S7E3 - Navigating Growth and Overcoming Self-Doubt!!

Ever felt stagnant in your personal growth journey and wondered if there's a more effective way to set and achieve goals? Well, meet Johnny Giangregorio, the mastermind behind the Lifey brand, who's here to shake things up with his innovative approach to living life. Walking with us through his creative journey, he shares how he's developed a unique system that breaks down yearly goals into quarterly plans, thereby granting us four opportunities to start fresh annually!

Now, let's cut through the chaos of the digital age. While social media can often blur the line between real and staged, Johnny shares how it can be a powerful tool to create communities and safe spaces, especially amidst pandemic-induced isolation. We dive into the nuances of discerning authenticity online and understanding signs that someone might be struggling, truly empowering us to use these platforms for good.

Personal growth isn't all sunshine and rainbows, is it? It often requires embracing discomfort and battling self-doubt. Johnny guides us through strategies to develop body awareness, trust the process, and even introduces us to the benefits of practices like cold exposure. We also grapple with self-doubt, discussing strategies to identify and replace the false narratives we often tell ourselves.

Join us for this insightful conversation and take a step towards navigating your personal growth journey with clarity and confidence!

Coach with Johnny:
Submit a request for a free discovery conversation through The Lifey Brand’s website by clicking on Lifey Coaching and scrolling down “Apply Today”.
https://www.thelifeybrand.com/

About The Lifey Brand
Founded during the global pandemic, The Lifey Brand is a betterment company dedicated to improving lives through a variety of offerings, including goal setting planners, re-usable vision boards, annual retreats, and virtual community.

Join the Lifey Community!! https://www.facebook.com/groups/lifeycommunity

Subscribe to The Lifey Pulse!!  https://lifeypulse.ck.page/f

Transcript

Johnny 0:01

And for me, during the pandemic, I had been feeling more isolated than ever and the job I had left, the company I had left I had been a part of for several years and I very much had a community being part of that company. And what I noticed is, upon leaving, I was no longer in the tribe and I looked at my life and whether it was church, like in earlier years and being part of a tribe and then moving my physical location and then not having that community anymore I really wanted to create.

Paula 0:40

Hi shit-talkers, welcome to TalksEuropean, and I am your host, paula the shit-talker. I mean, don't we all like talking shit anyways? Are you a creator? If so, you are in the right space. Talkseuropean is a place where we showcase and celebrate the talents, works and stories of creative minds from all walks of life, while also raising awareness for mental health through providing a supportive space to share their stories, insights and experiences. We will be discussing creative journeys, the high lows and the ways we manage our mental health. Through it all, join us each week for inspiring conversations, useful resources and a community of like-minded creators as we dive into the minds of creative beings to explore their journeys, struggles and triumphs. So, whether you are seasonal, creative or just starting out, talkseuropean is the podcast for you. Talkseuropean I have my second guest of Season 7. Actually, it was supposed to be my first guest for the day, but you know, sometimes the weather and the technology have different ideas, but he finally made it. Johnny, welcome to TalksEuropean.

Johnny 2:01

Thank you for having me, paula. I'm super excited to be here today.

Paula 2:06

Me too. I'm so excited to have you. I feel like I haven't known you for that long, but I love you so much. I met Johnny for the first time this year at Port Fest, but I'd already known about him through his big brother Adventure and Johnny was sweet enough to send me this Johnny a lifey. You see, I can't even find myself to removing this, like it's still right there and it was so sweet because this plan I came during International Women's Day, like it was so perfect and everything about it and I love it and I just want to say, in front of every fucking buddy, thank you for this. This meant the world to me.

Johnny 2:49

Absolutely, paula, absolutely. I feel the same about you. We just met less than a year ago and I think what was different is our ability to just be authentic and dive into it and just have good conversations right off the bat.

Paula 3:08

I know I love it and even came to my Pan Night Port Fest. He showed up. It was one of those people sitting there and when I brought in my cat, jock, and he raised his hand as one of those people who had cut, I was like, oh my God, I was just starting to love you, Johnny. But Johnny, so we're going to talk about the lifey. So how did the lifey brand come about?

Johnny 3:36

So I have to start with pre-pandemic, was in the real estate industry for nearly 15 years and was interviewing for a role where it was pretty substantial this corporate role where I'd be overseeing 1200 young professionals and one of the things about the interview process was what am I going to do with the division if I'm awarded this opportunity? And they wanted me to create an annual goal for it. So I did and interviews went really well, ended up getting the role and my third day on the job, the pandemic hit Fuck and all my annual goals went out the window and it was more about survival during that time for the division and I needed to restructure and start really chunking things down into this quarterly style of doing goals and, after doing that for a few quarters and seeing the results that can happen when you really just focus on a couple of things over a small period of time. Those little shifts, while they might not seem that big over the span of a few months, in multiple years from then, it's going to have you in a completely different place. So in 2021, I actually started creating my own planner because I wanted to create something that was not only goal focused and, by the way, goals is a very scary word.

Johnny 5:18

It scares away a lot of people and they're just simply a reminder for how to behave in the moment and they just remind us how we can be behaving. For instance, if you're going to climb a mountain, if that's your goal, then what are the things that a mountain climber would be doing to prepare for that? Maybe talking about their mountain climbers training, getting their diet down, any sort of travel itinerary that needs to happen to go climb that mountain. So it's just simply a reminder of how to behave in the moment. And also I wanted to incorporate a holistic approach, something that also integrated gratitude, self care and really just helping you focus on the things that are the most important to you.

Johnny 6:13

And that's why it's called life. It's about your life, and your life does contain business components, personal components, all different sorts of components, and it's this very holistic approach to make these small shifts one quarter at a time. And also one of my favorite components is you get four fresh starts per year. So it's like in January when the New Year's resolutions all come about. We all feel so good, we put the past to rest, we say this year is going to be our year. Well, that's the way I feel every quarter.

Paula 6:53

I stopped saying that shit a long time ago because I realized I jinxed myself. Every time I say this is going to be my year, I end up jinxing this.

Johnny 7:04

It's a funny thought, and yet I really connect with that mentality of stepping into this world of possibilities, because it's such a positive mindset and it's so future focused and present focused versus the past, which provide great learning lessons. And yet our past don't really have a whole lot to do with our future, because we get to choose our future, so, yeah, I like that and I realize the thing with me.

Paula 7:41

I realize that, again, goals is such a scary word, right, like. And then every time you like, I will have a strong you are. When something goes wrong, you feel like you fail. So you feel especially when it's something you're working towards your goal. So I started doing something different, because I never everything I end up saying I will do by the first take of January always goes to trash, literally.

Paula 8:07

So what I've started is I would pick a word for that year and be surrounding myself with a word that year. So, like this year, my word was intentional. I wanted to be intentional with everything I did, with the connections I did with, so whatever the life ends up flowing at me, but I just wanted to be intentional. Like I go to conferences, you meet people, right, and then, but you're not intentional with the connections you make. You like disappear every now and then you leave messages on each other on social media and then until the next conference, you meet again and catch up, but and then when you look back, you're like I literally actually even spoken to this connection since the last time we were here. Like yes, we have reposted each other stories or anything I was like this year. I want to be intentional on the connections I make on a natural them. I want to be intentional with the places I show up and the things that are accumulating my head and the growth of what I want my podcast to be, if that makes sense.

Johnny 9:14

Absolutely. It makes sense and that's one of the things in the planner that there is a word you choose each quarter, and for me it does oftentimes change after a few months, and I also love the idea of just doing it for a whole year.

Paula 9:33

Yeah, it's been, because I only started that last year. But also to ask you something about your front right, why? Why would you know how the goals page, which I really like there's so much I like about about this planner I like the, the, your people, you know, the top five and the boundaries. I love and especially the boundaries. It's so important for people to always realize how important it is to set boundaries, and now that can go into connection with your goal setting. But why was it the goal? Only three goals? What was the idea bound, just three goals? Or is it because it's a quarterly select, a goal for every quarter?

Johnny 10:18

So it's anywhere from one to three goals. I think three goals in a single quarter could almost be overwhelming, and I encourage people to at least create one, at least one thing. And the way we get to that one thing is through a future self exercise, where we start to ideate how we want to feel, who we want to be in five years from now. In five years is arbitrary. We could do three years, 10 years right, you could choose it. And yet this real future self, and then asking yourself, what's the one thing I could do this quarter that'll put me on the trajectory to become in that person.

Johnny 11:13

And I'm huge on this principle of being, doing and then having. And it's from the seven highly effective habits of people by Stephen Covey, and he talks about this mentality of well, if I do this, if I work really hard, then I'll have money. And then, if I have money, I could be happy when, if you flip the whole thing and you do that future self exercise and you choose who you want to be first, and then, by being that way, you can have the things whatever you want to have and ultimately do whatever you want to do if you flip that.

Johnny 12:04

So I'm really big on that and instead of getting too caught up in like, oh, I only have two goals this quarter or three or you know, choose as many goals as you want, just for me. I really like what you were saying about being intentional this year, because when I hear that that is a goal and how would an intentional person behave when they go to a conference, when they jump on an interview for a podcast, really with anything they're doing in their life, that is their goals to be intentional.

Paula 12:45

That's so true and I've seen massive change because I've gotten to accomplish or do shit that I didn't even think I would be able to, or because I was intentional with the connections I made at POTFest this year. And this also came because that's the mistake I made last year. But, mind you, last year was my first time attending this conference. I've never attended a podcasting conference. I didn't know what to accept. I was just doing it virtually, so I would understand, being a little bit damaged on how to waver or whatever, and because everybody had already known through online. So it was like, oh, it was like, you know, meeting people after so long after COVID, after everything. But then when I went back this year and I realized I was like, oh shit, that's the mistake I made. But then I got a land from it.

Paula 13:37

So I started, after coming back, taking those meetings, reaching out to those people who I met and like getting on this cover. I got on to a discovery call with you and I realized, okay, I want to work with Johnny, but I need to first get myself here so I can. But I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't been intentional with the connection we made and jumped into that discovery call. So I feel like that's how maybe I can handle my goals by choosing words. And now you have actually brought an idea because, yeah, why do one word a year? I can actually do a word quarterly, or even if I'm already doing, I start one with January and then in my next quarter I add one. And they go too, because I've already been practicing the other ones and it's not like you're distracting yourself. You're already adding a different word that goes with the word you've already been abusing.

Johnny 14:41

Absolutely so. When you start integrating that word into your life, at a certain point it becomes second nature. You internalize it and it just becomes. You just become this intentional person. And then it's asking at a certain point and, by the way, time is made up by humans where it's, you know, oh, every three months, or every quarter, or you know, that's what's worked for me. It's this revaluation process where I take some time and I get crystal clear on the direction. So, again, because we're always changing, and after getting crystal clear again, then I'll choose the goal, the word, all the things. And I just do it four times a year where I stop and I take a look at my life and I figure out where do I want it to go from here, because so much happens in such a short amount of time.

Paula 15:53

Now, with that said, we know life is more than just the quarterly planner. There's more to life, is so what inspired you to start a company? Because you just say you were in real estate. So what inspired you to start a company focused on helping people discover their purpose and potential?

Community Values and Finding Purpose

Johnny 16:16

I think I saw that that's what was missing and, granted, this was all born during the pandemic. And for me, during the pandemic, I had been feeling more isolated than ever and the job I had left, the company I had left I've been a part of for several years and I very much had a community being part of that company. And what I noticed is, upon leaving, I was no longer in the tribe and I looked at my life and whether it was church, like in earlier years and being part of a tribe, and then moving my physical location and then not having that community anymore, I really wanted to create something where I would just never have to leave. It didn't matter if I changed jobs, if I changed locations and I created a community and the original intent of the community was quarterly goals done alongside community, followed by quarterly retreats to set goals for that upcoming quarter. And it's really evolved past that and we're now switching from this idea of oh, you have to have this planner and then, once you get the planner, you could be in our little tribe and we're moving more towards this values based community. Of what are our community values, as we want to start to attract people into it? Just based on values, whether they use the planner or not, like I actually think your goal system is great, like choosing a word and then just doing it, you know, just being it, just being intentional.

Johnny 18:04

So I don't think everyone needs the planner the planner of a stuff that I created for myself and then made available for other people. It's my accountability tool. It's something that I need to do in order to actually make sure I end up doing the things I say that I'm going to do. So this whole brand is going to be a lifelong project, and what's cool is I consider myself the founder of it and yet we don't have a leader. I very much rely on the community and the people who make up the community to choose where we want to go with it, because it really needs to mirror and match life, and the only guaranteed life is this constant change from every single moment to moment to moment. And I grow leery of communities when there is just a figurehead and that person dictates everything, without the listening component of all the community. And while I might ultimately make a judgment call here and there on where to go, it is all sourced from the community.

Paula 19:19

And I can testify to that because I haven't been a lifey for long, but I have since I've started following social media. I've seen how involved you make the community into either picking the newsletter name either the meetings I've attended, seeing how everybody has a say and even if the meeting happened and people are to say, it still goes back to the community, the group where they're still more opposed. So it's really everyone gets to be involved, which I love. That and I like the idea of a planner. You know I feel like journaling. I've always been like.

Paula 20:02

I feel like when my fire happened, one of the saddest thing was I even recorded all my notebooks. Seeing all my diaries, all my books just being washed up. That was the most painful thing, not my electronics, not nothing, but because I don't get that back and I write a lot of my memories and actually that's how I ended up with this, because I was talking about that and Johnny decided to send me one and can you believe I actually, apart from writing my name on the first page, I am yet to use it, and there was a reason for that. This year has been a lot for me, like the fire really ended up changing the transaction of all my life. You know, you come back from Port Fest where there's so much high of all these hops and dreams of, and then you come and then a fire happens and you're like, oh fuck, okay, so I am, I'm putting this to to start it in 2024, where I can start with a fresh in my in myself and only because I'm very sentimental and even when I choose my journals and stuff, even though I buy a lot, that's why I think I buy them a lot Like I have notebooks for like just normal notes and everyday shit, and then the ones which means so much to me, it has to be a specific type of notebook or a journal, like I'm very sensitive, like that.

Paula 21:33

But as we were talking about finding one's purpose, you know that can be such a profound journey, right, it takes. Some people end up even dying without knowing what their purpose was. Some people take them a lifetime. Some people grow up knowing what the fuck their purpose is. How did you find yours?

Johnny 21:58

It's a great question. That's a deep question.

Paula 22:03

I'm a deep question.

Johnny 22:06

I know you are I, so from a young age I've always wanted to help other people, and the stories that always stuck out to me the most whether it was a movie or a book or anything like that were these underdog stories, where this person maybe didn't have all the tools, they didn't have all the information, maybe they weren't supposed to win if they were competing in something, and yet they found a way to overcome things. And that is a very, very specific thing. But I am a huge fan of underdogs and when I think about what my purpose is is to help underdogs, that's something that could be defined very broadly, and yet at the heart of it is really how I view myself, is I look at myself as an underdog, and not that I didn't have resources growing up or I didn't have the privilege of getting education or something like that, but more so. I came from a familial dynamic that was really challenging and there hadn't been anybody who had really done the work in the family to break any sort of ancestral chains that kept getting passed down, passed down, passed down. And at a certain point I'm looking around the room like I guess it's going to be me. I guess it's going to be me and I'm going to do a lot of work, therapy, journaling, question a lot of come from curiosity ask a million questions and ultimately even experiment with things to get out of this dynamic and get into a healthier place mentally, emotionally, physically and I know how hard that journey is and I'm not sitting here today saying I'm on the other side of it and everything's all good.

Johnny 24:30

Now I'm good from here on out, paula. It's more so that I'm still working on it. And yet I start to look around at people who may be a couple steps I don't want to say behind, because I could make it feel like a race or something. They were where I was, maybe a couple years back, or maybe five years back, or maybe 10 years back, and nothing in the world feels better for me than getting to help those people in that journey. And ultimately I get to be a guide of sorts, and it's the guide that I wish I had when I was there. It just lights me up more than anything. So when we talk about this, what's your purpose? I very much think it correlates with the things that make you the happiest, and not happy in a fake way, but an internal peace, a stillness, a knowing that this is where I'm supposed to be doing my work.

Paula 25:47

And that's the truth. I like how you say it about underdogs. I myself consider myself underdog, even though I come from what most would consider privilege, because I don't have no student loans. My dad paid. I went to amazing schools. I've traveled the world.

Paula 26:06

Yes, my life might have had roadblocks, or where I am right now might not be pretty, but I'm not going to say, oh my God, I struggled growing up or any of that shit, but I still consider myself underdog and that's what I wanted my podcast to be to create that space for underdogs can be seen, because we have this tendency of giving people their flowers until somebody else we all love ends up acknowledging them Like you make it to Opla, you make it to Jeremy Falco and you make it to Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan says your name and now everybody oh, I know Paula, I used to do that Now everybody wants to clap for you, but where were you clapping for me when I was meeting those claps right now, where I'm building this, where I'm using my sweat and energy, where I don't have as much of the resources as other people, but I'm still going and I'm still hustling and I'm still trying to make it. So I get, and that's why I feel like I also love the, the Lifeibrand, and what you, you, you, what it stands for and what it values, because we all need that. You know a place where we can feel seen, supported and encouraged to find our purpose. And, just as you said, it's a process, like I know.

Paula 27:30

I've been doing therapy and sometimes I look at myself and I'm like, oh my God, I've grown, because that's not how I would have responded two years back or even a few months back. But then when I look at the wrong picture, I'm like, oh my God, I still have more to go. Because the growth, the process, the work is ongoing, because you're constantly learning, you're constantly developing, you're constantly evolving, you're constantly. So the work doesn't end there. And for you to see somebody that's in a place where you were a few years back, even a few months back, and who they're struggling and you lend a hand, that's all they need.

Paula 28:15

Because I didn't have somebody to lend a hand when I was going through my mental health, my depression, where I didn't know what the fuck depression was, I didn't know if I could even say it out loud, if people would even understand. But then once I started sharing it and that's when I started that movement, life with Paula, to be able to create this community where we supported each other and right now, to see they're living their life. They're not, their depression hasn't died, but they found tools, because of the community that we built and how we supported each other, to allow ourselves to keep going and know that the more we talk, the more we help each other. We help push forward.

Johnny 28:58

So that truly resonates with me and I'm going to yes, I think it's so important for people to have a community where they just have that belonging feeling that they're not alone. And because we are not alone, we do have each other. And yet there does need to be either a community to plug into to be able to connect with other people and show up as you are and be able to share, be able to be vulnerable and not feel as if there's something wrong with you for having that feeling, but instead connect with other people who are also having that feeling, and that alone has a hope component to it. And I do look at mental health issues and specifically things like suicide and the constant with something like that is isolation.

Johnny 30:08

A lot of times people don't know that other people are suffering, because it's hard to come out and say that you're suffering. And when you've got safe places to be able to do that, it helps. So people don't fall through the cracks. I've seen it over and over Paula, where people just fall through the cracks and what really prevents that is community. And when people stop showing up to that community, that's the time to check in on them, because they might begin that slide towards isolation if they stop showing up.

Paula 30:56

So true, and I think that's why I always say I feel like COVID was a blessing in disguise, because one thing about COVID oh my God, what was I going to say? Shit, how did I just lose my tooth?

Johnny 31:12

Isolation.

Paula 31:16

Yeah, you mentioned something which I was going to say yes, yes, so before COVID, right when people shared about their struggles, social media would always downplay it and laugh at people. When people would cry out on social media. Yes, some people they cry out on social media, maybe because their families are not listening or they don't have friends they can cry out to. So they come to social media to cry out open that one person can see them and reach out and just ask are you okay? Sometimes that's all it takes, Are you okay? But then social media, we end up mocking people who end up crying out. Or why are you crying on social media? Or you must not really need help if you're coming on social media to cry or other shit. But then once they end up committing suicide, everybody's like man, I wish I knew sooner. I knew I would have helped, but literally she was crying out there and you couldn't create a safe space.

Paula 32:18

And I think after COVID, where everybody was going through isolation and being isolated, people understood the importance of safe spaces, of communities, of being vulnerable, Because during COVID nobody was coming to check on you because, mind you, everybody was dealing with it. So, no, and other people like imagine me I'm single, I'm by myself, no cats, no dog, no, nothing. And then my friends have either two kids, three kids, a pet, a grandmother living with them. You think they're gonna, with all that they have going on in their house, they're gonna worry about little me, who doesn't have any other extra baggage. And it's not that it's their fault. It's just that during COVID, everybody was going through shit at the same time. Some was depending on their whatever was happening in their households. But that's when people really realized, like, okay, speaking out matters, creating safe space matters and belonging to communities that you can be your authentic self and show up as your apologetic self.

Paula 33:30

I started going to Mark's Clubhouse Room. If I don't show up two days in a row, even one day, I get messages on my Instagram. You, okay, I'm like, damn, I just overslept, Like. But it's also like because they're so used to seeing you. If I don't see somebody for two days, I'm gonna go messy, like you know. But people also have this idea or because they're always on social media, or because they're always laughing and looking happy, they must be. Okay. Social media, anybody can pause. Some posts are automatic. Some people have set up on their post. That doesn't mean you've checked up on your friend and found out if they're okay, and the purpose of social media is people to pretend like their life is okay.

Johnny 34:13

You know, social media is funny. It's all it is as a platform and what people do with that platform is they could do whatever they want with it. A lot of people use it just for business. It's a funnel of sorts. It's a top of funnel that's outward facing and they're looking to find other people to get into their funnel and bring them on this journey, ultimately selling them something right. For other people it's just showing pictures of them and their families and their friends and it's this wide spectrum and there's.

Johnny 34:56

No, it doesn't. Just, like you said, it doesn't mean anything. And my whole thing as of late has been coming from curiosity. Someone posts something and because they post it I don't pretend to know why they posted it or I don't jump to a conclusion oh, they're so happy because I saw the post of them on the vacation. I truly come from curiosity. I'll reach out and say how was that vacation? Was it what you thought it would be? And you'd be surprised. People when you actually one-on-one reach out, feel a lot more comfortable being honest versus publishing something to the masses and some of them could be conscious of their own brand, how they appear, all those different things, and of course, it's going to be hard to know how that person's actually doing without that one-on-one check.

Paula 35:58

Thank you, because a post can be anything. A person might post that while they're literally in their bed crying, but that's where they want to be. They think, like I was happier doing this time. I want to go back. So I'm posting that and I tell people don't pay attention to my post, especially if people watch my stories. If you take my stories seriously, I'll be mad, sad, crying, heartbroken, depressed in a relationship. Only one hour Because I just post things that I can relate to Doesn't necessarily mean I'm going through it. But then when I'm going through shit, trust me, you will know by my post right.

Paula 36:36

It's not that hard Because I'm very and I have that fear of gun appears. So I'm Calling open book like maybe too much Somebody. And this is funny because I met this person on Clubhouse on Friday and, as I said, I'm being more intentional. So we followed each other and then I reached out later hey, thanks for following blah blah, blah. And I was like I wanna listen to your podcast. What episode do you recommend? I really don't have a favorite episode. Anybody ask me that I'm like.

Paula 37:06

So I always try to recommend an episode because my podcast is kinda I try to recommend an episode depending on who you are or what you like, and then from there you can take it on. So I was like what do you like? I was like well, I'm not a Christian. I'm like I don't know what might have made you think my podcast is Christianity. I am a Christian, I do post Bible verses, but I don't talk religion on my podcast. I don't talk politics on my podcast. Those are two topics that I stay away, unless it's something very specific.

Paula 37:42

So he goes and he chooses to listen to my 34 questions for my 34th birthday and then he comes back and is like wow, you really are an open book, like the amount of things I've learned from you just from that episode. I'm like, yeah, because even that's how my Instagram is. Like, literally, when you work onto my Instagram and you meet me in real life, it's the same person. My energy might be a little bit more louder, but it's the same person. So even when I started my podcast, I wanted it to be a safe space. I wanted people to come and be the authentic self and be an apologetic them. But how is somebody gonna trust to be in your space if I'm not open about me and myself and my journey and my life? Cause they need to relate to you, right? So if I'm showing up as somebody who's not me on my podcast and then I'm showing up as me elsewhere, will you be able to literally relate to me? Cause you'll be like okay, this is just another fake ass bitch.

Johnny 38:48

Yeah, and one of the things, too, is, if you're showing up and not being yourself, you're gonna start attracting people who are not like you at all, which that's not good or bad. It's gonna be different people, but you're gonna attract whatever persona that you've created. When you're able to show up and be authentically you, you're gonna start to attract people who are also like you and also keep it 100 and are authentic, vulnerable, all the things which ultimately leads to what we're talking about, about that community of people.

Paula 39:29

Safe space that we crave for Absolutely and I wanna disagree with you there I feel like it's bad. I feel like when you portray somebody else and end up joining these communities that you're portraying because that's what you're attracting, it might be exciting the first few days because playing anybody else is always fun, like if you've ever acted or anything like once in a while doing this role. It's always exciting, but it's exhausting if you have to play that role 24-7. So then that ends up fucking up with your mental health, cause you have to hide who you really are. People can't come to your place, people can't see your family. When you're outside and you're with your actual family, you're gonna start hiding or coming up with stories.

Embracing Discomfort for Personal Growth

Paula 40:19

That messes up with your peace, gives you anxiety, gives you depression, just so I feel like it's bad and that's why sometimes we need to stop and look and be like what person am I? Who do I wanna be? Cause sometimes we say we don't find the communities we belong to, or we don't find our people, or we don't feel safe. It's because we are not showing up as ourselves. But trust me, you think you're weird. There's all sorts of weird out there. I'm weird as well, and I found my people. There's every kind of people, as long as trust me and it's cool to be weird these days, actually Absolutely Now, since we're speaking about personal growth right, it often involves stepping out of our comfort zones, and most people like being stuck in their comfort zone. That's why people end up not growing. So how do you encourage people to embrace discomfort and navigate the challenges that come with pursuing their dreams?

Johnny 41:24

Great question and it goes back to that future self.

Johnny 41:28

If they actually wanna be like that future self, if they're not that person right now, but they aspire to become that person, they're going to need to do things that they haven't done before. And anytime we do things that we haven't done before, we don't know if we're gonna be good at it or it's gonna be challenging for us. It's just we don't know. We have to really put on this mindset of discovery and go experience it for ourself. For instance, one thing could be really challenging for one person like public speaking, and when somebody else that maybe their purpose is more to be this mass communicator to the world, maybe they try public speaking and it's not that hard, right. So we have to stop taking other people's perspective on whether, on what that growth is that needs to happen, and whether that's a good experience or bad experience. And something I'm doing right now that's been this. Ultimate personal growth for me is I got a cold plunge about four months ago and I was somebody, paula, that would say I hate cold water.

Paula 42:56

I hate cold water. And I'm from Africa and at four o'clock it's so hot, four o'clock PM the water is not even cold, but it's like you know, like you're in a pool, that warm weather and I'm still showing hot water. My dad is like what is wrong with you? I'm like no.

Johnny 43:12

Yes.

Johnny 43:14

And then I realized that I don't put myself in cold water because I have this belief that I don't like it.

Johnny 43:23

And I start watching videos of Wim Hof and Russell Brand and their experience with trying cold plunges and cold exposure and some of the mental health benefits that came how to improve their circulation, how now they don't get sick very often because their immunity is just insanely boosted. And I'm like maybe I do like cold water, depending on what it is right. So I end up getting this cold plunge and I learned very quickly that for about the first 30 seconds when I sit in it I need to focus on my breath because it's like an animal that you throw in a cold water. So I'm just gonna absolutely want to get out immediately. And yet, in trusting the process and trusting these other guides that have come before me and come to me and kind of shared about the benefits and what the process might be like, after about 30 seconds my body starts to regulate. After about a minute and 30 seconds I'm actually incredibly calm and at that point I could stay in 10 minutes if I wanted to, 20 minutes if I wanted to, because I've already-.

Paula 44:39

I mean, the water does get warm after you're in there for a minute, right?

Johnny 44:45

Well, the one that I have just continually the cooler stays on throughout, and it will remain at that temperature despite me being in there. And now I'm starting to see this in other areas of my life. What this has really been is awareness for how my body operates. So, for instance, I do yoga and I'll get into a pigeon pose and I'll notice that, oh my gosh, this pose is hard and my body doesn't wanna do it. And then I remember how my body operates.

Johnny 45:17

All I need to do is focus on my breath for about 30 seconds and then it's so funny I'm able to sink into the pose and really start to enjoy it after that. So this whole I don't like cold water really depends on the context and when I know there's something I can do, that there's a control component to it where I can get myself out of it at any second right. It's not like I've been thrown into an icy ocean and in that situation I wouldn't like cold water, but it's really been profound. And is it uncomfortable? Yes, every single time I do it it's uncomfortable, and then when I'm done, I feel so amazing, similar to a workout where you're like, ah, gotta go to the gym and then when you leave the gym you're typically feeling like, wow.

Johnny 46:16

I'm so happy I'm in the gym yeah so it's very being a human and things we think we like or we don't like, or it just depends on so many factors and there are things we can do that maybe they're challenging and we are uncomfortable during that process, but in having inspiration from other people who have come before us and did it and are able to share their results, and then we have to ultimately discover do we get those same results?

Johnny 46:47

Maybe somebody else tries the cold plunge and has just a terrible experience. It's too much over activation of their nervous system and it triggers panic or something like that. And then I'd say don't do cold plunges. So there's no one size fits all. Almost going back to the planner versus just having a word and being intentional, it's we're both doing the exact same thing and we're just doing it in different ways and there's no right or wrong way when it comes to that growth process. It's finding that level of discomfort that you can still press forward with but you don't overdo it so much so you never end up on that path again.

Paula 47:34

I like that. You might actually make me want to try this cold. So for people who don't have a cold plunger or can't figure out where even if they buy it where to put it, can we just turn on the cold water on our showers and stand and wait for like 10 minutes in cold shower?

Johnny 47:55

Absolutely so. The whole, this whole realm, and it's newer, like a lot of this information. It's shouldn't say it's newer. It's been existing for thousands of years.

Paula 48:09

I was about to say remember the days of ice bucket challenge?

Johnny 48:13

Yes, yes, the science, the amount of data we have from the benefits of cold exposure is being talked about more than it's ever been talked about. And cold showers is the same thing. It's just called cold exposure and there's not one that's better than the other. I actually think cold showers might even be more challenging because the temperature is not as cold as the plunge and yet it's a thousand little cold, cold drops of water getting all over your head and your body at the same time. And I know other people that prefer that method. But that's absolutely within the realm and in a lot of countries there's not even the option for cold water right or for hot water, I should say Hot water.

Paula 49:12

It's constantly cold. Yes, you gotta wait during the sunlight, when it's crazy hot. Then you go time and get like some more water.

Johnny 49:26

It's all they know. So there is no cold or hot water privilege, it's just water, and they're already doing it and might not even know it.

Paula 49:37

Right, so how often do you do it per week and for how long?

Johnny 49:43

I attempt to do it every day and if I'm being real which why wouldn't we be on this I'd probably do it five to six times per week and the goal is every day I do it for five minutes, sometimes six minutes, and that's been the sweet spot for me and with all the research that I've done, where the health benefits after a certain amount of time it doesn't make sense to stay in there longer. It's not like you don't incrementally get that much more benefit. So after about five minutes I get all the benefits that I need.

Paula 50:28

So let me ask you for a person who is going to be doing it in a shower right, if I do five minutes in a cold shower, then I turn it into hot shower and then I continue showering. Does that change it?

Johnny 50:40

Not at all. So one thing that I do is I attempt to not do the plunge and then jump into a hot shower, because one of the things that I really enjoy about it is allowing my body to regulate itself. Our bodies are so fascinating and when we get out of that cold water, you should see me I'm like beat red all over my body, and so quickly my body gets its temperature back to where it needs to be, so, so quickly. So I love allowing my body to do what the body is able to do.

Paula 51:25

So, in short, start with a hot shower, then the last five minutes, cool yourself with a cold one.

Johnny 51:35

You know, in a lot of places that subscribe to this cold plunge or cold shower concept also have sonnets there and you'll see people that'll go in the sauna for a while and then they'll jump in the plunge and then they'll go back in the sauna. So that's very much. There's no right or wrong way to do it. But that cold exposure I will let you know that first 30 seconds is going to be challenging. Just focus on the breath and yet once you get past a certain point, you're going to realize, wow, I could do this for a really long time. I have a friend that's been taking cold showers every day for over seven years now.

Paula 52:20

Oh damn.

Johnny 52:21

It's just, it's what he does every day, and he said everything after that is easier than that.

Paula 52:30

If you just go after three months, I feel like after three months it becomes a routine, like it becomes something that you are used to. So maybe that's why, koteli planners, so you also mentioned something about challenges, right? So what would you say are the most common challenges people face? Because you, as a coach and a consultant, what have you figured are the most common challenges people face when they're trying to uncover their true potential or their purpose?

Overcoming Self-Doubt and Finding Authenticity

Johnny 53:03

It definitely varies because we all have different, different things. And yet I do think most people at some point in their life started to believe something about themselves that wasn't accurate. And I look at my own story, and when I was four years old, my dad and brother were going to a baseball game. I said can I go with you? They said we'll take you when you're older. And in that moment I said okay, I'm not old enough. Fast forward a few months. We go to an amusement park for my brother's birthday. We go to ride the rides. They go on a ride I want to go with that.

Johnny 53:49

I'm not tall enough. So I start, I make a decision that I'm not good enough and I'm not tall enough, I'm not old enough, I'm just not enough. Now, that was a lie that I lived for the majority of my life, and when you start looking at life through that lens, you're going to find every single way to validate that you're right, that you're actually not good enough. So, whatever it is for people, whether it's they're not enough, for some people it's I'm too much, right, I don't want to scare people, I'm too much, but usually that ends up not being true. And I think the hardest part is that awareness piece to actually discover the truth. And I think some people can get it from other people sharing with them truth about who they are as a human. I also think there's a lot of other ways to arrive there.

Johnny 55:06

I know we're on the age of psychedelics, where that a lot of people have turned to psychedelics to get that internal wisdom. They need a pattern interrupt and maybe their brain isn't functioning in the way it needs to be functioning and they'll turn to psych psychedelics and have that awakening of sorts and other people. It's more of a spiritual thing, it's through prayer and they find their identity in God or a higher power, but ultimately, I think a lot of people really struggle to connect with who they really are. It's like they picked up all these identities over the years of other people that aren't them. So that's going to be my answer is just I think a lot of people that I've seen Self-not.

Johnny 56:05

Yeah.

Paula 56:07

And it's funny you brought that right because we have all like me. The reason I even got very defensive is because, just like you are, I was told from my anger because I'm small and short. So or you can't do that because you're a woman or you're too. Like almost every profession I wanted to be, oh, I was too short. I wanted to play basketball. I kept on being told that, and I'm very good at basketball and I kick ass in heels too, and only because after a while I got tired of being put into a box and being told like what I can? Because the self-not was really coming into me like fuck no. But then I had a very competitive brother and I grew up a tomboy. So he helped kind of take that self-not out of me, because if I didn't have him I think I would have grown up being very what's the word? Victimizing myself or something. Well, like you know, I feel like I'm ugly. I feel like I'm too short. I'm too small, I can't do this. I'm a woman, I shouldn't do this.

Paula 57:17

But I had a very competitive brother who turned anything into a competition. So anytime I hanged out with him, it was either playing video games, would compete, playing basketball. He didn't care if I was a girl or a boy, I'm just competing with you like I won't compete with anybody else. So that helped me become even more loud and be like oh well, you don't like loud, then I'm a shop if I'm more loud. But how does one like okay, I got lucky right Because I had a competitive brother? If I was the only child or I had a sibling who was just like me, you know, I would have allowed the self doubt to eat me. So how do you feel like one way for somebody to overcome self doubt? How did you overcome yours?

Johnny 58:12

Where do I begin it? I haven't fully overcome mine. I know it in my brain. I know that growing up thinking that I was not good enough Was a lie, and yet do I believe that 100% of the time Not yet, not yet. My brain is still rewiring itself so that the key is always going to be that awareness.

Johnny 58:50

And for me it really was a lot of different things, a lot of therapy and ultimately I did end up moving in a psychedelic route where I did six infused IV ketamine sessions with a guided psychiatrist, two hours each, and what I realized and the whole reason I did it in the first place, was there were certain topics that I had trouble talking about. There were so many layers of trauma and PTSD that it built up that upon going to those topics, I'd immediately forget what I was talking about. My brain would go in the self protective mode and shut down. It's like I wasn't able to access that little thorn that was living inside of me to pluck it out. And with the use of psychedelics are ketamine which, by the way, can be used as an anesthesia to put people to sleep, to do surgeries, but given in small dosage, can have a psychedelic effect I was able to look at aspects of my life like childhood and growing up, with some of the dynamics that I grew up with, and access memories that I had completely forgotten about. And it wasn't as big of a deal. It's just what happened. My dad and brother said couldn't go to the game, I couldn't go on the ride. Now, it was me that attached all the meaning to what that meant, and it was me choosing that I'm not good enough. None of that was true. The amusement park had a height requirement so people didn't fall out of the ride and die, so they don't get sued, so they don't go out of business. It had nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with me. It was ridiculous.

Johnny 1:00:51

So that's one of the ways in which I accessed that awareness, and I think it's really challenging to say what it's going to be for somebody else, because I all fit, we all have these unique situations and we all have different ways of ultimately finding that thorn and removing it. I do think it is. It starts with that desire. It starts with I want to remove the thorn. It's like you talk to alcoholics in there like, oh, the first step was awareness that, oh, I might have a problem with alcohol, right?

Johnny 1:01:33

So it's that that, oh, maybe I have that problem with alcohol, maybe I decided this, maybe I am feeling this way because of I don't know. It's that curiosity and then that desire to improve, and I was gifted with that desire to always continuously be improving. And I do want to encourage people that if they do feel hopeless there's so many different things to try like you don't ever have to give up because there's so many different modalities and if one's not working, there might be something else. So just do in research. Just do in research and finding out all the different things that are available to improve and then choosing the one that you align with.

Paula 1:02:31

And that's so true and and that's why I feel like I love having such conversations on my podcast, which involve personal growth and mental health, and because I might sit with six different people. We are, we are battling depression, but what has worked for me is and what worked for them and what worked for that and what worked for that. So it's always good to hear what worked for other people. If you suck at research because I hate doing research, and that's that's one of the reason why I am yet to do my PhD, because I hate doing research but I love having conversations and I love having deep conversations. I mean, look at our discovery call. You know, if I didn't have to run back to work, it would have gone like I go straight into deep conversations and you get to learn things. So I feel like people also need to stop having small talks and actually get to know people. You never know what you might learn and you might end up getting an answer to a prayer that you needed, if that even makes sense.

Johnny 1:03:42

Absolutely, and you're doing research right now.

Paula 1:03:46

Exactly because talking to you right now and digging into your brain, that's research, because I I prepare these questions. I had to.

Johnny 1:03:56

You do research every single day and it just might not be what someone thinks about. Maybe someone on a computer, super introverted, like reading a million articles If research can be, hey, I noticed that person used to be depressed. In the past few times I've seen them. They seem pretty happy. Why don't I ask them what did they do to get happier? And that in itself is research.

Johnny 1:04:31

Absolutely, absolutely. So, coming from that curiosity always, and if you see other people and you want something that they have just be being curious about it and I mean that within reason, I don't you know, it can be a Ferrari and you could ask how'd you get the Ferrari? And they'd tell you their story of how they gained their wealth, there's like but we're talking a little bit deeper, right, because, starting with that, b do have mentality when we see other people being in a certain way that we're like I would love to be more like that. Just reach out to them, connect with them, learn. I'm sure they're gonna want to help other people. I'd like to think they're gonna want to help other people I have.

Podcasting's Impact on Mental Health Journey

Paula 1:05:19

Of the people who have come across, nobody has told me no or I don't want to share or anything. They've really been willing to help. And because we know that the struggle we mentor health, just I constantly. I'm writing a book right now on how podcasting serve my mental health and I did a case study presentation about it. But I'm telling people I'm still battling depression.

Paula 1:05:46

I'm not cured, but I found tools and tricks that help me not get to as deep as how I would normally get to, and podcasting has been one of those things.

Paula 1:05:58

Because anytime I'm going into that all and I allow myself to just embrace it and like, okay, paula, today just be sad, or whatever, I'll end up watching trash TV.

Paula 1:06:09

Because when I'm sad I want to watch trash TV and think about this grown-up people arguing about stupid things just makes me happy.

Paula 1:06:16

I don't know why, but you know it's it's it's my little, but I always end up either coming up with a topic for my, my next season, or an episode idea, or a live idea or a merchandise idea.

Paula 1:06:32

Next thing I know I'm pulling out my notebook, I'm starting writing and that's why I mean like podcasting serve my mentor, because anytime I'm in that I allow myself to be in and immediately I start thinking about my podcast and ideas that everything that comes out like every day my mind is on anything I look at oh my god, that could be a nice content. Let's create this content like that's all my brain works these days and, as we're saying, the journey towards self-discovery and and purpose and grow personal growth. They're ongoing, just like mental health. They're ongoing. They they don't just and what would you say are some strategies you would recommend to people to maintain their motivation and continue their growth journey in times when the challenges tries because I know it can be very hard when shit is not looking right and you're trying to still stay in your purpose, to be motivated to keep going with your purpose absolutely and it's, it's keeping that and I'll say future self.

Johnny 1:07:51

I'll also say go in mind the whole time, and I'm a big sports fan and I'd love to use a sports analogy, and I apologize to anybody, I am a diehard football fan and I make them football yeah, so.

Johnny 1:08:14

So I think most people know the Super Bowl right like, yes, most people know the Super Bowl. So I think we could be okay with this analogy. And when I think about those football players where that is their goal and when they start in the off season usually it starts in February or March it's usually that idea of I want to be a Super Bowl champion or a team deciding together we want to be Super Bowl champions. Well, how do Super Bowl champions behave? And what about when there's those three-a-day practices in the middle of July in the hundred degree heat, when it gets very hard and I guarantee this thought of quitting or do we actually even want to be Super Bowl champions starts to surface, and that those are the real opportunities to identify how badly do you really want this goal?

Personal Growth and Meditation Discipline

Johnny 1:09:20

And if it's a goal that you are committed to and you will do anything at all costs to achieve it, when those challenges pop up, you almost welcome them, because that uncomfort is also a growth opportunity to overcome and upon overcoming it, you're going to be that much stronger and that more, much more aligned with that goal that you have in mind. So for me it's always gonna be that future with it, yes, yes, and know that it's going to get hard in your route there and you're going to find out, like, do I really want it or not? And I don't recommend deciding when it's hot out and you're doing all the workouts and everything decide before that and have some systems to fall back on to when your brain starts to go there.

Johnny 1:10:32

So your brain starts to go to. I don't want to do this. I can't do this. You already know your brain's gonna do that before with the cold plunge a great example. Before I get in it, I know I'm gonna want to jump right back out of it and after the time we set our mind into it.

Johnny 1:10:51

Like you start thinking this way so I can get myself out of it yes, it's like the game is already played before you step on the field, based on the mentality that you show up with. And that's how I look at things and I humans are fascinating and the things they can overcome are fascinating. I think about the four minute mile. And nobody had ever broken the four minute mile. I think it was like that.

Johnny 1:11:21

It was in the 1900s I want to say 1950s that people thought scientifically it was impossible to run a four minute mile. They thought your heart would explode. And the same year that someone finally did it Roger Bannister ran a four minute mile. A bunch of other people that same year did it, and the next year people started bringing it to a different level and running even faster miles. So what really limits us is our ability to know what's even possible, and as soon as we see one person do it, we're like that person's still alive. Then we know that we could probably do it too, if that's where we set our mindset that's not true.

Paula 1:12:11

And, with that said, how do you you personally balance your personal growth while you're also helping others on their path, because it can be easy when you have to. You are leading these people. You have a community that you're also growing, and you have your own personal growth that you have to work on.

Johnny 1:12:37

Yeah, so part of the helping others Is helping yourself.

Johnny 1:12:44

Yes, you already know this, you already know. It's so true and it goes back to that purpose. It's like when I'm in alignment with that purpose and helping other people grow, I am just overwhelmed with joy. Now my own personal. There's certain things I need to do. I need to meditate and at times I really wanna get more consistent with this. Do breath work. Breath work has been a very powerful tool for me, but meditation for me is a non-negotiable. That's something for years I need to do every single day. As long as I meditate, everything else is gonna be okay.

Paula 1:13:32

If I don't meditate I.

Johnny 1:13:34

Yes.

Paula 1:13:36

I've tried and today I actually even sent a funny reel to Lauren. I don't know if you know Justin, he's also part of podcast and he came on my podcast a few. But Justin has his wife and he does meditation and she came on my podcast and she taught me how to find ways to stay in balance when I'm meditating, because I'm a overthinker so I go in my head a lot. So meditation is supposed to get me out of my head, but then instead I start daydreaming, I start thinking of it. So she gave me some tricks which for some minute they are worked, but then I lot.

Paula 1:14:15

It does need discipline. Anything you are doing to better yourself requires discipline, and I did not have the discipline at that time. But today I was trying to do it. I was like maybe I should start getting back to meditation and my thoughts that in the morning I was like I'm never gonna try. And then I come and I see this reel me like I mean there's fishes in a pond and this one fish is trying to concentrate into meditation and all the fishes around it are like yeah. So I sent it to her like this is how I feel my brain. I wanna be able to meditate for at least 10 minutes without. But it is a process. It's a struggle, but I wanna get back into it and I have a proper discipline on getting myself into meditation because I don't know that it's very helpful and useful.

Johnny 1:15:09

It's life changing and most people think that. So when you imagine me meditating today, right, you probably imagine me like peaceful. I like sit down, there's nothing going on in my head, right? No, the truth is, when I meditate, it's about removing all the rules. Like you're off the clock. You're completely off the clock. If your mind is gonna race like crazy, let it the second. You attempt to control that it's gonna wanna run crazier what I do recommend.

Johnny 1:15:58

There's various types of meditation out there. I recommend having a mantra, and that is an anchor word to come back to. And through having a mantra you're like oh yeah, that's why I'm doing this, and you say your mantra. You say your mantra and then at some point your mind is gonna do what the mind does and it runs and it runs. Let it go right, it's running, it's running, running. At some point you'll come back and say, oh wait, I'm supposed to be meditating and you say your mantra and you say your mantra. And it's really in that freedom of allowing the brain to be this crazy human super computer that it is. And just coming back to that mantra and the form that I learned of how to meditate is called transcendental meditation and it was this real formal process I did, where it was like you'd go four days in a row and over 90 minute session. Somebody teaches you how to meditate. They give you a mantra.

Johnny 1:17:09

By the way, my mantra is in Sanskrit. I have no idea what it means and, yes, I could Google it. I don't wanna know what it means because any sort of meaning that I attach to it starts to take away from the actual point of the meditation. So it's just this word that I go back to and I go back to and I go back to, but it doesn't mean anything. I'm just saying a word, all that to say. It doesn't ultimately matter what the word is.

Johnny 1:17:46

That is your mantra. But as long as you have something to go back to and then over time just like you mentioned, by the way, habits according to atomic habits that book they take 66 days to form. It was a study done at this London University. So as long as you're committed and you're gonna do this thing for 66 days, at that point every day after that, it's like brushing your teeth, right, it's just something you do every day it's making to those 66 days is where the stress right, yeah, you know, when you look at 66 days, you're like, oh, that's two months.

Paula 1:18:33

And of every day, like just me waking up every morning and trying to cause once I get into clubhouse at seven to eight and then I start work at eight to nine, like eight, 15, so I always try to get in my morning prayer from my daily app on my phone before I enter clubhouse, but then every time it's six o'clock and I'm like snoozing, snoozing and I'm like so much when trying to also, but it's all discipline. I feel like I really, when you apply discipline and again, being intentional I need to use my word and being intentional in my, in my meditating.

Johnny 1:19:16

And chunk it down if 66 days feels scary. It's like you know the top of Everest for you. Make the goal to get to base camp of Everest and then, when you're at base camp, then you can choose again and I'm gonna keep going right. When I started the cold plunge, I needed smaller goals. I ultimately chose a 30 day, non-negotiable, where I'm taking the option off the table to do it or not do it. I was doing it for 30 days in a row. After 30 days I'm allowed to reevaluate. I'm allowed to do five days out of seven instead of seven out of seven, and yet I know the goal is 100% of the days that I'm able to do it. That still remains the goal and it's like a refinement process to get there. But all I needed to do was focus on 30 days and every single day that went by so I said focus for one week.

Paula 1:20:24

I gave myself a little check mark. One week, that's all you have to do.

Johnny 1:20:27

When I started it was four days. I was gonna learn how to meditate in these four days and then I liked it, so I chose to meditate on the fifth day and the sixth day and the seventh day, and I just kept going. And now it's been a week, I typically meditate for 20 minutes.

Paula 1:20:48

And when I started I would do 10 minutes. Oh my God, it felt like the longest 10 minutes of my life.

Johnny 1:20:56

Yeah, and every day it's different. Some days it really does feel long for me, oh there's one day it felt so short.

Paula 1:21:02

I was like this is weird, but I think because I was slowly getting into the rhythm of it.

Johnny 1:21:09

Yes, our bodies are very rhythmic and if you meditate at the same time every day, your body's gonna just start to crave it around that time. And I do recommend having somebody teach you how to meditate, or there's a great book called how to Meditate and really following a system of sorts, so you're not inventing it on your own. Because I had this question of like am I doing it right? And I had somebody I could ask and they're like yeah, that is. And they gave me seven different things that might happen when I meditate. And it was like I might take a deep breath at some point. I might lose all association with the physical realm Because I'm just in this spiritual place.

Paula 1:22:04

Maybe I need to invest into actually going to yoga and meditation for a month, where I know I'm paying for it and being held accountable, a drive of some sort, because sometimes starting something alone in the house, by yourself, can, however much you want to motivate yourself, can be less motivating because you're by yourself. I can easily come on Instagram and say thank you for meditation, while I didn't do it.

Johnny 1:22:40

And share your goals Like. My goal in the second quarter of this year was to do yoga at least three times a week and when I signed up at the yoga studio, I told them that goal and I was like if you don't see me here for a week, reach out to me, Give me a hard time the next time you see me. Not even a hard time Come from curiosity. Find out what's going on.

Johnny 1:23:08

But this is my goal and the more I shared that with the instructors and there's different instructors of different classes they knew they wanted to help me get there.

Paula 1:23:17

Yeah, because they show it, yeah, because they see you are actually serious, because everybody goes for yoga or meditation for their own purpose, some people to just rest time, some people to stretch, and those people actually are there wanting to learn and be held accountable and try this new thing. So, thank you for that. I'll do that. So, all right, cold showers and meditation and yoga. Oh my God, this is so much homework you're giving me.

Johnny 1:23:49

Just inspiration.

Paula 1:23:50

This is inspiration, not homework inspiration. So, as we wrap this up right, I want to ask you, in your in your expertise, in your own ways, what would you say some key elements that contribute to creating a positive and supportive environment for personal and professional growth? For people out there who are trying to figure it out and trying to find out, what would you say some key elements for them to have in mind?

Exploring Values and Future Vision

Johnny 1:24:24

Environment is huge, so we become exactly like the people and environments that we surround ourselves with. In my opinion, it comes down to your values. And then where are our environments where those values live? Minor peace, connection, freedom. So when you hear that my goal is to be at a yoga studio three times a week, it's an alignment that that's where a lot of peace happens, is inside of yoga studios. That's where connection happens. That's where freedom, freedom happens. If I told you that my goal was to go to heavy metal, rock concerts seven nights a week, in, my values are peace, connection, freedom. Yeah, maybe the freedom, maybe the connection part, but the peace part.

Johnny 1:25:28

Yeah, I don't find peace there. So it ultimately starts with figure it out what are your values? And then what are the environments where those values live, like a church, a church piece, connection. Freedom could be hit or miss depending on the on the church and the messaging of it, but that could be a place where my values live. So really starting to figure out, like, where do your values live? And then just go there, like literally I just walked in the yoga studio, I googled, I found like two that offered the types of classes I was looking for, and I just drove to one and I had conversations with a human being about what it was like to be a member there and they showed me all the class offerings. They offered this great package of you only pay $10 today and you get 10 days of yoga. So guess what I did? I did yoga 10 days in a row to start to build that habit.

Paula 1:26:31

And for 10 bucks, let's take $1 a day this class. That's not bad that was unbelievable.

Johnny 1:26:37

Well, that was part of their funnel then. Now I'm paying like $130 a month or something like that to be part of it.

Paula 1:26:44

They had to pull you in. You know, I mean, if you tell me from the get go $100, when I'm still not sure if I would love the class or anything, I look at you like, okay, I'll be back, you know, because that's $100. But if I paid 10 for 10 and I showed up all and enjoyed giving you 100 per month when I know I get my values here, that's an agreement.

Johnny 1:27:10

Yeah so, but to answer your question, definitely figure out your values. And then where do those values live? And get creative. Don't nature piece connection freedom for me, right, that's that's where those things can live. Also, it's there's so many different places. But if we don't know where our values are, it can start to get confusing, because then we're just trying a bunch of stuff but we're not being really as intentional with the things we're trying. We're just experimenting.

Paula 1:27:46

So true, which is not that experiment. But then, once you've done experiment in the national way, you want to belong, because the guys doing experiments throughout your life is not goal oriented or any of that. Now, jenny, it's been amazing hanging out with you. I can't believe we're actually able to do it today, actually, but this is so much fun. Now, before we go, let us know what life has in stores for us. Let people know what to look forward to from life brand and where people can subscribe for life, and let them know what life is passes to by all means. So the life brand right now.

Johnny 1:28:43

Absolutely so. The vision for life is one of the things I think about all the time is this Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and at the very bottom of that, where people are just concerned about food, shelter, water, versus the very top, where somebody becomes self actualize, I intend for life to have a place for every single, no matter where you are, this idea of come as you are and there's different groupings based on that that are going to appeal to you. So, for instance, we have something called project life, and if we ever ended up having a nonprofit aspect of life, it would be project life. Last summer we we launched project life in the whole point was to connect the unconnected. It was after two years in a global pandemic. People were feeling disconnected and now, for the first time, we were allowed to meet again in person. So we started hosting events and I was living in Austin Texas at the time, so I was doing them in Austin Texas and at the events, any money that was raised they were ticketed events went to the Jed Foundation to raise money to help prevent suicide in teens and young adults.

Johnny 1:30:11

So when I think about life and mazo's hierarchy needs, something like that is people that are really, really, really struggling and them having a place within life. And then the lifey pulse that's on the very other side of the spectrum. It's people that have that sense of security and they could go on that journey of self mastery or self actualization. And every single month we're going to be changing the theme of what we're focusing on within the lifey pulse, but we're going to interview people from within our community that are really on the expert side of things with whatever they're doing, and then feature them and allow our community to be able to learn from them. Now, somewhere in between, there will end up being more retreats, more lifey retreats, something we're talking about right now, and I'm still in the process of deciding how much to do virtually with the community and how much to do in person.

Johnny 1:31:21

Because I think the big big vision would having these little lifey hubs in different parts of the country where you can move from one part of the country to the other part of the country and be able to connect with other people that are also in the lifey community and you could actually do in person meetups with those people. So that's the big, big vision vision, and when I think about my five-year future self, it's this person that has all these different opportunities for people to be able to connect with other people like them and ultimately do life alongside other people that are doing similar things. And as we do this quarterly system, if somebody focuses on one quarter, maybe climbing a mountain I used that example earlier. We actually had someone in our community climb a mountain. You got to meet her.

Paula 1:32:17

By the way, they did climb Mount Kilimanjaro, which is in Tanzania, and I'm from Tanzania. So that was like a wow moment for me and I got to actually speak with her and I was like, oh my God.

Johnny 1:32:30

Yes. So that being an example of what humans are capable, that was a quarterly goal. She climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. Now, finding somebody else in the community that's like hey, I wanna do Kilimanjaro and just being able to really organically make that connection. And then Megan takes on this mentorship role of helping this other person accomplish something that she's been able to accomplish. So that's the ultimate vision as a community. That's all helping each other get to where each other want to go. And how am I gonna do all this? The most profitable thing I'm doing right now is my coaching business. So I do coaching for anybody on the life side of things, I call myself a lifey coach. And then all the way to the business side of things, taking advantage of my 15 years of being in the real estate industry and I actually coached podcasters, real estate agents, just took on a yoga instructor, coached therapists to help them build their businesses, so really small business focus. And through doing that I envision being able to fund everything we end up doing within lifey.

Paula 1:33:46

He'll be coaching me too, eventually, very soon. Soonish someone, right we'll figure it out.

Paula 1:33:54

My future coach, you know. But and that's the thing about you see, being intentional with the connections you make it took one call of 45 minutes which would have gone even more. It actually went a little bit longer. But for me to know that, oh my God, I want a higher journey. I might not have the funds right now, but I know when I make my budget for my future journey it's part of that coaching end.

Paula 1:34:23

And then we have mutual people and one of my mutual friends, simone I hope you all listen to our episodes. She was my guest since season six and we talked about the issues like oh my God, paula, the growth I had after working with Johnny is impeccable. So if you can do it. So I was like, say less, say no more. So you all out there looking for coaches. I used to never understand the importance of coaches, understood the importance of mentorship and having mentors, but I never understood the importance of having coaches or what coaches were for, until I came in the podcasting industry and understanding that there's places where you're gonna need a mentor and there's places where you're gonna need a coach and there are places where you're gonna need a therapist. They're all as important as they are Absolutely.

Johnny 1:35:27

Therapists help you get complete with your past. Coaches help you figure out what you wanna do with your future. Awareness is the key word. It's the through line with this whole industry. It is about helping people become aware of what is possible for them in their lives, and that's what I wanna be doing for as long as I'm here.

Paula 1:35:53

Thank you very much, Johnny. Johnny, it's been amazing. Please let the people know where they can find you, where they can find Liffey, and also leave a piece of advice for that young you who's trying to figure out their purpose.

Johnny 1:36:14

Love it, so my Instagram handle is betonjohnig. The Liffey brand has an Instagram handle, the Liffey brand. It's also got a website, theliffeybrandcom. That's where you could register for the Liffey Pulse. Highly encourage you to do that if you're somebody who is always looking for ways to improve and what other people are doing. We did a whole thing on cold plunging. We highlighted the kill of Vujaro the next month. We did a whole thing on AI this most recent month. Every single month we choose a new theme and we dive into it. We do the research so you don't have to, and then we share with you our findings and then the piece of advice I'd give to myself is don't ever give up.

Paula 1:37:07

Thank you. And for those people, I know sometimes subscribing for newsletters can be very tricky, but, trust me, they don't spam. Half of the time you even forget you have it. Then, once it comes to you, you're like, oh my God, is that issue the new month issue? Because they really do send once a month. And I remember back in the days when you get a newspaper once a month and you get excited of all the information. So it gives me that feel anytime. And we're so amazing to see Mark featured on this one with the AI.

Paula 1:37:41

So again, the way community works, we end up embracing each other and finding ways to support each other and work with each other. So if you are not in any communities, you are missing out. If life is not the community for you, you are missing out. But that doesn't mean that there's no community for you. But I bet your life is a community that you'd want to be a part of, Because you will have a say and you will love it. I've been a new member and I'm excited and I just can't wait for everything that life is about to bring. So, Johnny, thank you so much. Before we go, how do you say your last name? Because this is one long name.

Johnny 1:38:21

That is something that I'm still figuring out. I was taught by people.

Paula 1:38:27

You've learned how many years with this name, Johnny 37 years as of today.

Johnny 1:38:33

Not today it's not my birthday, but I'm 37.

Paula 1:38:35

I was about to say that, but is it your birthday?

Johnny 1:38:38

No, my parents taught me to say it, gian Gregorio, and I had the opportunity to go to Italy and I was taught that you would actually say the G-I-A-N. As Gian, like Giancarlo, gianpa, Gian Gregorio.

Paula 1:38:59

Yeah, Gian Gregorio.

Johnny 1:39:02

Gian Gregorio, that's the proper Italian way. Yes, so here I am confused, because I have these Italians telling me how I should say my name, and then my parents who taught me how to say it a different way, and the truth is, I don't fully know how to say my own last name.

Paula 1:39:21

I mean no offense. Your last name is from Italy, right?

Johnny 1:39:26

Yes.

Paula 1:39:27

So I think we're going to go with the Italians. No offense to your parents, but your dad actually also just inherited this because it goes all the way. So unless you're a great, great, great, great, great great grandfather is alive to tell us how it's pronounced, we are going to go with Italians where they actually know. So.

Johnny 1:39:48

Gian Gregorio.

Paula 1:39:49

Gian.

Johnny 1:39:50

Gregorio.

Paula 1:39:51

You see, that's even the Italian Gian Gregorio, Exactly. Thank you so much, hold on.

Johnny 1:39:59

Thank you for having me.

Paula 1:40:03

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