citizen.

Paula 1:14:01

And I'm glad you opened the door because we ended up being able to connect and I know we are going to meet one day, definitely one day very soon. Probably next year. I know we are definitely going to meet, so thank you so much for hanging out with me today. How many people are you meeting today? I know you've already met one.

Rob 1:14:20

This one, and then I did this and I'm going to hang out with my nephew after this and then grab and do that Alright.

Paula 1:14:28

so your mission is very inspiring. I like what you're doing and I know a lot of people are going to appreciate what you're doing once they listen to this. How can the listeners get involved? How can they learn more or even contribute to your experiences and create?

Rob 1:14:47

Oh my God, what a drama man.

Paula 1:14:51

Contribute to the experiences you're creating through these interactions.

Rob 1:14:56

They. I'm on Instagram at Rob's 10kfriend and that's where I keep track of everyone's story. So they can just shoot me a DM on Instagram to meet and we'll set up a time and hang, and that's. I have a website, rob's 10kfriendscom, which is dedicated to the project, and then I have another website, roblawlesscom, which is dedicated to all my speaking. They're interested in seeing what I speak about. So, yeah, those are the main things, but my project is Rob's 10kfriends on Instagram, and anyone who is interested in meeting I would love for them to message me, because I'm always looking for more people.

Paula 1:15:32

Yes, people go support. We want to make sure this 10k happens so that I can throw the most incredible event of the world. That will be the most. I think everybody will be covering that. Kerry Clarkson will be calling you to cover that because imagine you're bringing all your 10,000 people. I don't know if we'll be able to bring all of them together, but as many as we can to get us. Thank you so much, rob, for hanging out with me.

Rob 1:16:01

Yeah, thank you for having me. I appreciate you giving me a platform to share my story.

Paula 1:16:06

Definitely. And you all, go support, go contribute. I believe on his page there's a way to contribute. Let's help him make this shit happen. Okay, all right, before let me end this recording, thank you, ship Talkers, for tuning in and spending your valuable time with us. We appreciate you.

Paula 1:16:27

To connect with us more, make sure you subscribe to our newsletter and catch all the SHIP Talking vibes before anybody else. You can subscribe to our newsletter through our website, wwwtalkshitrepeacom, and on our merchandise website, wwwtalkshitrepeashop. And while you're there, feel free to shop away. Talkshitrepea is available on all social media platforms with the hand-out Talkshitrepea, follow us and engage with us. Better yet, if you're feeling generous, give us a review on Apple Podcast and All Raters on Spotify. You can also share a beer with me. We're my beer lovers. I mean, what better way to support the movement than sharing a beer with me by buying me a beer at BuyMeCoffeecom? Thank you for listening, sharing, engaging and support in any way that you do. Remember, new episodes are out every Wednesday and for Part 2, if any, on Fridays let's talk and all listen to some shit, happy shit talking.