S7E9 - Reality TV, Relationships, and Women Empowerment Through Personal Storytelling!!

Meet our inspiring guest, Norine, founder of Save Our Sisters, as she recounts her journey of empowering women through conversation, connection, and community. Norine's mission is to nurture a safe space for women to share their stories, foster healing, and amplify the importance of women’s rights. Her narrative of survival and thriving amidst challenges, coupled with the impact of the Me-Too movement, strongly emphasizes the strength of women uplifting each other.

Venture with us into the intriguing world of podcasting and discover its potential in building communities and sharing personal experiences. Norine sheds light on how she cultivates a sense of belonging with her listeners and guests, creating a supportive network within her podcast series and delve into the art of podcast production, exploring aspects of narrative editing and the immense fulfillment derived from providing a platform for individuals to share their experiences. We also dive into the captivating realm of reality TV, unspoken relationship intentions, and the delicate balance of love and like… Dissecting the appeal and perils of reality TV, and how it can influence business growth. 

Finally, we address the paramount importance of self-care and mental health. Norine offers a unique perspective on stress relief methods, imparting valuable advice for those wrestling with the courage to share their stories. We discuss mental and spiritual preparation to face potential backlash and the therapeutic power of storytelling. To get a closer look at Noreen’s work, follow her on social media and tune in to her podcast to learn more about Save Our Sisters and Unplugged. Join us in this compelling conversation to draw inspiration and courage from Noreen's journey.

Norine Fahie, hailing from St. Thomas in the US Virgin Islands, is the creator of Save Our Sisters Group and Save Our Sisters Unplugged Podcast. Her Christian faith drives her passion for supporting women, as she champions resilience as a means of rising stronger after adversity and through her podcast, she fosters a safe space for women to share their stories, struggles, and triumphs, aiming to inspire a movement of empowerment and hope. And as a married mother of three adult children, i

Transcript

Empowering Women and Podcasting Insights

Paula 0:00

But I love it. You know I love it. Okay, Narin, welcome to Talk Shit With Pee.

Norine 0:07

Thank you so much. I didn't know I was gonna be talking shit with Pee.

Paula 0:13

What do you mean? You don't, you didn't know you'll be talking shit with Pee. You RSVP'd girl. I didn't hijack you.

Norine 0:21

I'm not talking stuff with Pee. I'm a small kitten in that world.

Paula 0:30

We'll make it stuff for you then, just for you. There we go.

Norine 0:35

Thank you so much. See a gracious host. This is all we want in this world is a gracious host.

Paula 0:42

Whatever your comfortability levels are, talk Shit With Pee. We talk stuff with Pee easier to accommodate. Oh my God, oh my God Okay.

Paula 0:56

Hi shit talkers, Welcome to Talk Shit With Pee, and I am your host, paula the shit talker. I mean, don't we all like talking shit anyways? Are you a creator? If so, you are in the right space. Talk Shit With Pee is a place where we showcase and celebrate the talents, works and stories of creative minds from all walks of life, while also raising awareness for mental health through providing a supportive space to share their stories, insights and experiences. We will be discussing creative journeys, the high lows and the ways we manage our mental health through it all. Join us each week for inspiring conversations, useful resources and a community of like-minded creators as we dive into the minds of creative beings to explore their journeys, struggles and triumphs. So, whether you are seasonal, creative or just starting out, talk Shit With Pee is the podcast for you.

Paula 1:59

So Noreen and I met through Adam. I think it was Adam's pod par rooms or something.

Norine 2:05

I think it was around the pod. It was that one that he does on Thursday. Oh, on Instagram, yes, so we connected and we've been online and offline friends with about two hours conversation calls oh yeah, I think you had already went to the store and did all your chores, and then I decided I was going to go to the store too and I was like, ok, yeah, that'll work.

Paula 2:31

We were keeping each other company through our hands.

Norine 2:35

Exactly, that was a Saturday well spent too.

Paula 2:39

It really was. It was. Sometimes you need those conversations which just ease your mind and soul and you just chop it up without no expectations and it's just amazing how it leaves you After that. I first saw and reached from our conversation.

Norine 2:57

So and I actually learned a lot. I learned a lot of things to do in the podcasting space. I learned a lot of things to do in marketing myself, marketing my merchandise.

Paula 3:11

I took notes on that phone call.

Norine 3:13

I didn't even call for that. I just wanted to see how you was doing and what were you doing on your day. But, man, I came up with a lot of nuggets that day, so it's always good to really just and that's the thing.

Paula 3:26

It was really a catch up call which ended up being like advice, not only on the podcasting world, but dealing with friends, boundaries, self-care, like it was a full on landing and empowering each other. I love that, but that's your brand You're about empowering women, so what else was I going to accept apart from being empowered from that phone call Exactly?

Norine 3:50

That is true. I love empowering women because I feel like we have been second class citizens, at least some people have considered as second class citizens. I mean, I don't I didn't experience it per se, but there was a time where women couldn't even open a bank account without their husband's permission. We couldn't vote, All these different things that we couldn't do, but yet we are the ones that bring life. So it's like why are we the ones that are treated like second class citizens, where no one could exist without us?

Paula 4:23

Right, the men who have more power are coming from us, no right.

Norine 4:29

Exactly, no one came. You know, it's kind of like that who came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, we know who came first here. You know, we are the givers of life, and yet rightfully so. We should be shown a certain level of respect, and you know and people shouldn't just be tolerating us we bring a lot to society.

Paula 4:52

Marina, that's such a. You're making me think who can first, the chicken or the egg, like literally Well, and then I can't stop thinking because I'm like wait, the egg, but how did the egg get here? The chicken, but how?

Norine 5:06

You know fun fact I've learned that chickens were actually manufactured by men.

Paula 5:16

We don't need to tell them that.

Norine 5:19

Well, it's like cauliflower broccoli, you know. So, yeah, so chicken. I would say that the chicken probably came first made in a lab and then the later.

Paula 5:32

We'll go with that. So can you share with us? You have a podcast called Save Our Sisters and Pluck Podcasts, and you also do a lot with the Save Our Sisters. I've seen luncheons you hold and all that. So where did the inspiration behind starting this Save Our Sisters come from?

Norine 5:51

So you know from pretty much what I just said, I grew up in a very conservative Caribbean environment where women were seen and not heard just like children, and I just wanted to empower myself. You know, I grew up and over time I've been censored and silenced and a lot of things has happened to me in my past that we were told to be silent about and I didn't want to protect my abuser any longer. I was like I'm not enough. You know there's a lot of women out here that are going through different things. You know I wanted to create environments where women can actually come forward and talk about what they've been going through and that where we could be a source of strength for each other and we would be able to inspire and motivate other women to come out and share their stories.

Norine 6:45

So the first part of that was Save Our Sisters, which is the group, and we used to meet in person prior to the pandemic and we would just really talk about those topics that really affect women, like menopause, domestic abuse, childbirth, parenting, trying to get up the ladder at work, mentorship, business coaching, mental health care, self care, self love, teaching women their worth. All those things are things that we talk about in those rooms. And then when the pandemic hit, of course we couldn't meet in person. Everything had to move online. And so I said to myself well, how can I actually keep doing what I'm doing online? And I didn't want to just meet with women online. I create Zoom calls. I wanted to reach a larger platform and so I created Save Our Sisters on plug, which is kind of like the baby too the group Save Our Sisters, so of course you're a podcaster. So those four. Maybe that first year was kind of like a learning curve.

Paula 7:55

I feel like I'm constantly learning in year three, Like every season. I'm learning every episode, I'm learning every. I'm just like, oh my god, when does it stop?

Norine 8:08

I don't think it does, because as things go on in the world and as technology evolves, we're going to move and shake with everything, we're going to just slide to the next. We're always constantly improving ourselves. So when you do that, you set up yourself for success.

Paula 8:29

So true, but it's still overwhelming, especially when you have a part-time job and you're doing this by yourself and you have to learn everything and AI is taking over and it's just like ah. That's why it's so important to recognize each other and support each other, because when you're a podcaster in this industry, you don't get much recognition from your friends because they don't get it, they don't understand, they just feel like, oh, you just talk on the microphone and you know, but there's more to it.

Norine 9:02

Oh my god, it's work. It's, first of all, it's getting the guest talking with the guest, making sure you have a good vibe, and then you set up your interview, but prior to that, you have to let the guest know. Please, I beg you, do not sit in your living room. That is tiled floor, you know, because it's going to create a bunch of echoes. And then you have to ask them to wear headphones. You have to ask them to if you have a mic, you know. Please use your microphone and your headphones, because it improves the sound quality. Make sure you're in a quiet environment. Make sure you have well lit on your face.

Paula 9:41

Make sure they sign and submit the list from on time.

Norine 9:48

That was a struggle for me, as we know. I'm like why is it not like this? It wasn't only you?

Paula 9:57

It wasn't only you. Apparently, DocuSign is trying out this new field of the phone number by not making it right as a phone number. It's making it right as an amount instead of like the phone number. So because I was also signing another phone and I kept on telling the lady like, yeah, this is not working for me, so I had. Then the same thing happened to me. So I realized it's that I went the next pile that went out, I took off the telephone and I just put title so that way people can just type it in. I'm like, oh my god, this was confusing for a lot of people.

Norine 10:33

Yeah, it was definitely a struggle, but I think I bypassed it somehow because I didn't put any number in. But once I saw that submit button, I just hit it and it took it without it and I was like, well, shoot, it went. So I'm good as gold now I'm in, I am going to be talking stuff.

Paula 10:52

Yes, and here we are. And so back to several sisters. Right Now, several sisters is a platform where you empower women in different aspects of their lives, right? So how do you? I know when it's in person? You say the meetups were in person in the beginning. When they are in person, it's very easy to see if people are genuine, if it's coming from the right place. Now, when you're creating it in a community online, making sure that the people who are coming in as safe people and the people who are already in there continue feeling safe Because it's so easy for you, you know, we know there are trolls all over. So how do you manage to keep your online community safe for these souls who are joining your community?

Norine 11:41

You know that's a very good question. I have not had any instances where I have been troll. It has been really genuine women that come in. But if I were to encounter a troll I would pretty much just remove them and block them and Not and not that I have my my sister checking on Tuesday now We'll be checking my zoom platform to see how I can remove them and block them.

Paula 12:10

They be coming a lot, especially make sure. That's why people like giving code for zoom, because if it's an open room, trolls, just like how crab house. You know crab house gets the most trolls ever. So, um, your podcast is about implying women to share their survival to success stories. That's the central theme of your podcast. Could you share, like an example of a particular impact story that has been shared on your platform, and how did the audience resonate?

Norine 12:40

to eat so I have had several and one thing. One thing that I Need to do is not only Prepare my guests for sharing their stories on the platform, I have to prepare myself. So I have had three major impactful ones. The first one was child sexual abuse and that was shared, like in the first year, and the young lady was sharing her incest story and I have to say it was my sister. Some of the things that she shared I knew nothing about, so I at the time did not have a virtual platform, it was just all audio. So I'm glad about that because I think my mouth was open the whole time, you know, because the things that she was saying I Felt like we were living in two different houses with two different parents, and so I really had to internalize that in order for me to do the interview.

Norine 13:48

The second one was traffic, and I did that with Jess rich, and she has shared her story before. She really Makes a movement out of helping women survive human trafficking, which is super important. But when she shared her story, I just had I had like what do you call it goosebumps, just hearing all the things that she had went through while she was being trafficked and when she tried to come out of it and Then the person wouldn't let her. And I think there was one part that really sticks out to me was when her, her pimp, essentially killed her best friend in the room right next to her, and so she heard that through the walls and he told her that that was her fault because she didn't make enough money, so that yeah, stigmatizing it was, and and for me, hearing that, I Know how I felt in that moment when I was hearing that for the first time.

Norine 14:55

I cannot imagine how she felt being present for it in the other room and then the bling yeah. So she definitely had to make her quarter after that. And then there was another one that I think I think was from trauma to triumph, and she shared her story of committing suicide. She had three attempts, three failures, and I think the most powerful and impactful Part of that was when her she shared that her daughter had told her why are you doing that? I would miss you if you're gone, you know, and that that also just really I had to take a step back for that, because, of course, I've never gotten to that point in my life, would I? I went outside myself to think, well, well, how would my kids feel if I would have done something like that. But it's also personal to me because there's someone that's very close and personal to me that has had a suicide attempt and and I know how I felt about that. So that was triggering for me.

Paula 16:09

Listen, you're just giving me cliffnotes over here. I'm already getting a heavy hat. How do you keep your mental health and emotions sane while listening to this survival, to success days? Cuz I know this, the success part is that, oh, you got through that. But hearing those survival.

Norine 16:31

I don't know how I keep myself saying I, you know, I just I just make it a safe space for them to share and then I just deal with myself Afterwards, like we have a debrief session after we do our episode. I would stop the recording and then we would talk about it afterwards. So it's kind of like a cooling down session. So I think talking through it with them and making sure that they're okay, you know, kind of like helps me. So I don't know that I'm keeping it sane. I think it's just because I know it's not about me and I just let them do their thing.

Paula 17:11

That's amazing. It takes a lot. Like I'm such an empathetic person, like I carry everything and I was talking to somebody about that this week. I was like this. So I feel like as much as I want to hear people's mental struggles, like I have a limit of myself, like Cuz I know how much I can take. Otherwise I'll just like I take people's problems as my own, like I will literally. So I'm learning to understand that listen, you're not meant to fix it. You're just meant to listen and and and be there to to hug or Give a shoulder, to cry or just allow them to vent. That's all. You're not meant to to solve it. They don't need.

Norine 17:58

Exactly, and I think when you come from it from that angle, I think that's how you really get through it is that you're like you're here for them. You're here as a support to them. Because I did have one guest that was sharing her story for the first time. She was molested and she was so nervous about sharing it. Luckily she was in my city and so we were able to meet for tea and and talk about it. We didn't know each other prior to that. So I think meeting me in person and being able to see me and touch me and just feel my energy kind of helped her to calm down. So when we did the episode, I mean, even though she was a little bit timid, still you know, she was comfortable sharing what had happened to her.

Paula 18:45

All right, but and you know, we all know that story tearing can play a role in inspiring and supporting Not only women but a lot of people in all different ages. What do you think makes personal stories so relatable and powerful? Because a lot, a lot of that happens in your podcast a lot of personal stories being shared.

The Impact of the Me-Too Movement

Norine 19:11

Because it's it's actually their story, it's a real story, it's things that happen to everyone but no one talks about it, and I think that it's so relatable because these are things that we're fighting for. We're fighting for the rights to own up, to make decisions about our own bodies. You know, whether it be abortion, whether it be you know, to carry the child, to adopt. You know all these things, like women are always fighting to have a right to do things for themselves, and so what makes the story is relatable is that now a lot of women that have been going through things, we are no longer staying silent about it. I mean, look at the whole me-too movement. You know a lot of those women. They have been seeking you, secretly, suffering in silence for years and not if decided that they're gonna speak out, and so with that, a lot of women felt more comfortable, comfortable, coming out and talking about what's been going on with them, which I think is is very important, because once you say it out loud, then it gives you the power to really deal with it, and it gives you the power to really take your own power back and then help someone else that might be going through it, or you can even inspire someone else that's going through it that might not be Ready to share their story yet.

Norine 20:37

One of the things that I do is, before I speak with my clients is I have a syschat, and so in that syschat we're getting to know each other. But what I feel is important is when I share what I have been through with some of the things that I've been through, I'm not making the conversation about them. I'm letting them know that I'm here with you. I have had these things happen too, and so I understand your struggle. But we're resilient, so we're gonna get through this together. I'm gonna help you share your story. I'm gonna help you get it out to the world, but we're still here. We're still connected.

Norine 21:16

We're not just a podcast and buy. You know we're still connected. We'll still check in on each other. If you have something going on, you know you can invite me. Or if I have something going on, I can invite you. Or if I think you'll be a good fit for someone else's podcast, you know. Or if someone would be a fit for yours, you know we're still connected in that area. So we're not just leaving each other by the wayside. You know we're establishing a relationship we're building, rapport we're strengthening in our sisterhood and I think that that's really what's important, because a lot of women can relate to everything. Not one thing on my podcast that we talk about a lot, several things across the board.

Paula 21:58

I like that you're creating a community with your guests and your listeners and, speaking of that, because you have shared a lot on the, on the, on the guest part, what impact do you have these discussions have on your listeners?

Norine 22:15

I you know, one thing that I I wish they would do is the impact that I have. They would actually do a rate and review, but they tell me how to feel about it in the top core.

Paula 22:33

That's the toughest quote to action in the podcasting industry. I don't know what's why, why it's so hard for people to just leave a review. I don't. I have no idea.

Norine 22:42

I review everything. I, I am a google reviewer, they tell me of you have.

Paula 22:48

You have your, your, your, your reviews, which ten thousand, and I'm like that's a thing.

Norine 22:53

Okay, cool, exactly, and I was like I wish my podcast reviews would be that good, you know. But, um, I think it's having a really good impact on a lot of people because they they tell me or they share it, or they make a comment in my group or they DM me and they tell me about it. So I know that they're it is making an impact. And even the women that are sharing their stories they tell me when they've listened, because they do their homework as well. They're not just gonna get on my podcast just to get on it. You know they're gonna listen, they're gonna see if they like me, if they even want to fool with me, you know, if I'm their cup of tea, you know.

Paula 23:33

But you know, some people go on people's podcast without even actually checking out the podcast.

Norine 23:39

It's like people go on those reality shows without even first watching the show.

Paula 23:44

And then you ask surprise.

Norine 23:45

I'm like it's like oh, I didn't know I was gonna be going through so much drama. You didn't. I could have told you, if you go and marry that first sight, that you know.

Paula 23:59

I feel like they just pretend to you know that to cover their shitty attitude and shit, because they just didn't end up getting the person they thought. I mean, I'm a married at first sight. It's almost 17 seasons. If you're applying for that shit, I know you've watched the list once sees.

Norine 24:17

One season at least I know you've watched and, and not only that, even if you didn't watch it, let's just play devil's advocate. Even if you didn't watch it, you know you're gonna have to move in with your husband and live with them.

Paula 24:32

You're married. You literally got married.

Norine 24:37

It's so funny.

Paula 24:39

I. Sometimes I just want to jump into the screen and like, shake them and I'm like but then we understand this reality TV and most people do just go there to get more followers and to up their businesses. So not everybody goes on this with the right intentions and that's why they're becoming more shitty and shitty because you're like yeah.

Norine 25:04

That's true, it's definitely the truth. You tell no lies. No lies detected.

Paula 25:12

I'm still gonna watch it because it gives me nice entertainment. I love my trash TV.

Norine 25:18

I don't even consider it too much. Trash TV, Maybe like the real housewives? Yeah, I could probably. I mean I love that too. I like the social experiments.

Paula 25:29

Yeah, me too, and it makes me also put myself in awareness, like I'm like, oh, you know, I would have probably also acted like that because I know myself. So that's not the right way to act. So I literally run some shit and sometimes I even come up with podcast ideas or event ideas or IG live sessions because of those shows.

Norine 25:54

So it gives me some I definitely have gotten a couple podcast topics off of watching that show.

Paula 26:02

Because you know what this should be a nice conversation to have with people and see where they stand on it.

Norine 26:09

I did a marriage series with that and you know I've gotten some questions and I think the reason I the most reason that I watch it is because I like to hear what the therapist are saying. I like to hear what they're suggesting, some of the things that they suggest that the couples do to like build intimacy, you know, and sometimes I feel like some of those people just are not trying, they just are not in it to try, like, even if you're not attracted, okay.

Paula 26:38

Do the work, enjoy the experiment or just leave.

Norine 26:43

It's like even if the cameras weren't rolling. The one thing there's times that you don't like your spouse. There are times that you don't like your spouse so you're just going to get a divorce because he's done something wrong and you don't like it. You stay in it. Why are you? You know? Why is that your option?

Paula 27:00

And it's my that first I told her strangers what did you expect? To instantly just be like oh my God, we have everything that we like about each other. Even those who have been together for more than five years and going married. I've still not I've had struggles in the money.

Norine 27:16

And there's people that married 30 years plus and you still don't know the person. You're lying down next to every night Like people show you what they want you to see. You just have to pay Exactly.

Paula 27:29

Do you watch marriage bootcamp as well? I do.

Paula 27:34

No, no one is dramatic especially the celebrity ones.

Paula 27:38

I just be laughing and I'm like and this is why people want me to get married. I literally am looking at these marriages and they're like you know, I can wait, I can wait.

Norine 27:50

You have to understand, though you make your marriage what you want it to be. That's what I'm saying, but it's also really important.

Paula 27:57

There's so much power in actually liking your partner more than loving your partner, Because most of the shit people are doing is because they don't like their partner. They love them, but they don't like them Like. It's very important in loving somebody.

Norine 28:12

That's true. That's true, I mean. That means that you would piss on them if they're on fire.

Paula 28:21

Alright we'll talk reality to you all the time but this is how me and Noreen ended up with a two hour conversation is because we jump on every topic and we're like oh shit.

Norine 28:34

It ties into the topic because, you know, I get some of these, these things, especially when the therapists are talking. I take some of that and I tie it into what I'm talking about on my podcast, because it is a lot of expectation on a woman in the marriage. You know, the two things that they say men are to do is protect and provide. Okay, well, he could swing a mountain broom and you know he can tidy up around the house and he could cook a meal every now and then. You know it's like if that's something that you have set for your foundation, that's fine. But there are some people that they go into marriage and they they have these untold expectations.

Norine 29:17

And one of the things that stuck out for me is the Von Franklin. He was on the last episode and he was saying what do you call it when you don't make your intentions known? It definitely is a marriage killer. Unspoken, unspoken intentions are a marriage killer. That's what he said and I just stayed with me and so I take those things and I put it into my. You know, I make an episode out of it. I said hey, you know, what are your expectations about marriage? Or what are your expectations about motherhood or or fatherhood. You know, I take those and I use it in the podcast because those things are life experiences.

Paula 29:57

You know, and that's not true. And he's, he's going through that and but that's not true. So, speaking of that, how do you because your podcast is such an engaging like you take that, you put that in your podcast and you're expecting your listeners to engage on you. So how do you work on the engagement between you, as the host, with your listeners?

Norine 30:21

I try to put like questions out there, like in my group, whatever my topic is, I try to push those questions out there on my group forum, on, you know, on all my social media, so that we can try and talk about it more than just on the podcast, because we want the lesson to be learned. You know, that is the point of it. We want the lesson to be learned. Whatever the lesson is, you know insert. Staying in your marriage. Insert. You know, fighting for your marriage and and knowing when to, knowing when to speak and knowing when to shut up, and I think a lot of people don't know when to shut up. You know there's a way that a man looks at you that you know.

Paula 31:06

You know what, maybe Let me get my mom. Sometimes you're poking, poking, poking and you deserve what's going to come if somebody is on the show and, like yo, cut it out and you're still pushing. If they slap, you probably deserve it. And I don't condemn violence, but sometimes we push.

Norine 31:28

Yes, I think sometimes we push too much. You know, listen, I my husband is a very soft spoken guy and he can just look at me like once. I know that these eyes are coming. I'm like you know what. Maybe we should push a pin in this. I can't go back Because.

Norine 31:55

I'm like once the eyes come. You know he doesn't. He's very soft spoken. You know he can. He can tell somebody to go straight to hell and you wouldn't even know that he's telling you go straight to hell because of the tone of voice that he uses. He's so soft spoken.

Paula 32:10

So when those eyes come, it's like I need to come down, so you better shut out and we'll get back.

Norine 32:22

I'm going to go to the conversation where I listen. I'm going to listen.

Empowering Women's Voices and Collaboration

Paula 32:29

Oh, my God, I love that and that's so important. Have you ever tried using those questions on Spotify or the yeah?

Norine 32:41

do you get, do you get time to get people to use my speak pipe? I think nobody has ever used it.

Paula 32:48

I think only one person has ever used it, I think, on mine.

Norine 32:53

In my situation, I was the one that used it, I had to test it out, so I don't have anything. But I would love people to just use my speak pipe and just leave me a message, you know, because I would love to create an episode where, you know, maybe somebody wants to ask a question and if there's a ton of questions or if people have responses, you know, I would love to really incorporate that because I think it's important. I want to hear what people are thinking and I want to hear what they have to say, you know, and maybe I can pull them on one time, you know, and just have them do their thing, you know, speak their mind and get what they need to get out.

Paula 33:32

Just keep pushing it. You never know. Just keep pushing it. One day you wake up and be surprised. You know, I want senior inbox. You know, don't?

Norine 33:41

don't give up on it, other than the people trying to only services, to market it for $35 and like, oh, yeah, I'll get you 2,500 listeners.

Paula 33:52

I'm like oh thank you, you're so sweet, but no thanks for that. Women empowerment is a significant focus of your podcast, as we've already come to terms with that. In your opinion, what would you say some of the key steps or actions that women can take to uplift and support each other? But in the past, now, and professional lives, because we know women can be the biggest haters oh my God, it's like God, slow down, we can all win together.

Norine 34:27

The biggest thing is competition.

Norine 34:29

Stop looking at each other as though we are rivals.

Norine 34:33

We are equals, and so we need to come off our pedestals and just come down to a space where we can all just be our authentic selves, you know, and then we, we learn each other's stories, we learn where each other comes from, you know, and just have a sense of humility.

Norine 34:53

And I think once and of course, even in a professional world I've seen things happen, because I work for big corporation and I've seen a lot happen. Whereas one person makes it up the ladder and she burns the ladder on her way up, she doesn't care who gets, who comes behind her, you know, and it's unfortunate because, as we've established already prior, women have not been acknowledged and especially and we were still fighting for the wage gap, you know. So that's a struggle that affects all of us, so why do we have to be separate? So I think if we stop looking at ourselves as competition and look at ourselves as equals, I think we would get more accomplished. I mean, we have so much more in common that we have differences, and once we start creating those spaces where we can really share what we have been going through and we can see how much we have in common and see how much we can add to each other, then maybe we can come to a consensus and work more together, you know.

Paula 36:04

I love that there's space for all of us to win and and the thing is, joining the podcasting community has taught me so much more on support and I hope us as women, or just even friends and family, could just support. I feel like people only support once they start working on their shit and building it and they understand how hard it is. That's the point to come this when they start to look at, but only because they want support on their. You know is a cool, yeah, but I feel like there's room for all of us and you supporting someone doesn't take your, your blessing away from you. It actually increases your blessing.

Norine 36:48

That's the funny thing Exactly, and that's what they need to understand. It does not. I always say how does that affect your life in any way? For you to just be kind to someone else, give them a tip, and it's. It's even in the in the podcast world, like you mentioned, when I first started I would ask people stuff but it was like, oh yeah, for $100. Yeah, I can show you how to do all these things, I'm like for free. So can YouTube. So you know most of my information, that I learned about podcasting and what equipment I would need and all that you know. I've learned from YouTube or I've learned from watching free tutorials and, matter of fact, I think that's how I found Adam, because I was learning how to do a podcast. And then here it pops up podcasting business school and I'm like, well, where else would you learn about podcasting?

Paula 37:40

And the amount of free knowledge Adam keeps pouring out for people. You'll be like. You know you could actually be charging. This shit is like. They said some things which they can also Google and they can get, so what's the point? But they want to go deeper than yeah, and that's the thing it's okay to give.

Norine 37:58

Why do we need to hoard all the information? And let's even go back further with the women, you know, empowering each other. You know, as we know, as black women, we have different things that happen with us, so our health care is even different. The representation that we have in a health care world like, let's say, we have higher mobility rates after childbirth, you know, and people think that we can just tolerate all these. We have a high tolerance for pain and so when we ask for the drugs, they're thinking no, no, the first mind is not. Oh, she's in pain. The first mind is over there and at it. You know, we have a lot of things that we deal with in our stigmatized, stigmatized, stigmatized.

Norine 38:51

You know, and we have enough to deal with just as black women. But this is why we need to have our counterparts be a part of it, so that we can learn all of our differences, so that we can all have the correct representation in every space.

Paula 39:10

That's not true and I love that. I feel like we do need to understand that. And the thing is, most people don't understand that just because you support somebody and they make it way before you up there, most people always tend the genuine people always tend to remember who helped them along the ride and get there before you, but they'll be the ones who pull you up there. So instead of you not supporting, you're missing an opportunity. Maybe they're the ones who are supposed to return that favor on you, but because you're so. That's why I like supporting people anytime I can. Any chance I can get to support, to share, I'm just always out there supporting because I know my blessing will come one way or another and it doesn't have to just share somebody's shit. You're constantly sharing Beyonce and she doesn't give a fuck about you. No offense, but okay.

Norine 40:01

Because she's not spending you and your money. You could be part of that behalf for a long time, but where is it getting you in life, right?

Paula 40:13

Right. So your podcast also emphasizes on the importance of using one's voice to create change. How do you encourage your listeners to find and express their voices, especially when discussing challenging or sensitive topics? We know how hard it can be to talk about certain topics, especially taboo topics, or expressing what you have been through, just like how you shared earlier when your sister came on your podcast and she shared that story and you were trying to understand because you're like damn, are we in the same house? Because everybody's perspective in certain things or how it happened it does, it's different, right, and you might be in the same journey and live in the same house and live two different worlds, and you're like damn, that was happening under this room. So how do you encourage your listeners, your guests, to express themselves and use their voices?

Unplugged Podcast

Norine 41:14

Well, first off, I think the first thing that I always asked is have you shared this with anyone before? And 90% of people have already shared, so that is already taken care of. For those that haven't, I always ask them if you know, I check in with them with their mental health first to see are you okay sharing this? And you know what are the consequences of you sharing this. Who's going to be upset if anyone? But I also let them know this is your story and you have a right to share it. The people that might be involved may not appreciate you sharing it, but here's the end of the day, it's your mental health that matters and if this helps your mental health to share it, then it's your responsibility to protect that. You know you have to protect your peace. You have to protect your sanity. You know your mental health matters and you matter, and what you're saying may help someone else. So I always encourage that and I also let them you know, I let them understand that it's okay for you to do it. It is your right because it's your life. It happened to you. It's your story. You share it. You tell it however you want. Now, if it comes out that because I'm not fact checking and if somebody blows back, you know, and said, hey, that's not how it is, you know, is that happened to me. It happened to me. I shared my story and my sister was like, well, you're only sharing one perspective. And I'm like, yeah, my perspective, my perspective, matters, you know. I tell I told no lies.

Norine 43:02

You know, the point is when people are ready to share, we have to really create these safe spaces for them to share. You know, I am a resilience coach in training currently and I really love to let people know where they can shine. You can come back from this. You know, this is your life. You have to bounce back. We can't have those, you know, those beliefs holding us back that well, maybe if I share it, you know this person is going to be upset with me. Let them be upset. Why are you protecting your abuser? They don't care about you. They're already sleeping well at night. They're fluffing their pillow, they're drinking their hot tea, they're going to bed, you know, and they're sleeping peacefully, while you're up at night or you're wasting money on a therapist chair because you're holding us in protecting their secret. It makes no sense to me.

Norine 43:59

So I have to make it, you know, okay for them to share what they have been through because it's important. So that's really what I hone in on is making them feel comfortable sharing what they have to share and letting them know listen, this is your voice, this is your truth. Now, if they want to tell their truth, you can definitely give them their number, give them my number, and I will be certainly happy to hear their side of it. But, you know, I just want people to understand that it is okay to tell people what has happened to you. We cannot keep staying in those spaces that say what happens in the house stays in the house. No, not every household needs to be treated like Vegas.

Paula 44:42

That's so true, and you touched upon making them comfortable and creating a safe space. And, as we know, your podcast is titled Unplugged. We all know that unplugged suggests authenticity and raw conversations. So how do you stay true to this idea of having those raw, authentic conversations, especially since, again your podcast you don't do first checking, no casting too.

Paula 45:12

This is one of the reasons I haven't been on our podcast here, just because she literally told me you can't cast in here and I was like I understand and I respect that and I will prepare myself for that.

Norine 45:28

No, we want people to be the authentic selves, but we want them to also just be. The unplugged part is you're sharing things that the world doesn't hear. You know we're going to the root cause. We're picking off the scab. You know you're telling us details of what you've been through and when you really listen to those episodes that I've told you about, those ladies are under the scab. They have shared, blow by blow, things that have happened. That is their authentic self. That is what's unplugged. You know the the plugged part is I was raped. The unplugged part is I was raped repeatedly by five guys and this is what they did. You know you get. You go deep. We're going deep.

Paula 46:17

You know, have you ever, have you ever had an episode where you didn't put out because it wasn't as raw or as authentic as how you're what you save our sister's unplugged is meant to be?

Norine 46:30

No, no, all right. I like that Because they still have something to say. It's not for me to judge what I feel is authentic. Like it's not a movie, it's not like a lot they're not auditioning for. Like a lifetime movie.

Paula 46:45

Oh no, I mean, there's certain times when you have an episode like I've had a guest come and they wanted to talk to about the. They were recently diagnosed with a mental illness and they wanted to come and share the pointers and everything. But then when they came it was written like I was pulling her leg forward to answer, I was asking her question and she was giving one word answer instead of actually going deeper with the cover, like explaining it so that we can understand, and it just felt like like watching, like you know me listening to it. I was like there's no information and I felt like I was trying, but even the trying that I was doing together information wasn't as. I was like listen, if I put this out, we are both going to look bad because it's not doing anything.

Norine 47:36

But I wonder, in my sister's chat I would discern this person is going to not talk as much.

Paula 47:46

You know you get them to feel I mean they could show up there 100% on their sister, because, again, she has been on my podcast before. We have done a whole different episode with her. I've met her in real life so she could, she could be 100% on your sister then on the day. So she was like, and it felt like she was still on the day, but even I was like, are you tired? Do you want to reschedule? Cause it didn't feel like she was in the right space, but I don't know. So that's why I asked that question, because I'm just like yeah, I haven't had that happen yet.

Norine 48:23

I've actually had the opposite happen, where in the cis chat they were like you know, just me, you know, and I'm like I don't know how this is going to go. And then when the episode comes out and we're recording, it's like it's showtime.

Paula 48:42

So, even though you feel that may, you still ended up sketching out for an interview, and then she surprised you.

Norine 48:47

Yeah, because if they, were I like that I'm not going to discourage them from sharing. You know, the whole point of it is to share. So there's not a level of unplugged that I need people to be before I say I'm going to put the episode out, because we've had conversations where we talked about self-love, self-care, and it wasn't someone sharing that deep story. We're just talking about things that affect women and things that women should know, you know. So it's all encompassing in the women's empowerment.

Norine 49:19

Yes, people share their stories on the podcast, but they also we also talk about things that are happening to people in real life. You know, we just have things that we talk about. I think it was one time where I shared on another ladies podcast what I always put it in. You know, I always added on mine as an episode and we were talking about that one lady with that her child's father. She had one child with him and she had three other kids and he came and brought food for the one child and didn't bring for all the other kids and she done.

Paula 49:53

It was an TikTok.

Norine 49:55

Yes, I was like why? First of all, he's not obligated. I mean, it would have been nice if he'd brought a Happy Meal for all the kids, but he's not obligated to do it. Feed your children.

Paula 50:10

Exactly, and you also don't know that guy's situation Maybe you could only afford that and he wanted to show up to see his child with something for his child.

Paula 50:21

Exactly so stop discouraging the men for what they're actually doing just because you have bigger expectations for them. That's not his kids. Exactly Because sometimes I'd be reading this and people are saying, oh, if I'm going to on a date and this guy's asking me out and he knows I have kids, they should pay for my babysitter Girl. It's the first date. If you can't afford your own babysitter, you shouldn't be going on a date. No, no.

Norine 50:52

And don't bring the kids on a date with you and expect them to feed everybody. That's Now. If you do that yeah, if he's a good guy he'll probably feed everybody. But you're probably not getting the second date, that's for sure.

Paula 51:04

Yeah, I'm not feeding you if you're bringing your kids.

Paula 51:06

I'm sorry, like, especially if it's our first date, unless you've given me a heads up and I said, okay, they can come or something, but no, and the thing is, even when I go on dates, I tell people I only pick restaurants, places. Even if in my head I'm like a guy supposed to pay or he might pay, I still make sure I have my own money Just in case. But if that person chooses a place and it's out of my budget, I will choose a nicer place until, especially for the first date, and I don't go there with the expectations that he will pay, but I'm hoping. But that might make me figure out if you deserve a second date or not, and I'm hoping you do. But depending on how we discuss, because there's certain times I'm like, since I asked you out, this date is on me because you didn't have plans of coming out. Like, you decide to pay, that's fine, be the gentleman that you are. We put so much expectations on people and expectations that are not even supposed to be there, you know.

Norine 52:10

Unspoken expectations no. And you just blindside people like that.

Paula 52:16

Yeah, yeah, and you mentioned your podcast covers a wide range, right, and we know. Topics include business, finance, self-development and relationships. How do you come up with your themes for? Do you do them season wise? Do you just mix with the flow? How do you come up with your themes for your podcast?

Norine 52:38

It all depends on what's going on in the world sometimes. For, like my marriage series, you know, I did that like in a month of February. I tried to, I tried to schedule, but I'm still in corporate America, so that turned out to be a nightmare. But you know, father's Day, mother's Day, I kind of try to go with what's going on in the world. So I just I just gear it around that. But if someone just wants to, it's more along the lines of just sharing. I don't really choose a topic. Now, if I, if I want to have a specific topic, then I would go to specific people and ask them to talk about it. So I'll have like an expert and I will just have a discussion about it. It wouldn't be like a deep share, it would be just informational episode, you know what I mean.

Paula 53:27

I love that, yeah, I love that, and I enjoyed your Father's Day series. It was good to see Adam in a different light. I'm so used to Adam is that my, you know, I, I, I consider Adam my mentor, literally like I go to him for any and everything. So, um, to see him on this, which I got to experience him as a father in Orlando with Anna, but to hear that different perspective, cause anytime I listen to him it's always podcasting, podcasting, podcasting.

Norine 53:55

Yeah, and he was like man, you know, no one has ever asked me to talk about that and he was really excited to do it and, yeah, he dropped a lot of nuggets. I'm like oh my God. You know all the women are probably don't listen. I was like, yeah, make sure you send me a picture with photos, because I don't need anybody to be in me for your phone number.

Paula 54:18

I literally just messaged him last night. I literally just messaged him last night cause Hannah starts school on Monday, so I was sending my my Hannah message and then I also was like but no, like, you are an incredible father. The way you're so active in your kids life, training them sports, being day to day like it's incredible, very inspiring.

Norine 54:42

I really enjoyed interviewing him because he really left so much information and tips and and that just speaks to who he is you know that's what he does he's a teacher and so he's just teaching you how to be a father, but he was excited and passionate about it. And see, and when I have guests that are really passionate about what they're going to talk about, it makes the episode even so much more amazing.

Norine 55:07

And the fact that I barely had to edit that one because he already came with the idea of equipment and the sound that we didn't. I was like, adam, I'm not even going to send you my standard email on how to present yourself with the headphones and the lighting and all that. I'm like I wouldn't even insult you with asking you to do that. I'm like I already know you're going to sound and look amazing, so let's just get in it.

Paula 55:30

He did Even. I remember when he came on my podcast and we did the 300, I did not edit that episode. And it makes so much fun when somebody comes in and you talk and you either have only a little bit of editing because either of the technology or just where, sometimes you shared something and you're like, oh, I need to cut this off, but I'm not like, I love that and you know, okay, adam, get your flowers. Never say, we, never say anything nice about you on live. So, speaking of collaboration and networking because again we ended up collaborating and networking through Adam what would you say? Oh, my God, let me get my mind. You know I broke my tooth, is broken, so it's giving me a hard time because my tongue keeps pushing it, because it's like standing halfway. So, oh, boy, bless your heart, thank you, thank you so. So, all right, let's try this again Collaborate Stop making me laugh.

Paula 56:43

No, you're adding to my editing.

Build Community and Connections Through Podcast

Paula 56:45

Okay, collaborating and networking are crucial in personal and professional growth. As we know, me and you have. I've met. It was through networking with Adam and we have ended up collaborating. How do you envision your podcast fostering a sense of community with your listeners and your guests and encouraging them to connect and collaborate with each other? Because you get to know sometimes your guests don't end up listening to other episodes. You know people always end up. Not everybody listens to all episodes. Some people pick, depending on the title on that, but you get to know every story because you get to be the hosting this. So how do you bring that connection and networking with your listeners and your guests in your community?

Norine 57:37

So what I missed this year because I had so much going on. But what I have started doing is I have a Zoom call, so I have a and I stream it to my Facebook group so to save us this group on Facebook, and so I invite all the guests that were on my show that participated in the episodes, and so I invite them to talk about why they wanted to share and how they felt sharing, and they get to meet the other guests and see who they are, and the people get to see who they are, you know, and they get to ask questions. So I kind of integrate it in that way.

Paula 58:18

I like that kind of like. Adam's potpour zoom party by yours is, like you know, building that community.

Norine 58:26

Yeah, we didn't do it too much like a formal thing.

Norine 58:32

I introduced each one and I introduced what they share in the episode and you know they got to speak and talk about why they wanted to share and you know how they felt about sharing and what happened since it.

Norine 58:44

So it was kind of like a caught, a catching up type of thing as well, to to see where they're at when they had anything changed. And you know, some people went on twice you know I've had them on the podcast more than once and so they were able to really just see who else has been sharing and put a face to the voice, so to speak, and then they would be able to collaborate on their own. Because I've had a couple of the women say, okay, you know what, I'm going to reach out to you afterwards because I liked what you say here and I probably need to talk some things through with you. So I think, you know, just integrating my Facebook community and with my guests, you know, is really really good, and then, of course, it's open forums. So if anyone wants to ask a question or or ask the guests a question, you know they are free to do that. So I'm so glad you asked me that question. I would have never thought to.

Paula 59:39

I love that and I love that you do that. Time is making me do one or start doing one of those and I'm still kind of figuring out if I want to do it as a Zoom or an IG live kind of thing once a month, because I went on his podcasting audit and during the audit he gave me ideas to integrate, to continue bringing this engagement and to grow my community, because at the moment I am writing my book and it should be done by end of this year, so I'm trying to build that up before my mom comes.

Paula 1:00:13

But I like that you have that like, you know, like kind of like unhappy, or come meet me because it's so important, the power of community and actually nurturing those connections, because that's what I've been learning to be more intentional with is nurturing the connections I make, because people connect and it's so easy to forget about that connection and if you end up losing on what that connection might bring to you because we didn't, naturally it's. I love that. You do that for your, for your guests and your listeners, and you know it's beautiful. So what would you say has been some of the most rewarding moments or feedbacks you have received from your listeners or guests since starting the podcast?

Norine 1:00:58

The feedback that I get is what I'm doing and how it's so important what I'm doing so it makes me feel like what I'm doing. I know that I'm walking in my purpose, but they validate it. So when they're telling me, noreen, you know what you're doing such a good job and I love how you're really expanding our community and you're allowing women to just share what they've been through, you know, it just gives me that validation that I that I need, because some people say, oh, I don't need validation, no, you want to.

Paula 1:01:31

It is especially when you're doing podcasting and it takes a lot more to do than just validation is important, that's why we want them. That's why we want those reviews. Okay, if you want to be validated, exactly, yeah.

Norine 1:01:51

You know I love when they let me know how they feel about it. You know, I had a guy he did my fatherhood series and he said you know what, noreen, I had trauma to try on it. Just really it stayed with me because it was it wasn't really triggering but it was something that he could relate to personally because he had the same struggle. That was the one that had the attempts on her life and so, and then it helped him to share with me. So I felt really good about having that feedback and he opened up. It just made him open up to me and share that with me. You know he'd only shared it with his wife and I was the second person. So I felt really privileged and honored and humbled that he was able to open up and share that with me.

Paula 1:02:45

I love that, it really is. Recently a friend of mine went to a conference in Vegas and when she came back and as soon as she saw me she pulled me aside and she was like I just want to say I never understood, but now I do Like the reason why you do what you do. You share your story. You give people the platform to share your story. I understand how important it is. I was listening, she was telling me. I was in Vegas in a conference where I was listening to all these rich people share about their struggles and then seeing all these people walk up to them and saying because of your story, my life changed, because of you sharing your story, my life changed. So I know how important it is and that felt so good. I was like, oh my God, finally my friend is getting it.

Podcast Success and Balancing Multiple Roles

Paula 1:03:36

But, also to be validated, like what you are doing does matter. Ne mighty tempts people a little more time to process or to come to terms with it. Yeah, but it does matter. Even when I find reviews online with somebody who I don't even know found out, found my podcast and left a review, I get like, oh my god, it means different when it's from a listener, compared to because we can easily ask our friends or family or even take their phone and write a review. But that doesn't feel shit. It feels more important when I listen and just felt something to that episode and came and left a review. That's why we keep asking this listeners, please leave us reviews.

Paula 1:04:20

I remember a friend of mine. I remember a friend of mine who listened to my mother's day episode and she went and I hadn't even asked her, I saw it from when the email came. She went and left me a review on Apple and telling me how this podcast has motivated her to go ask her mom certain questions and to have certain conversations with her mom and that felt so good. I was like, oh my god, so I'm not just here embarrassing my mom and myself.

Norine 1:04:48

Yeah you know adds value. You know it does add value. I mean, I've listened to some podcasts and not that I'm a snob, netted, I got my sound together and my quality is 100%, you know. But when I listen to a podcast, if I hear like a lot of static and all that, it just my brain is just automatically shut off from it. And I think that's why I make sure that my podcast has impeccable quality.

Norine 1:05:23

When you listen to it, the audio is awesome, because I don't want people to be turned off. But I want you to tune in, I want you to get comfortable, I want you to listen. I listen to podcasts while I'm working. I'm still working remotely, so I turn on a podcast and I listen to it while I'm working or while I'm doing a dishes or while I'm doing laundry, like I like to feed my soul with what other people are going through and I'm like empath. So I've had some where I have really just cried and I'm like man that you know that was so touching, like that's that it just stays with you and I'm like what I'm feeling right now is what I want my listeners to feel.

Norine 1:06:09

I want them to go on the journey with me, you know, and my guests, because it's about them, you know. I want them to go on the journey with me. But there I've shared portions of my story on my podcast. I did share the big story on LinkedIn and I think I still have that posted.

Paula 1:06:28

The IG live. You did I mean the. Linkedin live you did?

Norine 1:06:32

Yes, I was. That was the first time that I had actually really set it. To set it live, I mean, yeah, recording by yourself and you just have audio. Yeah, you know you can turn.

Paula 1:06:44

You can turn that. You can turn that audio into a podcast and put it up on your podcast.

Norine 1:06:50

Exactly, yeah, I couldn't figure it out.

Paula 1:06:59

I got you, I got you and I like that. I remember I used to put sound on my, on my audio. Like you know, when my podcast is playing, this sound is about. And then one listener told me the sound is distracting and I was like you know what, let me, let me do an experiment. And I went to podcast with sound and then I went to those without sound and I realized now I end up day dreaming on the ones that they have sound, I don't pay attention, my mind says yeah. So I was like, oh fuck, this is how people have been experiencing mine. This is not how I want them to experience. I stop putting sound. And I was so glad because it would take me forever to find those right audios on uncle to put to make sure that the sound is not so high, cause some of the uncle tunes have, like the stats low, then they go higher. And I was just like, thank god I don't have to go through all that anymore now, like damn.

Norine 1:07:56

Yeah, my aunt always asked me well, when you're, when you're doing the ones by yourself, why don't you just add sound to it? And I have. And but now I see how I can plug my phone into my interface with the, with the auxiliary cord, and so I can control and I can hear it while I'm doing it how loud the sound is. So, I can do that.

Paula 1:08:21

Nice.

Norine 1:08:23

Yeah.

Paula 1:08:23

Alright, must be nice to have a sound guy.

Norine 1:08:28

I mean, he's my uncle official IT guy, he is my. He used to be my editor until I realized that I have to do this myself because this means I have to work on his timeline, which was messing up my timeline.

Paula 1:08:42

Yeah, you want to get shit done, you gotta do them on your time, exactly. Unless you're paying somebody, that means they work on your time. But if you're not paying them, you can't explain them to work on your time.

Norine 1:08:56

And I'm, you know, I get the takeover spirit. So I like to hold on to my baby and I like to edit it myself, because there's some things that an editor wouldn't know to edit. You know, or maybe I'm feeling a certain type of way about something I said and I could just edit it myself.

Paula 1:09:14

And that's the truth, because it's your baby and me too. I like that. I had to learn to edit by myself because it also made me aware of what and what not to do, and that's where the editing has become. I used to take two hours to edit, three hours, four hours. Now it has gone in an hour I can be done, and that's why I'm working and doing shit like I'm on the bus. Thank God for uncle, because I do very simple editing. Like sometimes I don't even take up the call for anything if I say something wrong, like we make mistakes. I want you to feel like you're just sitting with me there, because this is how I talk. Yeah, sometimes mispronounce words, I sometimes call, and that's fucking okay, it's okay.

Norine 1:09:52

It's okay, yeah.

Paula 1:09:55

So, as the owner and us, you wear multiple hats to make the podcast successful. How do you balance the role as an interviewer, content curator, advocate for women's empowerment, and you're also in the corporate world?

Norine 1:10:11

I do that all terribly. Every day I have to have a work life balance schedule. It's not like an overall. I try to do my my, my episodes. I do my recording. Monday, wednesday, friday, tuesday, tuesday is for, is for editing, and then the weekends is for, like my husband, like anytime after six or seven o'clock, you know, in the day times during the week is for him family time, you know. So I balance it that way. But sometimes work gets hectic and then it runs over. So I just take one day at a time and I just assess the day, you know. And if, and he's into music, so if he's going to go downstairs and listen to his music, cool, I can go ahead and do some content and schedule it so that it can go out all by itself, you know. So I just try to take everything just one day at a time. Just like, just like life.

Paula 1:11:15

And giving yourself grace. I realize how it's important to give yourself grace because we, we go. We be so hard on ourselves when we don't complete that list or something doesn't get done. But look at all the other things you're completing. Even if it was just one of the tasks you were able to complete, that tomorrow is another day. It's not the end of the day.

Norine 1:11:39

And if I sleep, I would definitely get up and I would do something. You know, because that's just how life is. You know, if you can't sleep, you might as well be working right.

Paula 1:11:50

Oh yeah, I always like, especially on Saturday and Sunday, during the day I'm so lazy, I day drink. I'll give myself, like you know, because I also have a full time job, which I really hate, so it takes my week days. So on weekends I do that, but then the secret of my day drinking is that I will sleep early. So by five, six o'clock I'm passed out. But then it gives me that I wake up by midnight and I like working late at night because there's no distractions. You know, during the day the cars are moving people at the pool. You feel like your phone is ringing, instagram is showing people on brunch. Then you're like maybe I should go on brunch too, and it's just so much.

Paula 1:12:33

At night, even if you want, the distractions are there online. You really can't go out into the pool late at night because our pool course is by nine. You can't so. So it really gives me that peacefulness to work and edit and create content and by the time it's it's time to post it. I'm posting it by night, just when I'm just on my phone creating the content, coming up with captions, you know, doing all the shit that needs to be done. I've recorded a lot at night.

Norine 1:13:03

Only the aliens are up.

Paula 1:13:06

I love it, I love it. So what would you say? The future of unplugged is what should we, what should we be looking forward to with unplugged? Save our systems.

Norine 1:13:18

Oh and evolution. You know I am trying to really get myself more, be more intentional about what I talk about. You know, even though folks are sharing their stories, on the episodes where I am just talking solo or maybe I'm not sharing someone's story but I have, like, a co host I am more intentional. I will be more intentional about getting those impactful life stories out. I don't talk about politics and I don't talk about too much religion on my podcast because I I feel like those two subjects, those two subjects, could start a fight.

Paula 1:14:02

Because everybody is entitled to their feelings, the emotions with the one and it's so easy for you to just go from. Okay, I get where you're coming from to you know what?

Norine 1:14:18

We're stopping recording and we're ending the call, you know. So I want to be more intentional about getting more of those topics that like, for instance, on Tuesday, what's Tuesday? Tuesday is the 22nd, so I will be having a cis chat and then in that, sister, we're talking about mom guilt. You know a lot of women go through that. Whether you have a child or not. You, you know you can talk about mom guilt because every woman may go through it at one point and it could be it could be your own mom. You know we've seen our moms go through a lot while we were younger.

Norine 1:14:57

We only knew them as moms, so we could see their flaws maybe not as a child, but as we are now grown women, we could see where they may have felt guilty about some things. Like myself, I was a single parent. I wasn't as present for my kids because I was going through divorce, I was raising three kids on my own, I was going to school and I was working two jobs. So I have a lot of mom guilt about not being there for them and not being in the moment because I had so much going on in my head. You know I felt like I missed out on a lot of potential good conversations with them. You know, like my daughter had a whole chart here on the you know the height chart. She had done that. I didn't even know what was happening. She kind of like took charge and she would measure them and I'm looking at this thing and I was like, well, she was doing that a long time.

Norine 1:15:55

You know I missed out on portions of their life because I was out there life and you know I had to. I had to make my world turn. I had to make sure we didn't lose the house. I had to make sure all the bills were paid. I had to make sure that they were going to school, like there were times where I had to go to three different schools for for the parent teacher conferences, you know. And then you know the kid that's doing well. I'm like, okay, we're not going to go to talk to your teachers because we already know that you're doing excellent in school. I'm going to go to the ones that are failing and find out why they're failing. But even though that's my logic, that child is that's doing good.

Paula 1:16:32

She may want to hear that teacher saying she's doing well, so it's like, oh, she might be doing well in in class, but socially in school. I knew you are missing three of that. Yeah, so this sister chat, is it open for everybody?

Norine 1:16:49

Yeah, it's open. I've posted it. I've posted it on LinkedIn, Instagram, my Facebook group. I've started what you call it an event. I've created an event an event, right?

Norine 1:17:01

So anyone any mommies or anyone that wants to have the discussion you don't have to be a mother to have it, because I feel like you can see when someone is having mom give. You can be the babysitter for someone that's having all this mom give. I really hate that. I need to hire a babysitter. Have you watched them or have you helped me? Because I have to go out and work. I really hate leaving my kids. So it is open to anyone that wants to have the discussion. It is not open to the trolls, though.

Paula 1:17:31

Noted and I saw it and I think I reposted it in my story. I just wasn't sure, because I saw it it was for moms and I was like, well, I'm not a mom, but all right. So as we come to an end of this, first of all, thank you so much for hanging out with me. I've learned so much about several sisters and plug I know you used to do. I remember I was one time so sad I missed the luncheon. Used to do luncheon and meetups. Are those going to come back or no?

Mental Health and Self-Care Tips

Norine 1:17:58

Those are definitely going to come back. The luncheon was in March. I am working on something somewhat of a retreat for next year. I'm trying to really get some details on that. But yeah, we definitely try to meet up. We're actually trying to work on getting together for an axe throwing.

Paula 1:18:17

That is very useful for your stress, your anxiety, your mental health, especially if you're in the corporate world or you're just dealing with shit. That's it. That's why I like boxing. I go release all my stress when I'm boxing because the power of just hitting something helps.

Norine 1:18:35

I wish we had one of those, one of the smash rooms.

Paula 1:18:39

I wish we had one here, I want to go to one of those too, where you just smashed.

Norine 1:18:45

I feel I'm overdue for smashing.

Paula 1:18:49

We need to plan a smashing trip, we need to figure out where they have a smashing, and then we plan our trip because we are supposed to meetups, you know, Exactly. And now I'm looking forward to seeing what all that comes out with unplugged, several sisters and hopefully to show up in one of those real life meetups. Yeah, stone, what advice would you give a person right now who is struggling to share their story and who wants to, but they're struggling?

Norine 1:19:24

Well, I would say, just do it. I would say, if you are really struggling, maybe you want to write it out first. You know, like as if you're. You know, like I always encourage people to journal and write things down, but say it out loud, maybe in the mirror, you know, not like a TED talk, it would be a TED talk to yourself. You know, just say it out loud. You know, talk to people about it.

Norine 1:19:50

If you're seeing a therapist, ask your therapist what they think about you sharing it for the world, because you can probably tell your therapist things, but you can't share it anywhere else. You know, your therapist is only to help you bring healing. But I would say, you know, write it down, come to terms with it. First of all, if you have not healed yourself, try and get some healing. You know, if it has to be your first time sharing your story, then make sure you're ready. Make sure you're mentally ready. Like, think about what you want to say. Think about the people that are involved, what they're going to think. I mean not that it matters what they think, but in the sense of how are you going to feel?

Paula 1:20:36

For your mental health space. You need to prepare for that Exactly.

Norine 1:20:41

Prepare yourself mentally for the backlash of what people may say when they hear it. You know, that way you're all encompassing, you're ready to go. You know. Protect yourself essentially. Just protect yourself mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and then do it, just do it. It's your story to tell.

Paula 1:21:03

Yes, and there's power in sharing your story, there's healing in sharing your story. It took me a while to understand that, but once I started just talking my stories and sharing them out, I realized how much burden has been lifted from my heart. Your heart gets so heavy and then, once you start talking, you see it little by little decreasing. So one mental health self-care tip for the people.

Norine 1:21:29

Oh, take time for yourself unapologetically. Don't be afraid to tell people, no. Just, you know like right now I am here by myself. So after I get off of this, yeah, my cleaning helps me. That's part of my mental health care, you know. So, take time for yourself. Do not apologize to take time If somebody asks you to do something and they say, well, what are you doing today? Nothing, well, can you do this? No, but you're not doing anything. Oh, no, that's the point.

Norine 1:22:01

Yeah, the point is doing nothing. The point is doing nothing. I'm doing something. You just don't see it. Love yourself. Take time to love yourself. You know, give yourself some love. So if you got to take yourself out for a manny petty lunch, brunch or drink, do it. Don't always have to feel like you have to explain yourself to people. Just be unapologetic about it, because at the end of the day you know you can't worry about what they're thinking about what you're doing. You have to live in this body. This is your life. You get to decide how you're going to live it and be happy in it. You know you want to have a fulfilling life. Take time for yourself.

Paula 1:22:43

I mean, I mean, I agree with all that said. Now, as we come to an end, please let the people know where they can find you, where they can find your podcast. Whatever you got, whatever they should be looking forward to, this is the time to sell yourself in the right way, in the right way.

Norine 1:23:02

I don't even want to think about what the wrong way is.

Paula 1:23:06

I mean we all know the wrong way. We're hard survivor stories, but OK.

Norine 1:23:11

Oh my gosh. So if you want to find me, I am on all the things I do. So you can find Save Our Sisters group on Facebook. You can definitely join. You know, we've been more than happy to have you in the group. We share a lot of information in there, encouraging things For those that live in the local area. We share a lot of things that are going on locally. I'm also on Instagram on the Save Our Sisters on the score 2020 or at Save Our Sisters 2020. My email address I mean that's my link tree. You know my Instagram has my link tree. So if you find me on Instagram under Save Our Sisters on the score 2020, my link tree is in my bio. That'll take you to everything. The podcast Save Our Sisters Unplug is on everything. So Spotify, apple, google, stitcher, all those things, All those things. And then, of course, I'm also on LinkedIn under my government name, noreen Foy. Friend me.

Paula 1:24:12

You know we can do some collaboration and some chatting, so and she's very active on LinkedIn for all the LinkedIn lovers over there. But also you kept on saying on the group you share locally. Can you tell the people where locally is, because I don't believe in.

Norine 1:24:27

Illinois. I am from Illinois, so I am a couple of hours, maybe two and a half hours, south of Chicago.

Paula 1:24:36

Nice.

Norine 1:24:37

Small town living. It's big town living for me because I come from a small island, but for those that live in big cities it's a small town.

Paula 1:24:47

And sometimes there's love in small towns. Ok, yeah.

Norine 1:24:52

But everybody knows your business in small towns too, so Not bad Hose and cons.

Paula 1:25:00

But it also feels like a family. We're in the big city. You feel like you're all by yourself.

Norine 1:25:04

Yeah, sometimes that's a good thing.

Paula 1:25:09

All right. Well, thank you so much, noreen. Thank you, sheet Talkers, for tuning in and spending your valuable time with us. We appreciate you To connect with us more. Make sure you subscribe to our newsletter and catch all the Sheet Talking vibes before anybody else. You can subscribe to our newsletter through our website, wwwtalksheetrepeercom, and or our merchandise website, wwwtalksheetrepeershop. And, while you're there, feel free to shop away. Talksheetrepeer is available on all social media platforms with the handle Talksheet with P. Follow us and engage with us. Better yet, if you're feeling generous, give us a review on our podcast and all raters on Spotify. You can also share a beer with me when my beer lovers at. I mean. What better way to support the movement than sharing a beer with me by buying me a beer at buymecoffeecom? Thank you for listening, sharing, engaging and support in any way that you do. Remember, new episodes are out every Wednesday and for part two, if any, on Fridays. Let's talk and all listen to some Sheet. Happy Sheet Talking.